


A King's Last Command

by Mai_Blade



Category: Sofia the First (Cartoon)
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/M, Greylock shows up eventually I swear, Multi, Past Rape/Non-con, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2018-12-31 15:02:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 51,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12135027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mai_Blade/pseuds/Mai_Blade
Summary: From the day the previous Royal Sorceress died, you had been bound to your King, cursed to serve his every command save for the desires of his heart and loins. With his love and lust for you unrequited, he gives you one last command on his deathbed, a cruel punishment for a curse you had no control over:"Make any man you fall in love with your king, the one you can never touch or be touched by. Then you shall know my suffering."You never expect to have to deal with it because to fall in love again seems like such an impossible thing.





	1. Rumors Run Ahead in Red Dresses

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I no own. You no sue.
> 
> No Greylock for quite a while, but I put his tags up anyway. :P
> 
> This story has 11 chapters so far. I'll update once or twice a week until it's caught up, and then it'll be on the same schedule as Luna is. I'm working on chapters twelve and thirteen. :)
> 
> So, warnings: past rape, Mary-Sue magical power, Rea's damaged goods, don't expect monogamy, dubious consent in the future... etc.
> 
> (...I really, really wanted to see Greylock again... but not like that. Not like that... Curse you, Day of the Sorcerers! TT_TT )

It was late fall when you reached the kingdom of Enchancia. You looked into renting a building for the coming winter and found a suitable one for a decent price. The man renting it to you kept giving your attire strange looks, but you were used to that. Not many women wore trousers, after all, but you didn’t want dresses or robes getting in your way when you traveled or ran. You ignored the strange looks in favor of getting the building rented and set up. Once the deal was done, you started cleaning and stocking your new temporary apothecary. 

You were in the middle of sweeping the ground floor when a woman walked in, looking haggard and desperate.

“Please,” she said, wringing her hands. “I heard you were setting up an apothecary. Do you have something that will lower a child’s fever?”

You leaned slightly on your broom. “How old is the child?”

The woman blinked her eyes rapidly and swallowed. “He’s just a young thing. Three years old last month, Miss.”

You set your broom aside and went into the backroom to rummage through your carpetbag for the appropriate bottle. Earlier that fall a mother asked you to brew a cure for her two-year old girl in the kingdom of Rudistan and you still had some of the potion left. You noted that there was enough left for two dosages, so you divided the liquid into two small vials. You took one vial and returned to the front room.

“Is your child allergic to any plants?”

The mother shook her head, “None that I know of, but he is still so very young…”

You frowned, unhappy, “True. Still, I must warn you. If you give this to your child, his fever may indeed break before tomorrow morning, but if he is allergic to any ingredient within the potion then he may likely die instead.”

The woman burst into tears. “But he’s so sick! My mother is so worried, she lost my brother to the flu before I was born and now I am afraid I will lose my son!”

You held out the vial. “It is your choice whether you administer this to your child or not. Whether it works or not, pay me later whatever you feel is appropriate.”

She took the vial from your hand. “I have gold—“

You held up your hand to silence her. “If you use it, then come pay me for it. If you don’t use it, then return it.”

You picked up your broom and returned to your chores in a clear dismissal. The woman stood there for a moment, staring at the vial before turning and hurrying out of your shop.

Nothing of further note occurred in your little shop that day.

***

You were stocking the shelves the next morning when the woman returned, bursting into the shop looking disheveled but joyous.

“Oh, _thank you_ , Miss, thank you!” She came right up to you and invaded your space to clasp your hands and smile at you. “I gave my boy the potion and his fever broke last night. My mother says he’s going to be well, and it’s all thanks to you!”

You drew your hands back, “Not at all. It was you and your mother who watched over him, was it not?”

She shook her head, “Yes, but it was _your_ potion that broke that dreadful fever. I was so afraid…so afraid…” She hid her face for a moment before pulling herself together. She breathed deeply and dropped her hands. She met your eyes, “Thank you, healer. Thank you for saving my son. Thank you!”

You stared blandly. “You are welcome. Now, since you have used my services?”

She startled, “Oh, yes!” She dug through her pockets and held out her hand. You positioned yours beneath hers, and she dropped ten gold coins into your palm. “I know it’s not much, but it is all I can spare from the budget. I-I do hope it is enough…?”

From her tone, you could tell she had made the last remark a question. You closed your fingers over the gold long enough to slip them into your pocket. “Add a meal and I will consider the debt paid.”

She looked confused for a moment, as though she had been expecting a different answer, but she nodded after a moment all the same. “O-Of course! Would today—?”

“Not today,” you cut her off. “After all, your son is still recovering. At your convenience, as long as it is before I leave in the spring.”

“Very well, Miss,” she said. She took and step back and gave a short bow. “Thank you again, Miss. I will send my husband for you for dinner one day soon, I promise.”

You returned to lining up the bottles on the shelves, giving her yet another clear dismissal. She left, feeling a little off-put. She had been so happier earlier, but you didn’t share her excitement or joy at all. It was as if…

As if you couldn’t have cared less.

***

You brought out your magic wand and left the shop to face it. You pointed your wand at a sign on the ground, saying, “Suspendisse signum.” With a wand flick, the apothecary sign hung from two metal rings on a protruding piece of wood. You repeated the spell and a smaller second sign hung from the first, a piece of wood simply adorned with a wand and three stars.

You stood there on the street and wondered if you should clean the windows as well. They were dusty, and while they added a certain air to your shop, you weren’t quite sure if that was the image you wanted to portray. Granted, you were terrible at social interactions and the like, but you _did_ want people to come to your shop. Perhaps a cleaner appearance would make up for your brusque manners? Well, it couldn’t hurt much.

“Fenestra mundum,” you invoked calmly, pointing your wand at the windows each in turn.

“You can use magic?!”

There was no intent to kill, so you hadn’t noticed that you had gained the attention of a child. You turned to look and saw that it was a girl. “What does it look like?”

She seriously considered the question, staring hard at your wand and the almost finished windows. She nodded decisively. “You can use magic.”

“Very good,” you commented drily, finishing your task. You headed inside and to your annoyance, the girl followed you as though it wasn’t dangerous in the slightest. Even after two years, it still irked you that the people in the peaceful southern kingdoms could be so oblivious towards potential danger. In your homeland, a smart child didn’t follow strangers anywhere. Stupid children were usually never heard from again.

You retired behind the counter and the girl took a seat on one of the stools you had set up for customers who wanted to wait for their concoctions. She put her arms on the counter and stared at you. “So what kind of shop are you opening?”

“An apothecary,” you replied, putting away the wand. It was one of many, but still, waste not, want not.

“What is an apoth-apoth-apoth—“

“Ah-po-theh-kari,” you pronounced. “An apothecary is, in essence, where I hand out medicines to either people who practice healing, or to customers who come directly to me. I offer medical advice, and I can help with midwifery, if need be. Since I am also a sorceress,” you ignored the child’s excited yell, “I can also use magic when brewing the cures and potions I sell.”

“Oh,” she said, remembering something, “So you’re the one who helped Mr. Samson’s little boy? He was so worried, saying his wife and mother-in-law were wearing themselves out trying to break his fever. This morning he was all happy, saying a healer made a potion that made his boy better. Was that you?”

“What do you think?”

She stared at you and then looked around your shop. She nodded. “With all this here and you just moving in, yes, I think it was you.”

“Good observation,” you commented without feeling. You tented your hands and stared at her. “Now, shouldn’t you be somewhere else?”

She shook her head, “Not really.” She brightened, “Oh, I’m Jade!”

You pursed your lips for a moment before grudgingly replying, “(False Name). (False Name) the Regretful.”

Jade tilted her head. “That’s a strange name for a sorceress. Most sorcerers and sorceresses have names like the Great or the Grand or the Sensational. Why don’t you?”

“Because I am regretful,” you replied bluntly.

“What do you regret?”

“Things beyond your comprehension, Jade,” you answered with a touch of frost. “If you will excuse me, I have potions to brew and I will need to concentrate.”

Jade hopped off the stool and let you herd her towards the door. “Will you be coming to the village feast this week?”

You stopped, “The what?”

Jade smiled up at you, “The village feast! Every year before the snow sets in, we have a feast to celebrate the harvests and give thanks for the prosperity of the village. You said you are going to be here all winter so I think you will be welcome to attend. We want everyone in the village to be happy!”

You noticed one of her points. “How did you know I would be here for the winter?”

Jade shrugged. “Mr. Samson said so. He said that his wife said you would be leaving in the spring. Is that true?”

“It is,” you confirmed.

Jade looked crestfallen, “Aw! I was hoping you would stay and live here. There is a sorcerer up at the castle, but I hardly ever get to see him perform magic, and his magic is somewhat awful, really. When I saw you use magic I hoped you would stay and we could have our own magic user in the village!”

“I have things to do when the winter is gone,” you told her plainly. You gave her a slight push, “Now, go on. I’m sure you have better things to do than socialize with a sorceress.”

“I really don’t,” Jade protested from the street. She waved and yelled, “Bye!”

You shut the door and moved over to the window the flip the sign to ‘Closed’.

_Children._

You shook your head and headed to the backroom. You really did have potions to brew. After all, you didn’t want a prolonged panicked visit in the middle of the night like that mother in Rudistan had given you that one time. Or that husband who literally broke down your door last winter for his wife’s sake. Or the wife in Friezenburg who came screaming for you to save her husband… Yes, better to have as much prepared before it is needed. What was that phrase?

Digging the well before you’re thirsty?

Hm, perhaps not quite what you meant, but close enough. You’re a sorceress, not a wordsmith, after all.

***

You were in the last stages of a delicate potion when loud knocking came from the front door. Surprised, your hand slipped, dropping in a miniscule amount more than you had intended, rendering the potion useless and causing it to blow up in your face.

When you opened the door a moment later, the royal messenger took a step back at your black, soot-covered face and spiked bangs. You were stern, “That was unwise, sir. When the sign says ‘Closed’, it does for a reason.”

“Apologies, sorceress,” the messenger replied. He stood straight. “King Roland II of Enchancia has summoned you to meet him at the castle.”

You folded your arms, “Right now?”

The royal messenger nodded, “As soon as possible, he said.”

You ran a hand through your hair and flattened the spikes. “One moment, I want to wash my face.”

You returned the backroom and looked at your face in a mirror. Your master would have drawn your blood for such a failure. Pouring water into a basin you washed the soot from your face and hair. Once you were satisfied with your appearance, you extinguished the fire beneath the cauldron and returned to the messenger at the door. Closing the door behind you, you pointed your wand at it, “Tutum cataracta.” The door audibly locked.

You hid your wand up one of the voluminous sleeves of your short robe and turned to the street. The messenger had come with a carriage and held the door open for you. You took a seat, as did he, and the driver set off.

***

When it came to castles, you much preferred to see them at night when they were aglow against the dark sky. As it was, the castle of Enchancia was pretty, but you had seen better and more impressive in your travels. The messenger opened the door and gave you his hand to help you down from the carriage. You accepted, albeit reluctantly, and stepped down.

A tall, well-dressed older man descended the stairs from the castle. He stopped in front of you, “Greetings. I am Baileywick, the steward of Enchancia. You are the sorceress who recently set up shop in Dunwiddie, yes?”

“Yes,” you replied shortly.

Baileywick’s eyebrow rose slightly before lowering again. “Please, follow me. The king wants to meet with you.”

You followed the steward up the stairs and into the castle. Two more staircases and one long hall later you walked into the room where the king was waiting.

Baileywick opened the doors and stepped in to announce you. “Your Majesties, the woman you wished to meet is here.”

“Thank you, Baileywick,” a voice answered from within. It was a sitting room and the queen was in attendance as well. The king, Roland II you assumed, stood and welcomed you, “You are the sorceress who opened an apothecary in Dunwiddie, are you not?”

“I am,” you confirmed, ignoring the looks your outfit got from both the king and queen. You preferred trousers and short robe so you could run. Was that really so unusual? Well, actually, thinking about the past two years, yes, women wearing trousers _was_ unusual. Not that you were going to change your habits; this attire had saved your life more than once. You weren’t going to die because society said you had to wear an impractical dress.

The king spoke, “Might I ask what brought you to Enchancia?”

You resisted the urge to shrug, “Nothing specific, Your Majesty. Winter is coming, and this was the nearest village when I finally realized. I travel most of the year, but I prefer to be in one place to wait out winter’s cold.”

Roland seemed interested. “You travel? May I ask where you have been?”

You folded your hands behind your back. “I have been to Friezenburg, Rudistan, Tangu, and many more places than I care to name. I travel in order to…” _Eliminate pretenders to thrones._ “…help people, although I will be the first to admit that I am not very personable.”

“That is an admirable goal,” the king praised. He laughed, “Although I’m not sure how much work you’ll find in Enchancia. The kingdom is a safe, peaceful place.”

You nodded. “Yes, I have noticed. It is a wonderful place.”

The king paused for a moment, thinking. He stared at you. “I may as well ask outright: are you (False Name) the Hero?”

You blinked in surprise. “I am (False Name) the Regretful.”

Roland walked over to a desk and picked up several pieces of parchment. He returned and held them up. “These are letters from kings and all manner of nobility from across the southern kingdoms praising the virtues of (False Name) the Hero. Some of these are stories or news that others have passed on to me, but they all say the same thing: the sorceress (False Name) is a hero to monarchies and nobility everywhere. She has prevented coups and assassinations, and returned the overthrown to their places of rule. She has prevented kingdoms from crumbling, from false leaders taking root, and not only that, she helps the populace of anywhere she goes. She has saved crops and children alike, turned away packs of wolves and beasts, and protected villages from fires and avalanches.

“(False Name), in these past two years, you have become quite famous to the royal and noble ranks. We know you as (False Name) the Hero for a reason.”

You grimaced. “I did not do any of what I did in order to become famous.” That works against you, really. Right now was a prime example: not even three days into settling down for the winter and the king already knows who you are and what you’ve been doing.

Roland set the parchments down. “That makes you all the more a hero in my eyes. You have worked hard for the peace of kingdoms and the happiness of its people, no matter who they are. Those you have saved all say that others should consider it an honor to have you within their borders. Your presence ensures that help of heroic proportions is never far away should it be needed. (False Name), I am honored to welcome you to Enchancia. I hope you will find your stay a pleasant one.”

The queen finally spoke, smiling at you from her chair. “I welcome you as well. My children were quite excited to hear rumors that (False Name) was headed towards Enchancia. I imagine they will want to meet you once they realize you are here.”

You just barely refrained from making a face at that. _Children._ “Well, my shop is in Dunwiddie should they want to see me for anything.”

“I doubt they will,” Roland put in, taking a seat near the queen. “We have our own Royal Sorcerer, you see. Cedric may not be the best at spells, but his potion skills are usually adequate for the children’s needs.”

You mentally went through your memories of the Royal Sorcerers you had heard of. “Are you referring to Cedric the Sensational?”

Roland frowned slightly. “While Cedric _has_ improved somewhat, I wouldn’t exactly call him ‘sensational’.”

Yes, you had heard the rumors that Cedric was a terrible court sorcerer. However, having heard the king just now, you couldn’t help but wonder if maybe that was because Cedric’s king had failed him somehow. You had once been a court sorcerer and your king’s kind words had meant the world to you. How damaged might a court sorcerer become if his own king scorned him? You wanted to shudder from the mere thought.

The queen spoke up. “(False Name), have you heard of the village feast this week?”

You nodded. “Indeed I have, Your Majesty. A young village girl named Jade invited me to attend.”

The queen smiled, “Marvelous! I do hope you will attend. It will be held here in the castle.”

That common folk were invited into some castles was still surprising to you. Your king was probably rolling in his grave at the thought. That there were kingdoms out there that had already achieved his ambition, so casually… He had wanted so much change in his lifetime, so many dreams. You had wanted to see the fruition of his dreams, but you only saw one, and the price had been too high.

You would gladly trade the freedom of the past two years and the looming future if only he would live again.

“I will attend,” you said carefully, smothering the sorrow welling up inside at the thought of your lost king.

“Fantastic,” Roland exclaimed. He addressed the steward, “Baileywick, arrange for a carriage to pick up (False Name) for the feast. Separate from the one Sofia wants for her friends and their families.”

“Of course, sire,” Baileywick bowed.

The queen clasped her hands. “(False Name), if it is not too much to ask, would you consider performing at the feast? I have heard quite wondrous stories of your performances for King Samuel of Veila.”

The crashing galaxies and spinning solar systems, the aurora borealis, and the crystal mirrors… you tilted your head in a show of uncertainty. “I have no wish to step on the toes of your Royal Sorcerer. Perhaps we could perform together?”

Roland frowned slightly. “Well…” He glanced at his queen who gazed back. “I suppose it couldn’t hurt. Baileywick, can you take (False Name) to meet Cedric? Tell him I want him to perform with her for the feast.”

Baileywick bowed again. “As you wish, Your Majesty.” He turned to you. “Please follow me, Miss (False Name).”

You bowed your goodbye to the royals and left with Baileywick. You had heard the rumors of Cedric of Enchancia. 

Now you were finally going to see the truth—or lies—of them.

**The strangest part about being famous is you don't get to give first impressions anymore. Everyone already has an impression of you before you meet them.**

**~Kristen Stewart**


	2. Decisions, Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I no own. You no sue.
> 
> I thought about making you 'nearly thirty' but I decided to leave it ambiguous (at least I think I did).
> 
> Possible trigger warnings. Beatings mentioned, and other unpleasant things. Nothing too graphic, I hope.
> 
> Also, I'm apparently weak as all hell and can't seem to commit to the 'once or twice a week' thing I mentioned earlier, so you'll probably get maybe two more chapters this week. :P
> 
> Remember Chapter 12 I also mentioned? Finished and posted it at Luna. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

“Their majesties were quite eager to meet you,” Baileywick commented as he led you through the castle. “They had been hoping that the sorceress setting up shop in the village was indeed (False Name) the Hero.”

“I am no hero,” you protested.

“Others would disagree,” the steward replied. “Particularly mothers whose children you have saved, for example.”

You hummed noncommittally as he led you up a spiraling staircase. That much was usually true, you supposed. Most mothers were annoyingly grateful while repeating their thanks after you heard them the first time. Baileywick came to a stop before a door and knocked. An explosion came from within and you winced sympathetically.

You heard footsteps and soon the door opened. A thin man with a long nose and peculiar silver bangs looked sourly at Baileywick, his tone brusque. “Yes, what is it, Baileywick?” He spied you beyond the steward and immediately straightened, opening the door wider. “It that—is she?”

The first thing you noticed about Cedric’s clothing when he stopped hiding behind the door was the yellow bow around his neck. He reminded you of a present your king had given you once, long ago when he was just a prince and you still loved him.

“Yes,” Baileywick replied drily at the sorcerer’s rude inquiry. “Cedric, meet (False Name) the Hero.”

“The Regretful,” you insisted, mentally slapping yourself upside the head for comparing the man to a gift merely because of his choice of bowtie. Besides, the bow of your gift had been red, not yellow.

“Charmed,” Cedric said, apparently torn between two conflicting emotions.

Baileywick delivered the king’s command. “Cedric, the king and queen would like for you to collaborate with (False Name) for the performance at the feast this week.”

Cedric’s face did an impressive job of mixing glee with annoyance. “Is that so? Come in, (False Name), come in.” He stepped aside for you to enter his workshop.

“And Cedric,” Baileywick continued, “Try to not embarrass the lady.”

Cedric scowled and shut the door on Baileywick’s face once you were inside, “Like I would on purpose, Baileywick. Perfect Baileywick, with everything exactly on time, always getting praised…”

He muttered for a moment longer while you peered around his workshop. As it was a tower, the entire area was circular. The first level was messy and had staircases leading both up and down. You saw a symbol of the sun hanging on the wall behind a desk and smirked slightly. You too placed a symbol of the sun in your workshop. A proper sorcerer always did. Cedric’s workshop was messy, but served its purpose, so you had no complaints on that count.

“Kaw.”

You focused on the raven you had glanced over. It was staring at you balefully, apparently already resentful of your presence in the tower. Your own shoulder felt empty, but that was a feeling you had long gotten used to, even before the passing of your king.

“Ahem,” Cedric cleared his throat. You turned to face him and he gave a deep bow. “It is a pleasure to meet you, (False Name). I have heard much about you.”

“And I you,” you replied. He looked pleased at that and you realized he thought you meant that as a compliment. Ah… well, it’s not your fault if he jumped to conclusions. You decided to get to the root of your visit. “The queen asked me to perform at the feast this week. I asked the king if I could perform with you.”

Oh, wait, that made it worse.

“Of course,” Cedric beamed, standing a little too close to you as he spoke. “I would be delighted to perform with you.” He smiled at you for a moment before striding over to his desk, gesturing for you to follow. “As a matter of fact, I was just going over some ideas on what to do. King Roland wants to thank the villagers for all their hard work this year with the harvests and wants me to entertain them.” He sounded annoyed at that. 

He continued as you joined him at the table, “The event has two parts: a feast and then a dance. The feast will consist of food prepared using the harvests and the kitchen staff will be in charge of that. The entertainment falls to me. Well, us, I suppose,” Cedric amended with a sideways glance at you. He coughed as you looked at him, turning his gaze away. “Um, where was… oh, right. So we will be expected to provide entertainment while everyone eats, and then a magical spectacle for the dance, in addition to entertaining any children who gravitate towards us.”

You both grimaced at that, glaring down at his book without seeing it. _Children._

You put aside your distaste at the thought of entertaining children and thought about what magic you should cast and how to work with Cedric. You refrained from asking him anything stupid or obvious, such as asking him if he’s done this sort of thing before, because he has, being a royal sorcerer and all. You clasped your hands behind your back and frowned in thought. You were quite aware that Cedric was now being less than discreet in stealing glances at you, but since it lacked bloodlust, you let his staring slide.

“What did you have in mind while people ate?”

Cedric jumped, slightly startled by your sudden question. He coughed into his hand and made the pretense of pulling himself together. “Well, for the feast when everyone is eating, I thought of having butterflies flying about.”

You tilted your head slightly, thinking about it. “We could make them leave behind golden trails while they fly. Above, in the greater cluster, they would appear to be flying in golden light.”

Cedric beamed at you, entirely too eager to please and flatter you. “That’s a great idea! The butterflies will be beautiful, but not too distracting. You truly are as inventive as they say!”

You wondered what people _did _say about you. It was terrible to admit, even to yourself, but you had had no idea that stories about you were in wide circulation. So far, it appeared to be the more positive things you had done, but there were definitely darker aspects to your travels that you would rather not have brought to light.__

__You deflected his insincere flattery and moved on to the next part. “What about the dance?”_ _

__Cedric scowled and folded his arms as he remembered. “Baileywick is in charge of decorating the hall where the dance will be held. He mentioned that he would be having me enchant the drapes on the windows to look like golden, rippling wheat. So, whatever we do, I suppose we’d better make sure it doesn’t clash with the drapes.”_ _

__You pondered on that. “What about golden bubbles that don’t pop? We can have them floating en masse above and some floating torso-high. The bubbles can be of varying size, and for double the effect, people can hold a bubble in their hands and see a happy memory, with memories of working in the field or eating food from the fields as being more likely to be seen. It would be a sort of variation on my crystal mirrors and the Morpho Mirror spell.”_ _

__Cedric was staring at you. “Can you… Show me.”_ _

__He changed his question into a statement. Well, it was more of a command, but that didn’t bother you. You were, after all, the one who had asked to be paired with him for the event. Without a word, you consented and turned away from his desk while pulling one of your spare wands from up your sleeve. Pointing upwards you invoked, “Aurea bullis considerandam agro felix memorias!”_ _

__Golden bubbles spewed from the end of your wand as you waved it in circles. Soon Cedric’s tower was filled with varying sizes of golden bubbles. Cedric eyed one as it floated near him and warily held out his hand to it. The golden bubble landed on his palm and immediately Cedric’s eyes focused on it. Long moments passed before Cedric gently tossed the bubble back into the air._ _

__“When I was small my parents took me apple picking. My father carried me on his shoulders so I could pick my first apple. When we got home, Mummy made a fresh apple pie.” Cedric’s voice dropped and he looked wistful. “I hadn’t thought of that day in years…”_ _

__You held out your palm to a golden bubble and it landed softly on your palm. Staring at it revealed a dimmed memory made clear once more. Your grandmother was alive, and you were planting poisonous plants that grew in the wild forests surrounding the castle. She recited their uses, and told you that now you wouldn’t have to go into the forest by yourself when she was gone. You flicked your hand and the bubble floated upwards._ _

__Cedric coughed. “Well, I can see why royalty would extol your demonstrations.” He mused, “Perhaps we could add the butterflies to this?” He flicked his wand, “Goldenia butterflyis!”_ _

__Golden butterflies immediately appeared among the golden bubbles and began fluttering around. Some landed on the bubbles themselves, looking, what was the word, cute? You nodded. “I think this will do. For entertaining the children, I suppose we can do small party tricks such as making flowers bloom in front of them, or conjuring tiny knights and dragons to battle for them.”_ _

__Cedric sighed at the thought of children clamoring around him. “I can do more than that, too, if I need to. I don’t particularly want to, but King Roland would be annoyed if the children were unhappy.”_ _

__You frowned at the thought of Roland scolding Cedric. “I see. Well, I suppose we will see when the time arrives. As sorcerers, we will do what we must, even if Roland is not my king.”_ _

__The thin sorcerer turned to you. “Who is your king? No one seems to know that, even though you’ve mentioned him to quite a few people.”_ _

__You rubbed your face with your palm. Really, your mouth had blabbed about your king that much? By Vivien, you had to close your trap. You returned your hand to clasp the other behind your back and you shook your head. “He is dead. That is all I have to say on the matter.”_ _

__Cedric cringed away as thought you had shouted. In truth, you had only frosted your voice, but he behaved as though you had degraded him for even asking. You glanced at him from the corner of your eyes as he stumbled over an apology._ _

__You hadn’t spent a large amount of time with Cedric yet but already he seemed liked a kicked and abused animal. What sort of environment made so broken a sorcerer’s spirit? Was it the fault of his king or something more? It was not that you particularly cared about Cedric as a person, but rather you were curious as to why he was so broken when apparently he was free of the multitude of curses such as the ones placed on you since birth. If he was freer than you were, why was he so miserable serving his king?_ _

__“I’m not mad,” you told him truthfully, interrupting his painful apology. “His life and death is merely something I keep close. It is not something I share, not with anyone.”_ _

__“I-I see,” Cedric replied uncertainly. He was wringing his hands, apparently uncomfortable now that the majority of the planning was over and he had stumbled into a faux pas._ _

__“Do you dance?” you asked suddenly._ _

__Cedric startled, looking back at you. “What?”_ _

__You didn’t repeat yourself. You nodded at the mingling bubbles and butterflies. “We ought to test the enchantments, make sure they flow properly around a dancing couple.”_ _

__Cedric turned crimson and suddenly appeared to be having trouble breathing. “Y-You want to dance w-w-with _me_?”_ _

__That _was_ what you just asked. You wondered if peace dulled one’s wits. Your grandfather had beaten that particular habit out of you. When he said something you had better have understood it the first time, otherwise it was the—_ _

__You shook your head, shaking your grandfather from your thoughts. You unclasped your hands and placed them on your hips. “Can you waltz?”_ _

__Cedric’s eyes wandered over to a portrait of two people. “W-Well, my Mummy taught me when I was younger…” So the woman in the portrait was his ‘Mummy’? "But that was a long time ago and—“_ _

__You lost patience and flicked your wand at him. “Saltare a waltz.”_ _

__Cedric shouted as your spell hit him, “What?”_ _

__You set your wand back up your sleeve and grabbed Cedric’s hands just before his legs started moving on their own. You placed his hands where they needed to go and followed his magical lead, staring blandly at his startled face. His fingers twitched at your hip and against your hand as your magic made him dance._ _

__Wormwood cawed loudly and flapped his wings in preparation for flight and fight. He was not going to let you get away with casting a spell on his master._ _

__Cedric apparently understood his familiar’s intentions and shouted over your head, “No, Wormy! It-It’s all right. I don’t…” He gazed down at you and smiled stupidly. “I don’t mind.”_ _

__He should, you thought to yourself. If you didn’t have all manner of counter-spells and protective spells on you, you would be seriously irritated if someone cast a spell on you against your will. At that thought, your mind wandered off on a tangent, wondering when the last time you had been hit with a spell was. You had been twelve, you think, and your grandmother had been casting the protective enchantments you still wore. The fact that you couldn’t be hit by spells was the reason the old king had resorted to the whip, and your grandfather had as well. All the protection against spells, yet none against the sword or whip… now there was the biggest failure you could remember of your grandmother._ _

__You blinked your eyes and dragged yourself back to the present. You looked left and right, and cast a look above. The bubbles and butterflies parted just fine, and the effect was nice enough. Not as impressive as the aurora borealis you summoned in Veila but that was fine by you._ _

__Someone knocked at the door, “Mr. Cedric, I need your help.”_ _

__Cedric’s head snapped towards the door as it opened. “No, Sofia—!”_ _

__The door swung open and you saw a little princess standing there in a purple dress. A dress that impractical had to belong to a princess. Her eyes widened as she took in the scene before her. A wide smile spread across her face and she brought her hands up to her cheeks. “Mr. Cedric! You’re dancing! Oh, and the bubbles and butterflies are so pretty!”_ _

__A red flush covered Cedric’s face. “Princess Sofia, I assure you that it’s not what it looks like.”_ _

__She giggled. “It looks like you’re dancing.”_ _

__Cedric’s lips twitched. “Well, I can assure you that it’s not by _choice._ ”_ _

__You rolled your eyes and released his hand while stepping back. In a smooth motion, you drew your wand and pointed it at Cedric, “Quiscere faciam waltz.”_ _

__Cedric stopped dancing and straightened his yellow bowtie. You banished the golden bubbles and he banished the butterflies. You both turned back to the girl._ _

__“What is it, princess?” asked Cedric, tapping his wand against his palm._ _

__She smiled at him. “I need some help with my magic lessons.”_ _

__Cedric rolled his eyes. “Of course you do.” He turned to you and cleared his throat nervously. “Well, I think we got a lot done today. We should… we should get together again and practice more.”_ _

__He said that last part rather quickly and made Princess Sofia giggle into her hand. He blushed._ _

__You shrugged one shoulder in disinterest, “Tomorrow afternoon, then?”_ _

__Cedric nodded eagerly, “Yes!” He coughed into his hand and dialed down his tone. “I mean, yes, that would be perfect.”_ _

__“Very well,” you said. You bowed to the princess, “Good afternoon, princess.”_ _

__She gave you a pretty curtsey in return. “Good afternoon, sorceress.” She looked up at you eagerly. “Oh, won’t you stay for dinner? I know Amber and James want to meet you!”_ _

__You refrained from making a face in displeasure at the thought. “I am afraid I must decline for today, princess. Perhaps another time.”_ _

__It wasn’t meant to be a question._ _

__Sofia brightened, “Tomorrow, then! I’ll ask Dad and Mom tonight and if they say yes then you can come to dinner tomorrow night!”_ _

__You clenched your hand behind your back, “If you insist.”_ _

__Sofia jumped up and down briefly, “Great! I know that will make James happy. He wants to hear about your adventures! Oh, and I know Amber wants to ask you about the princes and princesses you’ve saved. I can’t wait to tell them I met you!”_ _

__You inhaled deeply. “I have many tales to regale them with.”_ _

__Sofia smiled. “I can’t wait for tomorrow then!” She looked past you at Cedric. “Mr. Cedric, would you like to come to dinner, too?”_ _

__Cedric stiffened at the thought of having to dine with the king. “No, I am perfectly fine eating up in my tower, princess.”_ _

__Lucky bastard, you thought feelingly. You bowed your goodbye once again and headed down the spiraling stairs. Before the door behind you closed, you heard, briefly, “Mr. Cedric, are you courting her?”_ _

__His embarrassed splutters where cut off as the door closed._ _

__You sighed and ran a hand through your hair. Not again with this falling in love with you bullshit… why did it have to happen so often? It’s not as though you went around doing it on purpose. Besides which, you had a feeling that some of your past ‘suitors’ were more after your power than your affections._ _

__Although with Cedric it seemed more like he was desperate for the attention of any woman who wasn’t his mother…_ _

__You clasped your hands behind your back as you walked. Well, it’s not as though he had any real chance of winning your love. You kept an ironclad prison around your heart, had since you were young, and you did not intend to let anyone in._ _

__There was no point, not with all the ancient curses upon you._ _

__Although, on the subjects of the ironclad prison around your heart and family curses, perhaps it was time you had children on your own. Yes, at your age it was family record for being childless. Not that you hadn’t had any before, mind you._ _

__Not that you had wanted to keep the first, not after the way she was conceived._ _

__Then again, it wasn’t as though you had truly wanted your first-born daughter to die._ _

__Your hands suddenly clenched at your side tightly enough to be painful as your nails dug into your palms. Curse your conflicting emotions about that child, about your lost Clover! You tried so hard to not think about that child, that one you had when you yourself were much too young. You didn’t want to think about her. You didn’t want to remember her._ _

__(Tiny, wrinkled, frail, ugly, beautiful Clover)_ _

__You glared at the ground as you stalked quickly out of the castle and towards Dunwitty. You made up your mind as you made your way back to your apothecary._ _

__When winter passed, you were going to find a sorcerer who met your criteria and have another daughter. Then, after next year’s winter, you would find a different suitable sorcerer and have your first-born son._ _

__It was past time to ensure your lineage, cursed or not._ _

__

__****_ _

**Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.**

**~Keri Russell**


	3. Do Not Envy Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I no own. You no sue.
> 
> Ahahahaha. [will be giving two updates a day until it's caught up]

The door of your shop opened the next morning and two little girls burst in, bouncing excitedly. Meanwhile, you, behind the counter and with two vials in your hands, watched through half-lidded eyes as Jade and her companion skipped over to you, clearly inviting their selves in when they had no business being in your apothecary.

“Good morning, Miss (False Name),” Jade beamed, climbing up onto a stool. She plunked down as her friend did the same on another stool. She gestured to the dark skinned girl and introduced her, “This is my friend, Ruby.”

“Nice to meet you,” Ruby squealed excitedly. “I’ve never met a real sorceress before!”

You poured half the contents of one vial into the other and intoned drily, “Charmed.”

Jade leaned on the counter and smiled at you. “What are you doing?”

Why did children gravitate towards you? Seriously, every time you opened a shop you eventually had two or three little pests barging into your apothecary and disrupting what should be smooth processes. They came to you so blindly. If you were a dark mage, these foolish children would never have been seen again.

Your lips twitched downwards at your dark thoughts so you pushed them away and answered Jade. “I am preparing a simple potion that will help the drinker sleep through the night.”

Ruby looked confused, “People have trouble sleeping? When I go to bed I’m out like a candle.”

Jade looked thoughtful for a moment before brightening, “Oh, I know! Mr. Gardens has trouble sleeping, or at least that’s what my mom says. Maybe Mr. Gardens will come and buy your potion!”

You set down the half-emptied vial into its holder and swirled the other vial still in your hand. “I am uninterested in whether people buy my potions or not. I brew them for practice so that my skills may not dull.”

Ruby tilted her head. “Then why did you open a medicine shop?”

You noted that they seemed to have abandoned even trying to pronounce ‘apothecary’. You picked up a small empty bottle and skillfully poured the finished potion into it. You picked up your wand from the counter and with a flick of your wrist, the bottle was sealed with a cork. Setting it down you deigned to answer Ruby. “I opened this apothecary because people would eventually seek out my services, whether I had a shop or not. So, in reality, this shop is just preparing for the inevitable.”

Jade put her chin on her palm. “I guess you’re right. I overheard my dad talking to Mr. Humphry about coming to ask if you had any afrodaisies.”

You resisted the urge to snort and averted your eyes from her. You made a mental note to look up what you had in aphrodisiacs that wouldn’t get you in trouble with the law.

“Miss (False Name), I heard you went up to the castle yesterday,” Ruby said. She smiled at you, “Did you meet Sofia? She’s our friend!”

Your eyebrow raised a little. “I thought she was a princess?”

“Sofia’s mom married the king,” Jade explained.

“And he made Sofia a princess,” Ruby concluded. She gushed, “It’s so cool! Sofia’s invited us over there a few times.”

“We’re still friends,” Jade put in, smiling.

The two girls cheered together, “Friends forever!”

You rubbed your right temple. “Is it lunch time yet?”

Ruby tilted her head, “Not yet. Why?”

Okay, you had set yourself up for continued conversation… Well, at least it wasn’t your grave. “I agreed to meet Cedric this afternoon.”

The way the two girls lit up at that made you immediately wish you had phrased that differently.

Ruby squealed, “He asked you out on a date?!”

Jade also squealed, “And you said yes?!”

You raised your hands, “No, nothing like that. Cedric and I are working together to prepare for the upcoming feast.”

The girls looked crestfallen. Jade sat back, “Aww, I was hoping you’d date the sorcerer, fall in love, and stay in Dunwiddie.”

Ruby shook her head, “Don’t be silly, Jade. If she married Cedric, then she’d move into his tower at the castle with him.”

Jade sighed, “I guess so. Besides, Miss (False Name) can probably find someone more handsome and better at magic than Cedric.”

Ruby put her elbows on the counter and rested her head in her palms. “Sofia keeps telling us that Cedric is great at magic, remember? She spends the most time with him out of anyone, so she would know if he was bad at magic, right?”

Jade rolled her eyes. “Cedric is just the only sorcerer she knows, and he _is_ the Royal Sorcerer, so of course she thinks he’s the best. That doesn’t mean he is.”

The children continued prattling on as you wiped down the counter, wondering how your life had gone from conquering battlefields to listening to two little girls gossiping at your counter.

“Okay,” you said suddenly after Jade finished a sentence about a sleepover party, “This has been…enlightening, but I must get ready to go to the castle. You two have…a nice day.”

Jade and Ruby glanced at each other before grinning. They looked back at you.

“You know,” Jade said, “If you _did_ want to charm the sorcerer, you would have our total support.”

“It should be easy,” Ruby added cheerfully. “He’s never had a lady friend.”

You felt like taking a seat. Also like shoving them out the door, but you refrained from bodily force.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you muttered at them. You came out from behind the counter and waved them away, “Now, off with you.”

They ran off, calling back, “Bye-bye!”

You closed the door behind them and switched your sign to ‘Closed’. You sighed in relief as you headed to the back room to make sure you hadn’t left a fire burning under your cauldron. It wouldn’t do to accidently burn down a rented building. You’d be able to fix it, sure, but you didn’t want to demonstrate more skill than you had to reveal. A look around the room revealed nothing unusual so you turned to the mirror to check out your appearance.

You didn’t look your age, but that was probably due to the youth potions you took once a year. Your hair had grown out the past two years, whereas before when you had served your king you had kept it short for efficiency and to keep it out of your eyes. You tugged at the collar of your shirt, making sure the buttons were secure. You rearranged the hood of your robe so it wasn’t bunched up and looked away from your reflection to make sure you didn’t have potion stains on your sleeves. A wand went up each sleeve and you patted down the front of your thigh-length robe and gave your trousers a once-over before you straightened up, satisfied with your appearance. With a nod to the mirror, you turned away and headed out, magically locking your shop on the way.

The walk to the castle was slow and meandering, as you didn’t follow a straight line. You wandered quite freely through the village and then through the forest while completely ignoring the road. A few toadstools found their way into a pack you had slung on your shoulder, as did three ferns and six tiny flowers. When you finally reached the bridge leading to the castle, you had a leaf sticking in your hair.

A delivery cart heading to the castle stopped to give you a lift, which you accepted only because the sooner you got there the sooner time would pass and thus the sooner dinner would arrive and you could get it over with, which is what you wanted most to cross off your list of to-do items today. When the cart arrived, you thanked the driver and magically unloaded his delivery of crates.

When you turned away to head towards Cedric’s tower, you found him headed toward you. Princess Sofia was trailing just behind him, smiling brightly. Her face was a contrast to Cedric’s, who looked greatly annoyed at his second shadow.

“Good afternoon, Princess Sofia, Cedric,” you greeted, putting away your wand. It was usually best to greet royalty and nobility first.

“Hello,” Sofia said cheerfully, waving at you.

“Good afternoon,” Cedric returned, his lips turning upwards in a smile despite his irritated glare at Sofia just a moment ago.

“Guess what,” Sofia chirped. She didn’t give you a chance to guess, though you would have been correct. Being that happy to see you after yesterday’s request… She continued and confirmed your fears, “Mom and Dad say you can join us for dinner! James and Amber are really looking forward to it!”

“Joy,” you replied softly, resisting the urge to just turn around and leave the kingdom. No, you were already set up and you didn’t want to have to deal with King Roland later on down the line in some awkward situation somewhere. Best to just face the music and get it over with…

Sofia cast several glances between you and Cedric before she giggled and curtsied in goodbye. “I will see you at dinner. Baileywick will come get you when it’s time.” She ran off, waving back to Cedric, “Be nice to her!”

Cedric flushed and muttered under his breath as he glared at the princess’s departing form. When she disappeared around a corner he coughed into a gloved hand and turned back to you. “How—“He coughed again, his blush increased in hue at the squeak of his voice. He cleared his throat and tried again, “How are you?”

“I am well,” you replied, mildly annoyed at the necessary pleasantries. When you had served your king such things were largely unnecessary as the mages and warlocks and lords were much too busy trying to kill each other to bother with social niceties. “How are you, Cedric?”

His smile widened as you said his name. He looked less tired when he did. “I am fine, (False Name).” He stood aside and gestured with his arm, “Shall we?”

You walked forward and Cedric matched your stride beside you. He explained, “I thought we might take a look at the hall where the feast and dance will be held.”

Your eyebrow quirked, “The two events will take place in the same hall?”

Cedric nodded as you entered the castle. He took a small lead and continued, “When the king declares the feasting done, it will be up to me to vanish the tables and chairs. Then we shall perform our spells and turn the hall into a marvellous golden spectacle!”

You clasped your hands behind your back, “Indeed.”

Baileywick turned a corner ahead and spotted you and Cedric. He addressed the sorcerer, “Ah, Cedric, there you are. I was just coming to get you. I need you to test the drapes, to make sure you will do it properly on the day of the feast.”

Cedric scowled and followed Baileywick. “That’s what I was going to do anyway.”

You followed the two men and came into a large hall. Baileywick lead Cedric over to a large window and half-turned to the thin man. “Now, Cedric, perform the enchantment I told you about earlier.”

Cedric pulled out his wand and glanced back at you. “Watch this, (False Name).”

Baileywick rolled his eyes and met your glance for a moment. You refrained from shrugging at the steward and watched Cedric, as per his request.

The sorcerer waved his wand, “Golderia waverous curtainium!”

Your eyes followed the glowing streak that left his wand and hit the drapes. Instantly a golden shimmer spread from the impact point and turned the drapes into glittering golden curtains.

After a moment of silent observation, Baileywick spoke up. “It’s very nice, Cedric, but not quite—“

“It’s a new wand,” Cedric protested, shaking it. He pointed it at his face, making both you and Baileywick glance at each other with ‘how is this man allowed to have a wand?’ looks before looking back at the inevitable accident waiting to—

Cedric yelped and quickly moved his head out of the way. A spell shot from the end of his wand, hit the window, reflected, and then struck Baileywick. Baileywick’s impeccable clothing immediately took on the effect of rippling, golden wheat. 

“Cedric!” he yelled.

“Not my fault,” Cedric denied instantly. “You were in the way.”

You tilted your head at the golden steward, “I see. _This_ is the look you wanted on the drapes, yes?” 

Baileywick sighed, “Yes, on the _drapes_.”

You pulled out your wand and pointed it at Baileywick, “Redire ad normalis.” Baileywick’s clothing returned to normal and you put your wand away as you nodded to Cedric, “Try again.”

Cedric frowned, slightly annoyed that you had fixed his mistake so easily and embarrassed that he had messed up in front of you. He grumbled a bit before turning to the drapes and casting his spell again. When nothing happened he made a move to look at his wand again.

“Don’t point your wand at your face,” you ordered. “Hold it steady.”

A half-second later a streak of magical energy shot out of it and hit the drapes. The golden glitter changed into a golden ripple. One could almost believe that they could step into the drapes and be in a field of golden wheat.

“Better,” Baileywick approved. He turned to Cedric, “Although next time, Cedric, don’t hit someone else with one of your wayward spells. And for the feast, whatever you are planning, I sincerely hope you get it right on the first try. Turn the drapes back to normal and be ready with this spell the day of the feast.” Baileywick turned to you and gave you a short bow. “Thank you for your assistance. I did not want to try to explain my new ‘attire’ to anyone. I hope Cedric will not give you too much trouble while you are here. And, of course, I will see you later for dinner.”

You watched as Baileywick turned and departed. Cedric muttered under his breath as he returned the drapes to their normal state. You folded your arms and regarded the thin man. “Does that sort of thing happen often?”

Cedric’s face burned and he refused to turn to face you. “I… I get nervous, okay?!”

“I can understand that,” you told him honestly, remembering your youth. You were silent for a moment before you added, “You’re quite lucky they don’t beat you for your failures.”

Cedric turned to you, thunderstruck, “ _What?_ ”

You had pulled out your wand and now that you had his attention you deftly twirled it with one hand. “If you ever get jealous of my power, or overhear someone who is, just remember Cedric, that my control was whipped and beaten into me. The smallest mistake was harshly punished, and self-preservation has made me what I am. But you, Cedric, no one beats you, no one whips you.

“You are lucky.”

Cedric’s shock turned to anger and he turned away sullenly. “No, I’m not. You don’t know what it’s like to face the disappointment of my father and the king every day. They have always told me since I was a lad that I’m the worst sorcerer the kingdom’s ever had.” Cedric suddenly blinked and looked off to the side, as though he had just suffered déjà vu. He shook his head and looked back at you, “Honestly, I think I would have preferred the beatings you endured, if it meant that I could be as powerful as you.”

You thought to yourself of a rhyme you had heard children singing a time or two. You grew up with sticks and stones, and Cedric grew up with words. Looking at him it was clear that the rhyme was wrong.

Words _do_ hurt.

“I saw you had quite a lot of books in your tower,” you said, changing the subject away from the woe-is-me competition the conversation had been becoming. You folded your hands behind your back. “Would you mind showing me?”

Cedric stared at you for a long moment before sighing. “Very well, let’s go.” When you reached the hallway Cedric grinned a little, his desperation to impress you returning with a vengeance. “Those books have served the Royal Sorcerers of Enchancia since the first of my line. They were my father’s, once, and someday…” Cedric turned red and looked off to the side, “Well, someday they’ll be… someone else’s,” he said glumly, clearly abandoning his attempt to say ‘my son’s’.

You suddenly realized why Cedric was still a Royal Sorcerer when his reputation of being awful was so wide-spread. “So your position is a legacy.”

Cedric’s scowl returned. “Well… yes.”

You nodded as you climbed the spiral staircase to his lair. “My position was a legacy as well. I inherited it from my grandmother.”

Cedric turned to you, interested, “Not from your mother?”

You shook your head as you came to a stop before his door. “My mother died before she could inherit the position herself. Not every woman of my line has gotten to be the Royal Sorceress. Some of us die young, or our mother is strong enough to hold on to her place for decades while we have daughters and die before it is our turn so we are skipped and our daughters inherit our rightful place.”

“Sounds a little complicated,” Cedric observed. He flipped up a stone gargoyle’s toe and retrieved a key. 

This was a move calculated to impress you, but you weren’t. In fact, you disapproved of a sorcerer so readily revealing the means of entering his place of power. Despite your disapproval you said nothing. Besides, it’s not as though you were going to show up in the dead of night and use this information to kill him in his sleep. Someone else, maybe…

Cedric unlocked the door and bade you enter. Wormwood cawed disdainfully at the intruder in the tower. Cedric hushed his familiar, “Hush, Wormy. (False Name) is a welcome guest in my tower.”

You ignored the dark bird and immediately went over to the shelves of books. Cedric came over and started naming the books and giving you a brief overview of its contents. He kept this up, even when you climbed the narrow ladder and pointed to each book while he stayed on the ground and continued his narration.

You liked it when people knew their books. It meant they didn’t have them just for show.

When Cedric pointed out a particularly interesting book, you pulled it from the shelf and returned to his level. He took the book from you and led you over to the table. He unceremoniously shoved aside the stuff on top and set the book down with a thump. Dust flew up and you wondered how he kept the dust from contaminating his work.

“You are interested in fungi?” the long-nosed man asked.

“Yes,” you answered. “There are so many, and some of them are so exotic-looking. Nearly every type can be used in potions, if only you know how.”

Cedric nodded. “I have studied this region’s flora and plant life for decades. I am actually quite knowledgeable on the subject.”

Well he would be, having grown up in the area. Any decent sorcerer should be, and shame on those who aren’t. You yourself had been quite educated in the identification and uses of the plants and fungi in your old kingdom. Although because you were now far away, you had to find substitutes for ingredients you could no longer find and this required a lot of experimentation. One of your favourite potions to have on hand was no longer available to you because three of the ingredients couldn’t be found in this part of the world. Maybe this book could help you. Hell, maybe even Cedric could.

With that sudden epiphany, you turned to Cedric who was standing quite near you while you had been looking at his book. “Cedric,” you started, “I am currently experimenting to find replacements for ingredients I can’t find in this part of the world. I need to find substitutes in order to make certain potions. You said you are knowledgeable on the subject. Will you help me?”

Cedric couldn’t believe it. The wonderful (False Name), asking _him_ for his help? He beamed, “Of course!”

A knock suddenly came at the door and it swung open a moment later, revealing Baileywick.

Although from Baileywick’s point of view, the door swung open to reveal Cedric and (False Name) standing much closer to each other than was necessary. He raised an eyebrow before announcing, “Dinner will be ready soon. Come along, (False Name). You are needed in the dining room in,” he looked at his pocket watch, “Three minutes.”

Cedric sighed in exasperation. “She’ll be there in a minute, Baileywick.”

“I actually don’t know the way,” you pointed out. You took a step away from Cedric, “I’d better go. Tomorrow, Cedric?”

Cedric brightened, “Yes, tomorrow.”

You nodded and left with Baileywick.

Cedric sighed, this time in pleasure, and twirled around in his tower. “Isn’t it a lovely day, Wormy?”

Wormwood rolled his eyes and shook his head. He had always hoped his master would be above such inane behaviour over a female, but apparently not.

__

**We cannot change our past. We can not change the fact that people act in a certain way. We can not change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.**

**~Charles R. Swindoll**


	4. Scratch Off the To-Do List (For Today)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello.
> 
> Here's the second update for today.
> 
> See you all tomorrow. :P

Baileywick made small conversation as he escorted you to dinner. “Cedric didn’t cause you too much trouble, I hope?”

You stared at the steward’s back, fully aware that he too was partly responsible for the way Cedric was. You made your tone neutral, “Not at all. He showed me his books and I found one I am very interested in. Cedric has…kindly agreed to help me with my potion making.”

Baileywick glanced back at you, surprised, “Really?” He turned his eyes forward again, “Well, do be sure to exercise caution. Cedric’s potions are known to be…unstable.”

You stared ahead with your hands clasped behind you back. “You speak so freely of his failures. Has he never had successes?”

Baileywick almost paused, but he regained his mental footing and continued walking. “I suppose you have a point, (False Name). Yes, Cedric has had his successes. Most notably was an invisibility potion he brewed a couple years ago for a magic show for King Magnus. He made Sofia’s pet rabbit disappear.”

You pursed your lips thoughtfully at that. You had been fishing for information and you caught a juicy one. Not just any sorcerer can brew an invisibility potion, although quite a few can. Thinking about it, it was more accurate to say that Cedric’s ability to brew an invisibility potion was revealing, _telling_ , of the potential within him. Truly second-rate sorcerers can’t brew something of the complexity of an invisibility potion. What skills were stunted and withered under his self-confidence issues, under his beaten spirit? If someone took the time to build him up, what might he become?

“Here we are,” Baileywick announced. He glanced at you and reached over to pluck something from your shoulder. He pulled his hand away and you saw it was a leaf. It disappeared into handkerchief, which in turn disappeared into Baileywick’s coat. With your appearance now satisfactory, he opened a door and entered the room ahead of you to announce your presence. “Your Majesties, I present (False Name) the Hero.”

“The Regretful,” you muttered under your breath. You entered the room and gave the royal family a short bow in recognition.

“Welcome,” Roland greeted as you took the open seat at the table. He gestured to the two blonde-haired children sitting across from you, “These are my children, James, Amber,” he gestured to Sofia who was sitting next to Amber, “And, as I’m sure you already know, Sofia.”

“Charmed,” you replied, though not as drily as you wanted to. One did not antagonize a king or queen if one valued their freedom and neck.

The boy, James, apparently couldn’t contain himself any longer. He burst out, “Have you really slain a kraken? And an evil dragon and a dark mage?”

His sister jumped in, “How many princesses have you saved? And is it true that you save _princes_?”

Sofia looked shocked at James’s words, “You’ve slain a dragon?” She was friends with a dragon!

You looked to the king and queen for help.

“Now children,” the queen said, “I know you’re excited to meet (False Name), but we must remember our manners. Don’t speak up all at once.”

“And we can talk further into the meal,” Roland added. “Right now dinner is just starting. There will be plenty of time to talk to (False Name).”

You hoped dinner wouldn’t be too long or include too many courses. Your king was sickly and could never eat much, so large, extensive meals have never sat well with you either, although that was more from habit than a true inability to keep food down. Still, a little indigestion is better than having to field questions that you would give honest answers to and leave most everyone around you feeling either awkward or offended. You politely took part in the meal set before you.

Sometime into the first course, James looked over to you, his eyes shining brightly. “Is it true then, (False Name)? Have you really slain evil creatures?”

You chewed your food in thoughtful silence, wondering how to phrase your answer when it would clearly upset Princess Sofia. You swallowed and spoke, “It is true, but only wicked creatures beyond any redemption.”

James looked impressed while Sofia prodded her food. You frowned and took a sip of your drink. There was no way to please everyone, but royalty tended to kick up more of a fuss if you displeased them. Royal parents also had a tendency to spoil their children, so upsetting them was not something you wanted to do, if only because it would make your life easier.

“What about the princesses you’ve saved?” asked Amber, changing the topic to something of interest to her, “Who is the prettiest princess you’ve ever saved?”

“All princesses are lovely, even if I have no preference to them,” you replied. You tilted your head slightly to the side, remembering, “Though if I had to choose the ‘prettiest princess’…” You gestured to the end of the table and on the floor beyond a girl appeared, ethereal in nature. She had bright red hair that tumbled down her back in curls and bright blue eyes framed by long eyelashes. Her pale skin was visible only on her face and hands, but it was flawless. She laughed silently and her smile was warm and bright. “Princess Aileana from the kingdom of Hi’lead is the prettiest princess I have ever saved.” You banished the laughing princess with another wave of your hand.

Amber nearly pouted, “She wasn’t even wearing a tiara.”

You set your utensils at a rest in order to reply. “The princesses of Hi’lead wear forehead tiaras, although I will admit that Princess Aileana preferred to go without hers.”

Amber touched her forehead, “They make tiaras like that?”

You conjured one in front of her, “Indeed they do.”

Amber gave a very un-princess-like squeal and grabbed the tiara from midair. “This is a forehead tiara? And it’s for me?”

You nodded, “If you like it.”

Amber squealed again, “Thank you! I love it!”

James, already tired of his sister’s monopolization of (False Name)’s time, broke in to ask excitedly, “Have you met the knights of faraway lands? What are they like?”

“You say knights, I say warriors of a given land,” you said to the young prince. “Some of them are much like the knights of Enchancia. They wear armor and wield swords and shields. Others are exotic and wear animal skins or kilts while wielding spears or axes. All of them have been strong, but none of them have yet bested me.”

“Does that mean you fight?” the blonde princess asked incredulously. She had passed her new tiara to a servant to be put away. “I had heard but I didn’t quite believe.”

Ah, ah, now you had to tread carefully. Some royal parents didn’t like it when you told their young princesses that women can fight just the same as men. You retreated into your food for a moment while you formulated an answer. After a moment you decided even if it got you in trouble, you weren’t going to dance around the subject for anyone, so you swallowed your food and replied, “When necessary, yes, princess, I do fight.”

James leaned forward, “Is it true you vanquished a dark mage in Veila?”

You folded your arms as the servants changed the dishes, replacing them with a different course. “Yes, prince, I did.”

James stared at you with wide eyes. “And is it true that your battle in the forest was visible from the town and castle?”

You tilted your head slightly as you remembered, “In part. Our magic blasted upwards to the sky in colors set against the night sky, but that’s all the people would have seen.”

Sofia frowned, “How could anyone use magic for evil things? Like Miss Nettle, she used to work at Royal Prep but now…”

You glanced at the king who also saw a need for a change in conversation topic. He cut in, “Tell me, (False Name), how far across the world have you traveled?” 

You thought about it. From your home kingdom to Enchancia… you answered him, “I would wager an estimate towards half of the world, Your Majesty. Mind you, I’ve only traveled these past two years, stopping for the winters that roll around.”

“I think it’s wonderful that you’re traveling,” the queen said, adding to the conversation. “You’ve helped so many people, and I imagine that when you continue your journey you’ll help many more.”

“Speaking of which,” Amber spoke, looking at you, “Where will you be heading when winter ends?”

“I do not know,” you replied honestly. “When the snow melts I will close my shop and be on my way. I will leave Dunwiddie and follow the road. I will go wherever my intuition takes me.”

The meal continued in silence for a few moments after that, allowing the courses to change once again.

Sofia picked up the conversation. “Miss (False Name), you said that you were traveling. Where is your home, and why did you leave to travel?”

Roland and the queen looked interested as well. You considered her question carefully. “My home was once by my king’s side, princess. Now that he is gone, I am without one. I travel because it was his last…wish.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Sofia apologized sincerely. “I didn’t mean to be insensitive or rude.”

You shook your head mildly. “There is nothing to apologize for, princess. I am not offended.”

Amber looked for a way to get the attention off Sofia’s faux pas. She latched onto one of your earlier comments, “You said that you have no preferences for princesses, (False Name). What do you mean?”

You turned your attention from Sofia to Amber. “I meant that my family has always served kings and since I was raised to serve a king, I favor princes and kings. I will, of course, extend my aid to all.”

“Surely there must have been a princess or queen among the monarchy you served,” Roland commented. “It seems highly unlikely that a lineage would go without female descendants.”

“Perhaps early on there were,” you conceded. “But somewhere during their existence the monarchy was cursed and females were erased from their bloodline forevermore. One father would beget one son, no more. Since this was so, you can imagine that there was tremendous pressure upon the Royal Sorceress to protect the King and Prince. We had to be very good at our jobs.”

“But your king died,” James said bluntly, to the horror of his parents. He continued, “So you couldn’t have been that good at your job, right?”

“ _James!_ ” the king and queen scolded.

You considered just standing and leaving, but that would just make the king send more messengers to your apothecary with apologies that would interrupt your work like yesterday. You also seriously considered cursing James with a death curse for stabbing you so deftly in your heart, but that would require you to then curse his family as they were sure to retaliate, and then you would have to deal with the far-reaching fallout… No, both options were unappealing. Instead, you grudgingly conceded to James, “No, I guess I wasn’t. Neither my potion skills nor my magic could cure my king of his illness.”

“I apologize for my son,” Roland said, staring his son into silence. “We mean you no offense, (False Name).”

You could tell them that your king had inherited an illness from his mother, that, despite the cumulative knowledge and might of your family’s inheritance, there was no curing him no matter what you did, but that would be an excuse, would _sound_ like an excuse, so you said nothing. After moment you quietly mused, “I suppose you don’t.”

And because Roland truly did not mean you offense, you would not curse his land, his rule, or his people.

When James came to the throne, though… the hurt he just inflicted, out of innocent ignorance or no, would be… _repaid._

With black bitterness and vengeance in your heart, you calmly asked the king, “If it does not bore you to answer, King Roland, may I ask how old Enchancia is?”

Relieved at the change of topic and that you seemed to bear no ill will, Roland answered, “It doesn’t bore me at all, (False Name). Enchancia is three-hundred-and-eighty-nine years old.”

You nodded, “So, then Enchancia will be celebrating its quadricentennial in your lifetime. You must be excited.”

Roland laughed, “That’s eleven years off, yet.”

You smiled slightly. “The years will roll by faster than you can imagine.”

The rest of the meal went quietly after that, with only conversation pertaining to the upcoming feast discussed over dessert. James was stared into silence by not only his parents but his twin as well. Sofia seemed subdued, but she perked up when you mentioned Cedric.

“Isn’t Mr. Cedric wonderful?” she asked you, smiling. The king and queen looked relieved at her return to normal. 

“Why yes, I suppose he is,” you agreed, making Roland raise his eyebrow and Amber to nearly choke on her cake. 

Sofia extolled the sorcerer. “Mr. Cedric has helped me out lots since I came to the castle. He was one of my first friends, you know. He’s a really great sorcerer! Sometimes he gets the spell wrong, but that’s only because he gets nervous. When he’s not nervous, though, his magic is really great. I mean, his magic is always really great, just that sometimes he’s really extra sensational!”

James and Amber were now casting weird glances at their sister. Cedric _had_ improved since she arrived, but right now Sofia was only setting up (False Name) to be disappointed…

You just nodded. “Yes, he told me that he does get nervous sometimes. I am interested in seeing him perform magic when he’s not. Right now, though, we’re focused on the upcoming feast.”

Sofia beamed, “Are you doing those enchantments you did yesterday when you were dancing with Mr. Cedric in his tower?”

This time Amber nearly choked on her drink while both of the king’s eyebrows shot up.

Well, _there_ was an incident you would rather have not had broadcasted in front of the royal family, but what was done was done. You nodded, “Yes, princess. Mind you, there’s a little extra to that. When the time arrives, hold one in your hand. You will be surprised.”

Sofia smiled, “Okay! I can hardly wait now!”

Dinner finally concluded and everyone stood. You bowed to Sofia, “Thank you for inviting me, Princess Sofia.” You turned to the twins and bowed to them. “It was a pleasure to meet you, prince, princess.” You turned to the king and queen and gave one final bow. “And thank you, Your Majesties, for allowing me to dine with the royal family.”

The placating lies tasted like ash in your mouth. This dinner was as unpleasant as most of these things turned out to be.

“Thank you for joining us,” Roland returned. “Again, I apologize for my son.”

You just nodded your head in acceptance.

Sofia unintentionally saved you from having to give a verbal reply. She smiled at you, asking, “Will you be working with Cedric again tomorrow?”

“Yes,” you answered. “We have a lot we want to discuss.”

Sofia’s happy smile took on an innocent edge of conspiracy. She wouldn’t be the first princess to try to set you up with her Royal Sorcerer, and you doubted she would be the last. Still, you made no mention of seeing right through her, and allowed Baileywick to escort you to a waiting carriage out front.

Once the open carriage was on its way, you sighed and let your head fall back, letting the tension drain out of you. By Vivien, you were glad that was over. Next time, though, you were going to fake sick. You might be able to get away with that excuse every once-in-a-while. After all, even magical people fell ill.

You opened your eyes and watched the sky overhead.

James would be king one day.

_One_ day, you bitterly vowed to yourself, fists clenched.

No one baldly points out your most catastrophic failure and lives a happy life.

_No one._

**While seeking revenge, dig two graves - one for yourself.**

**~Douglas Horton**


	5. A Worm on a Hook

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning.
> 
> Here's the first chapter of the day. The second will be posted this afternoon. :)
> 
> Thanks for the kudos!

You arose early the next morning and left the village to circle around it. As there were many obstacles in your way, such as large rocks and trees, it was not a true circle, but that was not the point. What you needed was a perimeter around the village, a setup of small, magical stones hidden on the ground that would alert you to any magical person or creature of dark alignment entering the circle. Your apothecary was in the general center of the circle and when the circle was complete, you would be aware of any evilly inclined magical persons or creatures who stepped within the area.

As you neared the completion of the circle, you spared a glance at the alert and danger stones in your hand, pebbles, really. They were completely unremarkable, as ordinary looking as any other rock. The only indication that they were special was the pull you could feel towards them. These stones were old, so very old, and not any of the recent generations of your family had cast their magic on them. You could go back to your great-great-great-grandmother and know that she wasn’t the one who had enchanted these stones. The record books that could have told you who casted the original spell were lost generations ago when the castle burned down while the current Royal Sorceress and King had been away at war.

It wasn’t the first or last time the castle was burnt down or destroyed, but the fact that your written family history had been lost irked you. It had also irked the Royal Sorceress of the age, and the lands of the attackers responsible had still been barren wastelands when you last saw them some seven years prior. Barren wastelands you were just as capable of inflicting anywhere, anytime, if you were so inclined.

Well, not ‘inclined’… Yesterday, after James’s remark, you had certainly been inclined, but before his death, your king had also given you a command to reign in your temper and to refrain from rashly killing people who annoyed you. He had gone on a long lecture about being civil and not making life hard for yourself by making yourself a notorious killer, and since he had given the command you were bound to obey, even now that he was dead. Only he himself or a true-blood heir could revoke or override his standing orders.

It had been one of the few times he actually gave you an _order_ , and it had occurred near his end.

You wanted to, but somehow you could not bring yourself to resent him.

A cool autumn breeze drifted through the trees as you stood there, getting lost in your memories. You remembered not the day he gave you the order, but a day when you had pondered your relationship with him as compared to the previous King and Royal Sorceress.

*-*-*

_“Why have they never cut down the forest, I wonder?” asked the king, sitting down on an ornate chair as he gazed at the forest beyond the village hugging the castle walls below._

_You sat in a chair across a small round table from him, the hood of your short cloak pulled over your head as it most often was. You set down your tea to answer him. “We Royal Sorceresses use the plants that grow in the forest for our potions and rituals. True, the past kings could have cut down the forest to reduce an enemy’s cover, but that would have required us to go further from the castle to gather our materials. As you know, the King of Tenebris is loath to have his Royal Sorceress away from him, and the further away, the more he hates it.”_

_The king sipped his tea quietly as he processed your answer. You glanced at him from the shadows of your hood and noted that he seemed thinner than last month. You pursed your lips and made a note to send your sorcerers and servants further out to find more potential cures and possible stopgaps. There had to be a way to beat his sickness and give him full health. Surely, your grandmother just hadn’t looked hard enough. He sighed, drawing you away from your line of thought._

_“It is true that I hate when you are away, but that started long before you were the Royal Sorceress.”_

_You stared at your teacup. Yes, once there was a time when hating the distance between you two had been a_ free choice _. Now, though, your ties to and most of your feelings for the king were the result of the ancient curses inherited to you both. You had a severe distaste towards the ancient impulses and feelings, especially those that served the king’s needs, but not every feeling or impulse was borne of ancient curses._

_Your_ like _of the king at this stage of your life, this legacy of being the Royal Sorceress, was a free choice. You didn’t love him, one of the curses made sure of that the instant he had stood crowned as King. You were desperate to stay near him, to protect him, but that impulse was yet another curse. But_ liking _your king…that was a sincere feeling with no strings attached._

_You know because your grandmother had_ hated _the old king with every fibre of her being._

_She told you while it was impossible to love him, it was at least possible to_ like _the King of Tenebris, but only if the king gave them a reason. Her king had never given her a reason to like him and every other reason to hate him. He had degraded her, treated her as less than human. He would start his commands like questions, as though she had a choice in the matter, but would change them to orders and often reminded her that she had no choice whatsoever. She had said it depended on the King whether his Royal Sorceress would like him or not._

_When the Royal Sorceress_ liked _her king there was a power available to her that otherwise wouldn’t be if she disliked him in any degree. That power was Amicus Regis, the King’s Friend. It was the power to potentially break one or more of the ancient curses on the Royal Sorceress of Tenebris._

_Naturally, the Kings of Tenebris were aware of this potential power and most went out of their way to make sure their Royal Sorceress despised them. Resentment for their fates made it hard for the Royal Sorceress to like the king in the first place, so when the king put effort into making her dislike him, into making her hate him, he usually didn’t have to try too hard to do so. The relationship between King and Royal Sorceress was a twisted and complicated one._

_However,_ your _king… your king had once been your prince, the boy with whom you had grown up. You didn’t grow up together like village children did, playing together and going to school together nearly every day. You grew up together by seeing each other sporadically and being fond of each other despite the distances and long absences. Your paltry control of magic fascinated him, long before you were the Royal Sorceress with centuries of magic at your command, and the frail, regally dressed, pale prince who enjoyed reading books intrigued you, even though you knew that he would eventually be the king who ruled over your life without contest. It was a doomed friendship from the start, but somehow, despite the activation of the ancient curses, a little piece of your friendship had been saved and kept to the present day._

_The king laughed softly. “You have that look again, (Name), of being far away in your mind. Might you come out of your thoughts and talk to me?”_

_He_ asked _._

_And that was why you liked him, why you could still feel like friends with him._

_You smiled, “Of course, Parvam. In regards to the forest, because it was not cut down, so that it would not_ be _cut down, one of my ancestors devised a way to detect an approaching enemy. Enchanted stones in a wide circle around the castle in the forest would alert us to an evil entity crossing into it….”_

*-*-*

A crow cawed loudly and another answered it back. You shook your head and continued on your walk, dropping the enchanted stones. This sensory circle had to go up before the fallen snow let people track your path around the village. That you had taken these stones from around the castle did not bother you in the slightest. There was no true-blood King of Tenebris to protect, therefore there was no need to abandon perfectly good enchanted stones when they could be of use to you elsewhere, such as right now.

Your trip had taken a better half of the day, so instead of returning to your shop you headed off to the castle, this time following the road while you conjured and ate a sandwich. Food rarely held appeal for you, but not even a sorceress could exist without nourishment. You had to make sure to eat several times daily because you weren’t going to get hungry until it was too late and you were falling over. That was an embarrassment you preferred to not experience a second time.

While you were still approaching the castle, you could see just past the archway at the end of the bridge. You squinted your eyes, staring. Then, just to make sure, you brought your magical monocle out from your robe and gazed through it, closing the distance for a clearer look.

Yes, that was Cedric waiting for you, a happy and nervous look on his face as he watched you approach. You noticed Princess Sofia talking to him and whatever she just said made him splutter and turn to look at her.

You put away your magical monocle and decided that, since winter had barely begun and you were already settled in, you would be civil to Cedric and not crush his feelings outright. Near the end of winter, if he still hadn’t gotten the subtle message or forced your hand early, you would make it clear that you were _not interested_. You had finally decided to have children, sure, but nowhere in your plans was there a besotted sorcerer hanging around you.

Although, now that it crossed your mind, a besotted sorcerer could very well be an ‘in’ at whichever castle he lived. Maybe even several besotted sorcerers, all of whom were putty in your hands. Yes, a potent love potion would be easy for you to brew, easy to administer and then your targets would be your slaves, moles in their own kingdoms, happily handing over information to you…

“You look happy,” Princess Sofia greeted when you finally arrived.

You shook your head to clear your thoughts of evil plans. You addressed her, “Good afternoon, Princess Sofia. I was merely…ruminating on something.”

“Good afternoon, (False Name),” Cedric greeted, bowing deeply.

“Cedric,” you acknowledged, wondering when the last time was you had received such a deep bow. You think it was from a father in Tangu, after you had saved his son from dying due to an illness. In fact, the little village had been badly struck and more than one parent bowed to you after you had administered the cure. It had taken you weeks to catch up to the dark mage spreading that particular illness to children. She was nothing more than a stone statue now, broken after you had blasted her to make doubly sure no one could revive her.

“Cedric has been waiting out here since mid-morning,” Sofia helpfully informed you, unintentionally disrupting your thoughts.

“ _Sofia_ ,” Cedric protested loudly, blushing. He cleared his throat as she giggled. “Well, (False Name), shall we go to my tower?”

“Can I come?” Sofia asked. “I want to see what you two are working on.”

Cedric looked put out, as though he wanted nothing less. You, on the other hand, had no real objections. If anything, her presence might help curb Cedric’s obvious crush on you. “I don’t mind.”

Sofia clasped her hands and looked up at Cedric with wide eyes, “Please, Mr. Cedric?”

Cedric sighed in defeat. “You might as well. You will anyway.”

Sofia cheered and led the way back to the tower. You digested Cedric’s comments and deduced that the young princess often invaded his workshop. As a member of the royal family, you could see her getting what she wants, even if she had to go to the king to get it. You imagined Cedric would much rather avoid having to deal with the king. Although, despite not knowing Sofia that well, you doubted she would do something like pull that sort of trick on Cedric. She quite obviously adored the sorcerer.

“How was your morning?” asked Cedric, trying to make conversation.

“Productive,” you replied, thinking of the sensory circle around your winter base. You asked, “And yours?”

“Oh, productive as well,” Cedric lied nervously through his teeth. Sofia had recently told you he spent half the morning waiting for you so you highly doubted that he had been productive. Still, you didn’t shove it in his face and settled for nodding.

“Mom and Dad scolded James,” Sofia informed you. “They said he shouldn’t be so tactless and ought to remember his manners better. They said he should apologize to you.”

“He is just a child with room to grow,” you said, deceptively dismissing his insult. “They are right, of course, if he is to be the future king. Should he be so tactless in negotiations or the like he could very well start a war.”

Sofia looked at you in worry as you ascended the tower staircase. She stopped on a step and you did as well when you drew level with her eyes. She asked, “You wouldn’t, would you, Miss (False Name)?”

You shook your head. “I would not start a war with King James, princess.” You would send a curse that struck him down from his throne or from life, or even a plague to hit his people or his crops, but nothing that would be noticeably traceable back to you, and therefore you would not start a war. King James might, if he rightly suspected foul play, but not you, not openly.

Out here in the southern kingdoms, you weren’t going to be the way you used to be, striking your enemies openly and smiting down those who opposed or insulted you. No, your king wanted you to ‘live peacefully unless pressed’, so you weren’t going to go around painting targets on yourself while being your normally unbearably haughty self. It was going to be humility and deflection with revenge a long ways down the metaphorical road, like with James, and that princess in Veila, and Princess Aileana’s elder brother in Hi’lead.

Sofia sighed in relief, oblivious to the bloodthirsty wolf in sheep’s clothing before her. “Okay then. Thank you.” She turned and finished climbing the stairs.

Cedric glanced at you, asking quietly, “Would you?”

He didn’t know what to make of the peculiar smile that spread across your face as you answered softly, “Of course not.” You wouldn’t openly start a war.

However, you’d certainly finish it.

“I’ve got the door,” Sofia announced, grabbing the key from the gargoyle’s toe.

You raised an eyebrow at Cedric who grinned back sheepishly, “Umm, lucky guess?”

Sofia opened the door and put the key back in its hiding spot.

As you entered the tower, you realized—

“Hey! It’s a whole lot cleaner than it usually is!”

You nodded as Sofia loudly announced the same realization as you. You grinned wryly when Cedric squirmed as Sofia continued, “Wow, Mr. Cedric. You must really like Miss (False Name) if you cleaned up your tower for her visit.”

“Sofia,” Cedric hissed much too loudly for someone trying to not get your attention, “Please stop talking!”

“Kaw kaw kaw,” Wormwood laughed at his master’s embarrassment. He had tried to tell the thin man that trying to impress the female with a clean nest wouldn’t work. If his master was really interested in courting and mating the female then he had to demonstrate his intelligence and provide food for her on a consistent basis. That was how ravens did it and it should be more than enough for humans too.

You spared a glance at the raven and briefly missed the owl that once stood on your shoulder.

Pushing the fleeting memory away, you noted that Cedric hadn’t removed the book on fungi off his desk. You went over to it but stopped midway, snapping your fingers as you realized, “That’s right. I should have brought my notes with me. Sorry,” you apologized to Cedric. You scratched the side of your face, “I should have thought of that before coming here.”

Cedric forgave your lack of preparation instantly, waving it off, “No problem. You can bring them next time, or whenever you remember.”

You eyed him warily. True he wasn’t strong enough to hurt you, but if he was hiding a dagger in his cloak and got close enough he could possibly cut you to berate your unpreparedness. He probably wouldn’t, since he wasn’t your grandfather or the old king, but you could never be too wary. It wouldn’t be the first time someone pulled you in with that sort of deception and it might not be the last if you were unwary.

Cedric, completely unaware that you were suspicious of him, went over to his desk and the book. “I have quite a lot of materials we can experiment with, (False Name). You see, when winter draws near, I stock up on a great many ingredients from the gardens and the forest. The less I have to purchase, the happier King Roland is,” he glared dourly at wall behind his desk, “as he has ‘better things’ to spend gold on than ingredients for a sorcerer who’s always getting his potions wrong.”

Sofia pouted, “You don’t _always_ get your potions wrong!”

Cedric sighed, “I know, but as far as your father is concerned, Sofia, I’m just a bumbling sorcerer. If he could, he would have gotten rid of me years ago.”

You frowned as Sofia tried to cheer Cedric up. Cedric was a pity-party person. That was vastly unattractive and annoying, but given that most of his life seemed to contain mostly failures… You would normally put such a person out of their misery, but again your king’s orders came to mind, and you put your hand on Cedric’s shoulder. “Don’t dwell on your failures, Cedric. Remember your successes and draw upon those as the basis of what you want to be.

“You are braver and stronger than you believe, and more talented than you know. Do you think just any sorcerer can brew an invisibility potion?”

Sofia hopped in place, “That’s right, Mr. Cedric! And you’ve done more great things than just an invisibility potion. Remember when you helped me pass my magic test and that time you came to Royal Prep? You’re a great teacher, too!”

Cedric was thunderstruck and hadn’t heard a word Sofia just said. (False Name), the most famous sorceress and hero these past two years, was _encouraging_ him? _Him_ , Cedric of Enchancia, the joke of a Royal Sorcerer across the southern kingdoms? He blinked rapidly, “I…”

You watched as Cedric straightened his posture. “I suppose you’re right. Yes, it’s not just any sorcerer who can brew an invisibility potion, is it? I _can_ do things if I just put my mind to it!”

Sofia cheered, “That’s right!”

Cedric turned to you. “I know you don’t have your notes or anything with you, but would you like to go over things from memory? Perhaps you could identify one of the ingredients you can’t find around here and list its properties and effects in a particular potion?”

So he really wasn’t completely useless or witless. You smiled slightly, “Very well. Let’s start with the simplest potion I need to make, a healing potion for severe burns.”

Cedric stared, “ _That’s_ the simplest potion you want to make?”

You shrugged your shoulder. “I’ve been traveling for nearly three years with two winters behind me. I’ve done quite a lot of experimentations on my own.”

“I see,” Cedric mused.

Sofia looked from you to Cedric and then back again. “What are you talking about? Is that what you’re working on?”

“Indeed, princess,” you answered. “I am looking to find replacements for potion ingredients because some of what I used to use are not available in this part of the world.”

“I have agreed to help (False Name) with her experiments as I am well-versed in the flora around these parts,” Cedric continued. He glanced nervously at you from the corner of his eyes. “I-I suspect we shall be seeing more of each other over the winter…?”

His confidence was slipping again. You didn’t really want to play nanny to the flailing man but working with him technically would save you quite a lot of time. You nodded, “If you will have me.”

You realized instantly that you should have phrased that differently. Sofia giggled madly into her hands while Cedric turned red. Even Wormwood from his perch gave you a look.

You coughed quietly into your hand. “I mean, if it will not bother you too much, Cedric.”

The purple-robed man pulled himself together. He replied firmly, “Of course not. I am… looking forward to working with you, (False Name). I have other duties to attend to, of course, but when I am free I would like nothing more than to spend ti—help you. I would like nothing more than to help you in your experimentation.”

You resisted the urge to raise your eyebrows. He had been going to say he was looking forward to spending time with you before backtracking and changing his words. It wasn’t the smoothest transition.

The way Sofia’s giggles renewed let Cedric know she thought as much too, child or no. He frowned at her, “Are you really going to stick around and listen to us talk about fungi and plants?”

Sofia stifled her giggles and lowered her hands, still smiling. “I think it would be interesting to listen to you two talk. I might learn a lot, too.”

Cedric sighed, momentarily defeated by her enthusiasm. “It’s probably going to be very boring.”

Sofia put her hands behind her back and smiled up at him. “I don’t mind.”

Cedric looked at you for help. You just stared back and he realized he wasn’t going to be getting any help from you in removing the princess from his workshop. He sighed again, “Well, let’s get started then. (False Name), if you would begin?”

***

A series of knocks at the door pulled both you and Cedric from your discussion of the mushrooms on the current page of the book. You both looked around and realized Sofia was long gone. The door opened and Baileywick stood there.

“Good evening, (False Name),” the steward greeted kindly. Less kindly, he added, “Cedric.”

The sorcerer glared at him, “Baileywick. What is it?”

“I would like to remind you both that the feast is tomorrow.” Baileywick pulled out a pocket watch and looked at it. “As it is getting quite late, I have arranged for a carriage to take (False Name) back to the village.” He clicked it shut and returned it to his coat. “King Roland doesn’t want her to be tired tomorrow.”

You almost snorted in derision. As though you would be tried from one long night. After several long nights, definitely, but one? That was barely worth noting.

Cedric frowned and glanced out his window. The sky was indeed turning from dusk to night… He reluctantly turned to you. “I suppose we should call it a night for today.”

You nodded in agreement, more to maintain your façade of politeness than anything else. “Very well, Cedric. I will see you again tomorrow.” You stood and grinned wryly at him. “I think you will be quite sick of me before winter’s end.”

Cedric stood and stared at you, answering fervently, “Never.”

Baileywick observed all this with a raised eyebrow. He schooled his expression and stood to the side to allow you to pass. 

Once outside the tower, Baileywick took the lead to the carriage. He commented, “I recall that you said Cedric would be helping you with your potions. Do you have any idea how often you will be visiting him?”

You clasped your hand behind your back as you considered his question. “I believe twice a week will suffice, preferably on days separated by other days. I would like to consult Cedric on his knowledge of the ingredients in Enchancia and work with him when the occasion calls for it. If possible, on a separate third day, I would like Cedric to come to my apothecary to work there. Of course, as a Royal Sorcerer, I understand that he is a busy man and we will have to rearrange our tentative schedule often.”

“Indeed,” Baileywick replied. “Cedric may not be the best but we do require his services often. However, as you are a distinguished guest in the kingdom, I’m fairly certain the king wouldn’t mind trying to accommodate a schedule to allow you and Cedric to work together.”

“That…I would be grateful,” you said. Really, if you didn’t have to figure out a schedule then that would save you more time for your studies. 

You arrived at the carriage. Baileywick turned to you. “I will discuss it with His Majesty and let you know what is decided.”

You nodded, “Thank you, Baileywick.”

You climbed into the carriage and Baileywick looked up at you. “We are looking forward to your joint performance with Cedric tomorrow. A carriage will fetch you early in the afternoon so you will arrive before villagers do. Cedric will be waiting to meet you when you arrive.”

“Very well,” you said in understanding. You lifted your hand in goodbye, “Until tomorrow, Baileywick.”

The steward nodded at you and the carriage jolted into movement. He watched you leave for a moment, before turning and heading back into the castle.

Based solely on the news and stories that had been conveyed to him about you, King Roland wanted you to permanently settle in Enchancia, or at the very least to enjoy your winter stay in his kingdom enough to consider coming again a second time. If using Cedric meant they could achieve either of those goals then so be it.

Now to let that bumbling sorcerer know what they expected of him.

***

Later that night you lied in bed and wondered if they had dropped the shoe on Cedric yet. You rolled over and sighed in slight irritation. Why did people think dangling a sorcerer in front of you was a good idea?

You weren’t a fish, damn it.

**The best part about being alone is that you really don't have to answer to anybody. You do what you want.**

**~Justin Timberlake**


	6. Nibbling the Worm, Avoiding the Hook

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Close enough to 'afternoon' for me. o 3o
> 
> See you again tomorrow. I'm already working on Chapter 13. :D

Jade and Ruby burst into your shop not ten seconds after you unlocked the front door. You were only partway across the floor back to your counter when they threw open the door and ran in, chanting that today was the day. Staring at the far wall, you wondered if these two somehow had internal clocks labeled ‘The Door is Unlocked, Let’s Go Bother the Sorceress’. You stood there as the two little girls skipped around you, almost _singing_ about the feast today. People in the southern kingdoms seemed to break out into choreographed song rather often. You hoped they wouldn’t.

They didn’t, though just barely.

“I can hardly wait for this evening,” Jade breathed excitedly when she finally let you return to the safety of behind the counter. She sat at the counter and leaned her arms across it as she stared up at you. “What are you going to wear?”

You stared at her for a moment before gesturing to yourself, “This.”

Ruby shook her head, “Oh no, you can’t! You’ve been wearing that every day!”

“I clean it,” you informed the girls, removing some vials off the counter just in case they accidently knocked any down.

“This is a feast, a celebration,” Ruby insisted. “You can’t wear the same thing to a celebration that you wear every normal day!”

“Ruby’s right,” Jade pitched in, “You’re a guest. You should wear something special! We are.”

You glared at them. Why did it matter? Okay, back in Tenebris that’s what you did, but why bother with it out here? You shook your head, “I’m not just a guest, girls. I am also performing with Cedric. I’m fine with what I’m wearing. End of story,” you added firmly when they opened their mouths.

They pouted and deflated, their arms spread across the counter as they sulked.

They stayed like that for a couple minutes, mercifully silent, before Jade spoke up to ask a question.

“What did you think of Cedric?”

Ruby perked up, “Oh yeah, you said you were going to meet him that one afternoon, right? What happened?”

You dearly wished they would have passed into a catatonic state instead of recovering from their disappointment. The corner of your lips twitched before you answered. “Cedric is a mildly interesting man. As for what happened, we have decided to work together in order to figure out some of my potion-related problems.”

Ruby tilted her head, her hands on her cheeks. “So, you _kind of_ like Cedric?”

Jade tilted her head the other way, “Or do you _really not_ like Cedric?”

You stared at them, randomly holding a jar of ground frog skins, and seriously considered putting up a new sign that said ‘No Children Permitted’.

They leaned closer, “Well?”

You shrugged, deciding to try to make things clear in case… _when_ they blabbed your answer to anyone who would listen. “I kind of like Cedric, I suppose. _However_ ,” you said insistently, holding up your index finger, “When I say that I mean that we’ve only just met and he hasn’t given me a reason to dislike him yet. Also, do _not_ go around making up stories about us, okay?”

Jade pouted, “But it would be soooo romantic. The sorcerer and the sorceress, falling in love and getting married and living in Enchancia forever!”

Ruby oohed, “That would be wonderful!”

You held up a hand, “Stop. No, that is not happening. Ever.”

They grinned at you, “You never know.”

Yes, a wonderfully large sign that proclaims: ‘No Children, EVER’. You scowled, “Don’t you two have to go get ready for the feast or something?”

Ruby giggled. “I don’t need _that_ much time to get ready.”

Jade smiled, “Me neither. Our moms probably do, but not us.”

The door opened and for a brief and shining moment you thought you were going to be saved from more inane little-girl chatter.

And then a little witch walked in.

“Lucinda,” the two girls at your counter greeted brightly.

“Ruby, Jade,” the girl, Lucinda, returned happily. She lost the uncertain look she had had on her face a moment ago and walked right in after closing the door behind her. “I didn’t expect to see you two here. I thought it would be scary coming in here, but if you two are here then I guess not.”

“Nah,” Jade said, waving her hand at you, “(False Name) is nice.”

The word ‘nice’ echoed in your head as you resisted the urge to dig your fingernails into the countertop.

“Yeah,” Ruby agreed, “She lets us in whenever we come by.”

This was all your own fault. Yessir, you should have just put your foot down that first day when it was just Jade that you had to deal with. If you had made yourself unapproachable to the children then you wouldn’t have them hanging around you right now, pestering you in your apothecary, asking you for ingredients—what?

You looked at Lucinda, “Say again?”

Lucinda looked up from a piece of parchment she had in her hands. “Oh, um, sorry,” she apologized. She looked down at the paper and asked, “Do you have ground frog skin and… can I get four gold coins worth?”

Jade wrinkled her nose. “That’s really gross, Lucinda.”

Lucinda smiled sheepishly. “Mom and I might be good witches now but we still need things to brew potions with.”

You let the three girls chatter as you measured out four gold coins worth. You told the girls to not talk to while you did, stating that you needed to concentrate, but in all actuality, you were just doling out a random amount while enjoying the fact that they weren’t talking to you for the moment. If anyone ever accused you of changing the quantities you handed out, and someone usually did, you would just blithely answer back that the price was subject to change. In reality you just gave out what you felt like at the moment and this sometimes resulted in screwing someone over. If anyone ever tried to raise a fuss, a little forgetful spell smoothed things over quite well.

Although once it took a big forgetful spell cast on a whole bunch of people…

You would be fair today though, since witch moms could be annoying. Usually not anything you had trouble with, but keeping them from starting trouble at all was preferable. It could get seriously irritating trying to hex a flying nuisance of a witch. Thus, you were mostly fair with the ingredients Lucinda asked for.

Ruby and Jade watched you with interest as you walked around your shop, pulling jars and bottles and vials down from different shelves. To them you looked every inch the capable sorceress and were summarily impressed. Lucinda, on the other hand, looked at you with polite interest rather than stark admiration.

She looked around your shop as you screwed the last jar closed as you finished filling her order. The little witch nodded appreciatively, “I like your apothecary.”

“Thank you,” you replied without feeling. 

You missed your gardens and towers and the bridge at the top floor that connected the two towers together. One filled with books and your bedroom and the other filled with ingredients, and cauldrons, and vials, and all manner of sorcerer’s instruments. When you left, your enchanted carpetbags let you haul around many things using little space and a shrinking spell allowed you to haul around even more but even then, there were limits. This apothecary was depressing in comparison to your old towers.

Jade and Ruby looked at Lucinda, impressed. “You can actually properly say the name of her shop?”

Ruby swung her legs from the stool. “We gave up trying to pronounce it.”

Lucinda smiled at them. “It just takes practice.”

Practice you hoped they wouldn’t try in your shop. By Vivien, you could almost hear them now, butchering the word over and over while you eyed your wand and wondered if anyone would blame you for their disappearance…

Lucinda got up on a stool in front of her purchases and carefully put away each item in her pack as she counted out the gold for it. When everything was packed away, she buttoned her bag closed and smiled at you, “Thank you very much! Mom wasn’t sure what your prices were, or if you would even have what she wanted, but I’m so glad you did. She just heard of your shop yesterday and tried to come over but you were closed.”

“Yes, my hours are rather erratic,” you admitted, sitting on a stool behind the counter. “The apothecary is open only whenever I feel like it.” You tilted your head and glanced up off to the side as you thought about it, “Which isn’t that often, really.” You shrugged and looked back at the young witch, suddenly remembering the bone a random villager once picked with you, “Oh, right. Thank you for your patronage, young Lucinda.”

Lucinda smiled. “I think I’ll come here again, especially if mom likes the quality of your ingredients.” She looked at her friends and her smile widened a bit. “Besides, if you’re nice to Jade and Ruby then you’re probably a good person.”

The two girls mock-pouted and asked what she meant by that while you stared over their heads and tried to stop the words ‘good person’ from echoing in your head.

You were _far_ from a good person.

*-*-*

_King Mendax summoned you the day after you received your legacy._

_The day after your grandmother passed away, fallen in battle far away from you, old and alone and eaten alive._

_In addition to the family magic, you had received your grandmother’s memories. You were standing before the king, but you could still feel the teeth of the Blood Wolves tearing into her/your belly and it made your eyes water, both from your own misery and hers. Why did she die alone and so far away from home? If she couldn’t live forever, then why couldn’t she have at least died at home, safe in bed with you nearby so she wouldn’t be alone? It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right, it wasn’t—_

_Your tears angered King Mendax. He tried to hit you with a pain curse but it fizzled out before reaching you. He laughed unkindly, saying he should have forbidden your grandmother from giving that sort of protection from magic to anyone but himself. Parvam was exempt because he needed magic to help him through the days, but if he had been well, then as Prince of Tenebris he would have received the same magical protection that your grandmother had given the King of Tenebris. He transformed his own wand into a staff and beat you with it, saying that you shouldn’t have the same magical protections as the King. You cried more tears on the cold marble floor of the throne room and he vowed to beat the tears out of you._

_And he did._

_With the combined efforts of old King Mendax and your grandfather, they beat the tears out of you and hammered cruelty and mercilessness and magical control into you instead. For every mercy or moment of hesitation you showed, they did something to you: a whipping to the back or shoulders, knife cuts to your arms or legs, burns to your unprotected flesh or your head held underwater… You could not fight and could only watch as they brought their punishments upon you because King Mendax had_ ordered _your compliance and submission. You let go of your humanity for the sake of self-preservation and grew hard and cold._

_Your hands grew bloody, both by your own actions and by the extension of the orders you gave your enslaved sorcerers. Your soul became destined for hell just as your grandmother’s soul had been and her mother’s soul before her. Your mother’s soul was probably in hell too, given the means she had left the world in order to avoid becoming the next Royal Sorceress. Just being born in your family was almost a guaranteed one-way ticket to hell as you came to learn._

_Prince Parvam could barely comprehend your transformation. You used to take such delight in getting the simplest of spells right, in talking to him about books or the weather or flowers, but from the day you were made the Royal Sorceress you changed. Your magical might was the cumulated result of generations of Royal Sorceresses but you took no joy in your magic, not even in shows for him. The day he ascended to King, he gave you one of the few orders he ever gave in his lifetime._

__“(Name), tell me why you changed so much since the day you were made Royal Sorceress. I know you grieved for your grandmother, but what else transpired? What happened to the girl who transformed dead leaves into butterflies and laughed to see them?” __

_You told him, and he wept._

_The cruelty of the world, of his own father, of your own grandfather, made him sick. He wanted to change Tenebris, to change the continent of Umbra. It had always been his dream and now that he was King, he had a chance._

_He asked for your forgiveness, because in order to create a paradise a monster was needed to carve out the place for it. That monster would be you, you and your sorcerers as a pack of beasts directed by his will in rooting out the rot and darkness that plagued Tenebris and Umbra. It was paradoxical that there would be so much blood shed in order to even begin creating a peaceful land, but he thought that was the only way because the other dark mages and beasts would never listen to his reasoning._

_He asked for your forgiveness and for your help._

_You gave him your help, but you never told him whether you forgave him or not._

*-*-*

Old King Mendax forged you into a weapon and, though it went against his nature, King Parvam wielded you in order to try to make his dreams come true. He asked, certainly, but it was still only the illusion of choice. Just because you liked it didn’t make it real. You knew that, had known that, but you had appreciated the illusion of choice anyway. And besides, there was a time or two when you said no and Parvam hadn’t pressed the—

Wait, shite, you got completely lost in your thoughts again. You went from thinking how you were far from a good person to meandering through your memories and now you were blinking like an idiot at the three girls in your shop.

“What?”

Ruby piped up, “We asked if you were okay. You really spaced out on us there. We were getting worried.”

“Ah,” you said. You shrugged, “The next time that happens, try to get my attention and drag me out of my thoughts before I stay there too long. Otherwise, I start getting weird thoughts and get lost in my head for a long while. It’s not a good habit and it’s one I don’t notice until it’s too late, so helping out isn’t a bad thing.”

“Oh, okay,” Jade said.

“Okay,” Ruby echoed.

“Sure,” Lucinda agreed, looking a little uncomfortable now.

You stared over their heads for a moment before looking back at them. “What time is it?”

“Nearing lunch time,” Lucinda answered. She turned to leave, “I have to go. See you later, and thanks for the service.”

Jade and Ruby bade her goodbye while you set about returning the jars on the counter to their rightful places on the shelves.

Ruby looked at you in concern. “Will you be okay, Miss (False Name)?”

You glanced at her, “Hm? Oh, yes, I will be. Don’t worry about it.”

She stared at you uncertainly, as though she didn’t believe you, but she didn’t press the issue.

Jade swung her legs as she turned on the stool to face you. “Are you sure you don’t want to wear anything special to the feast? You don’t want to make an impression on people who haven’t seen you yet?”

That…was actually a valid point. You didn’t particularly care about the villagers’ opinions but you missed having people in awe of you on a large scale. Maybe this feast could boost your ego. 

You turned to her, “You have a point. I will wear something different.”

The two girls brightened up and leaned forward, “What are you going to wear?”

You finished putting the things away on the shelves and turned to them. “You will just have to wait and see. Now, off with you. I will need time to get ready before the carriage comes to pick me up.”

They pouted but got down from the stools. They left, pestering you to pick something pretty and not just your same outfit in a different color. You semi-politely waved them off and shut the door as quickly as you could without slamming it in their bright faces. You flipped the sign to ‘Closed’ and headed upstairs to your bedroom.

You hadn’t worn _that_ in over a year.

***

The carriage pulled up to the castle and, true to Baileywick’s word, there was Cedric waiting for you. He stepped forward and helped you down from the carriage despite the fact that you could get down by yourself just fine. Today, since you were wearing a long, heavy cloak and something special under it, you took great care to not step on your clothing.

“Good afternoon, (False Name),” Cedric greeted as your feet made contact with solid ground. He looked upset for a moment before forcing himself to smile. “Well, the day of the feast is finally here. We should wait in my…in a waiting room for Baileywick or a servant to fetch us.”

Ah, they had dropped the shoe on Cedric.

You nodded and followed Cedric up into the castle. You stared at his thin back and wondered how they had delivered the order. Did they coerce him into it? Well, he was a Royal Sorcerer, and he didn’t seem to have a backbone where the king was concerned, so yes, they probably told him what to do and that they expected him to do it, and he went along with it because he can’t exactly disobey the king. You pulled your cloak around you a little tighter and entered a large waiting room when Cedric stopped and held open a door for you.

Cedric entered the room after you and stood at the entrance, his hands slightly fidgeting. “May I take your cloak?”

You glanced back at him and nodded. Reaching out of your cloak, you unhooked the button and let Cedric help you out of it. You didn’t have eyes in the back of your head so you missed the moment Cedric’s jaw dropped.

You were wearing a full-length, loose fitting, black gown with angel sleeves. It clasped around your neck and, though he couldn’t see it since your back was turned to him, had a gathered bodice. However, had this been the extent of your gown he would only have been surprised instead of dumbstruck, but it was not.

For there on the entirety of your gown shimmered and twinkled the night sky, complete with shooting stars.

You turned to him and he saw that the effect extended to the front as well. In fact, at the moment he was torn between staring at your dress and staring at the exposed strip of skin peeking out from a slit just below your neck.

“(False Name), y-you look positively ravishing.”

“Thank you,” you returned to the completely transparent sorcerer, feeling just the slightest bit smug. If you wanted to, it wouldn’t take much to make Cedric fall completely head over heels for you. Hell, the way he was looking at you right now, you probably wouldn’t even need a potion to do it.

Cedric saw you smile and thought it was because you enjoyed his compliment.

The sorcerer led you to a seat and the two of you conversed about the nearing feast and dance. You noticed how often his eyes darted downwards and suppressed the urge to curse him. While you really, _really_ did not like receiving lustful looks or advances, you liked making a scene in your new life even less. Cursing Cedric would only cause a rain of troubles, even if his king didn’t like him very much.

Although it wasn’t much better when he was looking at your face... he kept getting a dopey look, as though he couldn’t believe he was really talking to you or that you really were in front of him. You were by no means an expert, but Cedric’s face and body language all but screamed he was ripe for the picking, ripe for taking advantage of and pulling the wool over his besotted eyes.

You had to remind yourself that you weren’t there to steal a sorcerer’s heart. If, and when, you went down that route you would use a potent love potion to be sure of its effects and longevity. Real love was much too complicated to fool around with…

The door opened and a maid stepped in. She briefly eyed the Royal Sorcerer and famous sorceress sitting close together and looking for all the world as though her arrival had just interrupted a fine conversation between them before giving them a short bow. “Beggin’ your pardon, Mis’er Cedric and Miss (False N’me), but Baileywick says it’s time.”

Cedric turned his eyes from her to you but you caught the maid’s hungry glance at the two of you as she departed. Bullocks, more seeds for rumors have probably been sowed by this… You turned your gaze to Cedric as he started speaking.

“Well, we should go.” Cedric stood and offered you his hand.

For a moment you debated not taking it, but offending Cedric wasn’t something you were eager to do, but only because his knowledge of the local flora might save you a lot of time and energy in the end. It was best to keep him dangling, to keep him hoping. If he wanted to wrap himself around your little finger then who were you to stop him from making a fool of himself?

Cedric’s smile widened as you took his hand and stood. He shifted your hand to his arm and the two of you were off to cast a golden evening.

**People will never forget how you made them feel.**

**~Maya Angelou**


	7. Golden Memories, Bitter Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the morning chapter. You'll get another one this afternoon whenever I remember it.
> 
> Also, no updates over the weekend, so after this afternoon's update, they will continue again Monday morning.

A thought occurred to you as Cedric led you through the halls of the castle and you spoke it, “Cedric, I will be casting silver flowers during the feast.”

The sorcerer stopped, startled, and looked at you. “What are you talking about? We have already decided on what we’ll be doing this evening. Silver flowers weren’t discussed or even practiced!”

You shrugged with one shoulder, managing to make the motion look graceful. “It just occurred to me. You’ll be casting golden butterflies during the feast but I won’t be doing anything. I am here to perform _with_ you, Cedric. If I don’t cast a spell to compliment yours then what is the point of performing together?”

Cedric frowned. “Well, I suppose you have a point…” He smiled slightly at you, trying to flatter you, “And since you are a great sorceress, you can perform the spell without having practiced it, right?”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes and reply acidly to his question. Instead, you nodded, “Of course. I have used it before on several occasions.” 

Parvam had enjoyed having them around when he was too sick to get out of bed.

Satisfied that this unexpected adjustment of the plan was settled, Cedric continued walking. He led you to where the villagers would be eating. He opened one of the two doors while you opened the other and he led you through. You resisted the urge to tense at the sight of everyone turning to look at your entrance. You saw quite a few of them do a double take at the sight of your dress and you smirked slightly under the stares of admiration and astonishment, looking to your audience as though you were smiling.

Although, thinking about it, maybe some of the astonishment from the villagers was due more to the fact that Cedric, well known for his incompetence, was escorting the famous sorceress (False Name) ‘the Hero’.

You resisted the urge to scowl darkly at the thought of being named ‘the Hero’ without your consent. As Cedric spoke to the audience, you quickly thought back to all the times you introduced yourself and concluded that you had indeed introduced yourself as ‘the Regretful’. As it was something you chose yourself you would have preferred to be known as such, not as something someone else decided to call you.

Cedric waved his wand, “Goldenia butterflyis!”

The villagers oohed as the golden butterflies flitted around the hall trailing golden sparkles behind them.

You took your cue and intoned, “Lunae flores florent auratas!”

All through the hall silver flowers bloomed in midair, glowing softly like moonlight. Some of the golden butterflies either landed on them or fluttered around the magical flowers. The villagers clapped at the display, as did the royal family who were also in attendance.

Cedric thanked the audience as you wandered through your thoughts, not caring enough about the feast to be all there mentally during it. In fact, you simply bowed and gave a fake smile when Cedric belatedly introduced you, your mind off on a tangent on fungi and wondering if it was too late to find any this late in the fall. As Cedric led you over to a table and seat, you were deciding on an exploration of the forest the first chance you got. Thinking about it, you surmised that it would probably be the day after tomorrow. Tomorrow would perhaps be filled with another afternoon of Cedric, but the day after you would be sure to keep open in order to go out looking for whatever fungi and vegetation that might still be out. You had stored quite a lot over the summer, but it never hurt to have more. After all, for potion making there was never enough ingredients to do all you—

“—get that dress?”

You turned your head to Amber, finally registering that she was speaking to you. You didn’t like repeating yourself, and you hated asked others to do it, so you deflected, asking mildly: “This old thing?”

Amber rolled her eyes, somehow managing to make it look elegant, “Yes, although it certainly doesn’t look old.” She eyed you critically and amended, “A little old-fashioned, yes…” She shook her golden head and repeated herself, “Where did you get it?”

You supressed a frown and answered, “I got it from my grandmother. It was hers, once. She gave it to me for my birthday before I could even fit it because I loved it.”

A quick glance at the table and hall revealed that you had been operating automatically without registering what you had been doing or saying. Everyone was already eating, including Cedric beside you. In fact, there was a spoon in your hands right now and a half-consumed bowl of soup in front of you. Happy laughter and chatter filled the hall, although Cedric looked as though he would rather be anywhere else.

A dangerous habit, indeed. Perhaps you had undersold your fault to the girls earlier…

Amber looked surprised. “You’d wear something your _grandmother_ wore?”

Roland and Miranda cast glances at their daughter but continued their conversation a few seats away.

You smiled wryly and without humor. “The official outfit of the Royal Sorceress is a uniform passed down through all the generations of my family. When I wear it, I look the same as the very first sorceress who served the first king.”

Amber look horrified, “So it can be completely out of fashion and you can’t change it?”

You nodded, “Yes. It’s very impractical too, even for a sorcerer. I’m lucky that there were rarely occasions that called for wearing it, and now that the king is gone, I don’t have to wear it for anything unless I want to. Which I don’t, really,” you admitted. That ridiculous outfit, with the tiara, dress and long train, and sceptre. You looked like royalty when you were only a sorcerer…

“I think that sounds interesting,” Sofia put in. She smiled at you as you looked at her. “An outfit passed down through the generations, full of history and stories… Kind of like a wedding dress!”

You grasped at the chance to shift the focus from you. “Will you be wearing your mother’s wedding dress when you marry, Princess Sofia?”

Sofia giggled brightly. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe,” she admitted, looking over to the queen. “Hey, mom, when I get married, can I wear your wedding dress?”

The queen smiled at her, “Of course you can, Sofia, if you want to. Which one did you have in mind?”

Ah, yes, she’s been married twice, once to a villager and once to King Roland.

Sofia tilted her head, thinking about it. “Um…”

Miranda smiled at her as she struggled to choose one. “Well, there’s no rush to decide. Marriage for you is quite a long ways off.”

“I should say so,” Roland put in, chuckling. “I don’t want to be giving away either of my girls any time soon.”

“Oh, father,” Amber waved off her father’s trepidation. She set down her spoon and a dreamy look spread across her face. “When I get married, it will be the greatest wedding Enchancia has ever seen!”

She started on a long story about her perfect wedding day while you and Cedric made eye contact. You both silently agreed that you’d rather be in his tower than here listening to the princess blather on about her far off wedding day.

Then again, he might have been trying to tell you that this was what he had to put up with, and he wasn’t looking forward to Amber’s wedding day because he’d probably be put in charge of the enchantments and he didn’t want to have to deal with an angry bride if his spells went awry, which they probably would. For all your magic, you couldn’t read minds, and Cedric could have been thinking about that tiny, nearly invisible stain on the arm of his robe for all you knew.

Sofia was caught trying to seem interested in Amber’s reverie, and she actually did seem to be honestly interested in the details of her sister’s future wedding. Miranda looked indulgent while Roland was looking as though he dearly wished Amber’s wedding day would never come and that she’d remain his little girl forever. Oddly enough, Baileywick seemed to share the king’s sentiment. Another glance at Cedric informed you that the sorcerer was now bored out of his mind.

The sorcerer caught you looking and brightened slightly, “Are you enjoying your meal, (False Name)?”

You hadn’t actually tasted much of it. You lowered your voice, “I rarely enjoy food.”

Across from you, Sofia glanced at you from the corner of her eye before returning her full attention to Amber who was now ignoring her food in favor of weaving her tale of perfect beauty and romance.

Cedric looked surprised and glanced around the table, worried someone else might have heard your confession, which could be considered very rude. He let out a low, strangled, “Oh.”

At that moment, James, on his other side, leaned over and caught your gaze. His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to say something. His nerve seemed to abandon him and the prince broke off his gaze and sat back in his seat. You noticed that Roland and Miranda glanced in his direction and, feeling that they might glance in your direction, you turned your gaze off to side.

Ruby caught your eye from another table and the girl waved happily at you. You waved back and she beamed, turning and speaking to her mother. You supressed a sigh and idly wondered what kind of poison you could have slipped into the food in order to decimate the population.

You continued entertaining thoughts of rampant, senseless murder while you ate, looking perfectly normal on the surface to anyone who looked at you, leaving them unaware that an amoral sorceress was among them, bored and held back only by an ambiguous order from a dead king.

***

After the feasting was done for the most part, Roland stood and addressed the villagers, thanking them for their hard work. Everyone else at the head table stood and the villagers took the cue and stood as well. With a spell and a wave of his wand, Cedric banished the food and tables, leaving only a couple alongside the wall for liquid refreshments. He turned to you and bowed, giving you the floor.

You gave a slight curtsey in acknowledgment and turned to the gathered villagers. You held your wand aloft, saying loudly, “Aurea bullis considerandam agro felix memorias!”

Golden bubbles quickly spewed from the end of your wand and filled the hall in short order. When you were done, you theatrically held out your hand for one to land on it. You saw a long forgotten memory, one where your mother picked tomatoes and put them in a basket you were holding. She smiled at you, and the memory faded. You smiled widely, dramatically and insincerely, and gracefully flicked your wrist, letting the bubble float away. Sofia immediately followed suit, as did Jade, Ruby, and a few other brave souls. Soon they were smiling and turning to others with happy smiles. The hall— _ballroom_ , you corrected yourself—quickly filled with laughter and surprised cries.

“What a wonderful spell,” Miranda exclaimed, letting go of a bubble as you turned to her. She smiled at you, “I could almost feel the warm sunlight of that day.”

Sofia turned to her mother and asked what she saw and if her mother saw the same thing she did. The two fell into a cheerful chatter while Amber looked perplexed and asked her father why they hadn’t gone berry picking together again and also why they had gone in the first place when they had servants for that sort of thing. James was talking to Baileywick and you caught Cedric’s eye. By silent mutual agreement you both moved off from the royal family, walking away to hopefully hide in the shadows near the walls.

The two of you had barely turned to face the crowd of people when several children gravitated towards you and Cedric, led by Ruby and Jade.

“Oh, no,” you muttered under your breath.

Cedric heard you and assumed it was because there were children approaching, not yet realizing that Sofia’s village friends had made acquaintances with you and were acting upon that. The situation soon became clear to him as Jade and Ruby opened their mouths as they closed the distance.

“Miss (False Name), you look really pretty,” Ruby gushed, wearing a frilly dress and new ribbons.

“Your dress is so awesome,” Jade added, also wearing a different dress. She glanced from you to Cedric and back again, grinning, “Aren’t you glad you didn’t wear the same old thing?”

Admittedly, yes, but you weren’t going to tell her that. You deflected, “You girls look very nice yourselves.”

They held their dresses to the side, Ruby piping up, “Thanks! My mom made this for me.”

“Mine too,” Jade said cheerfully. She blinked as though she remembered something and suddenly clapped her hands, looking brightly up at you. “Oh, Miss (False Name), can you show us some magic?”

Ruby squealed and clapped her hands too, “Oh, would you?”

Your lips twitched but you consented to their request without so much as a glance at Cedric. “Cup your hands together,” you ordered the gathered ankle-biters. Once the children had cupped their hands together, you lifted and waved your wand, invoking, “In vestris manibus tenent stellae.”

The children gave loud cries of amazement as each gained a miniature galaxy to spin in their hands. They each held a part of the night sky in their hands and gazed in wide-eyed wonder and a little fear.

You doubted that they would know exactly what it was in their hands so you told them. “Children, you hold in your hands galaxies, millions of stars, each a part of the night sky above.”

Jade and Ruby were immediately enthused and squealed over the enchantment, their excitement dragging along the other children.

“Mine is round!”

“It spins!”

“I have one with two tails!”

“This one matches her dress!”

“Mine is oval!”

“I have two!”

The children all turned to the boy who yelled the last one and they huddled around, peering into his hands. There in his palms, two galaxies were crashing together.

One broke off, calling back, “I’m going to go show my mom!”

Several others dashed off too, saying the something similar. Jade and Ruby stuck around, turning to you wide happy smiles.

“This is really cool,” Ruby gushed, still holding her spinning spiral galaxy.

“Super cool,” Jade agreed. She smiled down at her round galaxy, “I never thought I’d hold a part of the night sky in my hands.”

You nodded absently. “If you want to break the enchantment, all you have to do is break apart your palms, like letting go of something.”

Jade held hers up close to her face. “It’s so pretty. I hate to let it go.”

You lifted your wand and pointed it at her galaxy, “Continent in se vitream pilam.”

Jade gasped in surprise as her galaxy suddenly became enclosed in a glass ball that fit in her palm. She clasped her hands around it and stared at it for a moment, briefly hypnotized, before she suddenly turned a beaming face to you. “Thank you so much, Miss (False Name)! It’s beautiful! I love it!”

Jade’s happy cries attracted a few turned heads. Ruby hopped over and held her galaxy out, “Can you do that to mine, too?

You did, and soon the others were clamoring for the same thing. You cast the spell over all of them and soon they all held a glass ball full of stars, including those who had wandered off earlier. The children scattered to show off their new treasure, including Jade and Ruby who called back that they would return.

“I hope not,” you muttered, loud enough only for Cedric to hear.

“That was…generous of you,” Cedric said slowly. He stared at you from the corner of his eyes, “I have never seen someone conjure up parts of the night sky and give them out to children so freely before. For children, we sorcerers usually conjure things like candies, toys, or animals.”

You tapped your wand against your palm in mild annoyance. “I always forget that. I am so used to trying to hypnotize, impress, and or enthrall others.” When you weren’t trying to kill, torture, or maim them, anyway. You glanced sideways at him. “Still, they were happy, and that is that main point is it not?”

Cedric nodded slowly. “Yes…as long as the villagers are happy, King Roland should be pleased.”

You could almost hear him add ‘ _But the king will probably point out that it wasn’t me who did it, and I’m the royal sorcerer, not you._ ’ You turned your gaze back to the crowd of people in the hall. 

Sofia emerged from the sea of bodies and made a beeline for Cedric. She smiled at both of you, coming to a stop before the sorcerer. “Good evening, Miss (False Name), Mister Cedric.”

You bowed slightly to her while Cedric gave a verbal greeting, “Good evening, Princess Sofia.”

Sofia smiled at you. “You were the one who gave out those glass balls with stars in them, right? Jade told me.” 

You wondered why she bothered to ask you then, if someone had already told her. Asking for an answer you already know is just a waste of time. You resisted the urge to scold her, reminding yourself that being brusque with royalty was _highly_ looked down on, even if said royalty was royalty through marriage rather than birth.

She continued, “All the kids who got one are really happy. Some of the others will probably come ask for one.” She looked thoughtful, “Although they were saying that they’d be waiting for Ruby or Jade to come back to you before they came over…” She giggled, “I guess they’re nervous about asking you for one. I heard that the ones who were here first weren’t even going to come up to you until Ruby and Jade started told them you were nice and came over to you to prove it. And you are nice! Miss (False Name), I’m glad you came to Enchancia for the winter.”

The word ‘nice’ echoed in your head unpleasantly. You did not want to be _nice_. _Nice_ got you whipped and burned and beaten and tricked and conned. It took more mental energy than you cared to admit to not snarl at the purple-clad princess and curse everyone just to make a point of it.

Cedric, who had been looking annoyed by the princess’s praise for you, twitched slightly as she turned to him with a smile, saying brightly, “And you’ve been great tonight, too, Mr. Cedric! The curtains look really nice, and I really like the golden butterflies.” She looked back at the golden butterflies that were still flitting around. The silver flowers were still hanging around too. She turned back to you and Cedric, smiling. “I think you two work really well together.”

You could see right through her like she was a clear glass window. Why did people insist on trying to match you with the nearest sorcerer? If you could get married without having your spouse die in two days, you would be very tempted to do so just to stop these irritating attempts to nudge you towards a man.

Cedric looked pleased by the princess’s observation. “Thank you, Princess Sofia.”

The young princess smiled and said goodbye before disappearing back into the crowd. You looked and noted that some people had begun to dance to music while others continued looking into one bubble after another, particularly the older folks. Yes, getting lost in memories was a real danger for the golden bubbles. Even you, back when you first learned it, had fallen victim to the lure of the past, greedily viewing memory after memory of your grandmother, of the best times when she wasn’t cross or impatient with you…

“Here they come again,” Cedric warned under his breath. 

You looked up and saw Jade and Ruby heading back towards you, leading more children. You replied dryly, “Joy.”

Several other children had indeed come begging for glass ball galaxies of their own, which you gave with utmost reluctance hidden just below the thin surface of your bored expression.

“She’s scary,” you heard one whisper to another who nodded in reply.

Ruby apparently heard as well, turning to exclaim, “No she’s not! She only _looks_ stern and scary.” The dark-hair girl turned to you, smiling, “But Jade and I know that she’s really nice underneath. She lets us visit her shop and stay and talk. Not many other grownups would do that, even non-magical ones.”

That damned _word_!

It was your own fault. You just _had_ to stick your noses into others’ business and help people and now you were known as a, a _hero_. Your lips twitched and you reminded yourself that it was better to be thought of as a hero than to be known as what you truly were. If that got out then it would just become more difficult to obey King Parvam’s orders.

Oh, oh, wait, a few of the other children were getting looks on their faces like they might try to follow Jade and Ruby’s annoying footsteps. You tapped your wand against your palm, “Just the two of you, though. Any more and there would be a risk of damaging my merchandise and I would have to banish all children from my shop.”

You wanted to stab yourself when you realized you had just let an opportunity to get rid of Jade and Ruby go. Maybe a stab was too extreme…still, you wanted to inflict some sort of pain upon yourself for entrenching Jade and Ruby’s presence in your shop when you had had a potential way to get rid of them for good.

The other children looked disappointed while Jade and Ruby beamed up at you. Cedric was staring at you as though he hadn’t heard you right. You wanted to leave and pack up your shop and find a little hut in the middle of nowhere with no children or people around. Perhaps that is something you would try next winter.

“Cedric, (False Name),” Roland called, approaching with his wife on his arm.

“Your Majesty,” Cedric bowed nervously, immediately shrinking into himself.

“Your Majesty,” you echoed with a nod of your head.

“Your Majesty,” the children bowed and curtseyed. They smiled at him and most of them scattered off nervously, leaving Jade, Ruby, and a few of the braver souls.

“I must say, the evening is going rather well,” Roland said, seemingly slightly surprised. He stared at Cedric, “Baileywick tells me that you performed the enchantment on the drapes today perfectly on your first try. The golden butterflies are also a nice touch. Well done,” he praised the sorcerer.

“Th-thank you, Your Majesty,” Cedric stuttered, straightening his posture slightly.

Roland turned his attention to you, smiling, “The bubbles are wonderful, (False Name). I had forgotten all about that day I went apple picking with my sister Tilly.” He looked between you and Cedric. “Everyone looks so happy and you both had a hand in that. Thank you.”

“Not at all,” you deflected.

“There is no need to be so modest,” Miranda spoke kindly.

“If the two of you have a spare moment, please feel free to share a dance,” Roland offered. He smiled, “After all, (False Name) is also a guest, and you are her escort, Cedric.”

Cedric sputtered something while you wondered how you got saddled with a date. Then, just as quickly, you dismissed that line of thought as irrelevant and bow your head in goodbye as Roland and Miranda left to mingle with other guests.

Ruby and Jade glanced at each other and grinned widely. Jade clasped her hands behind her back, “Well, I’m going to go look for my parents.”

“Me too,” Ruby added. She looked meaningfully at the others, “I think we _all_ have someone to go look for.”

One boy looked perplexed and started, “But I—“

He was cut off by Jade grabbing his hand and running off. She called back, “See you later, Miss (False Name).”

Ruby held out her arms and shooed everyone else away, grinning back at you, “You should take King Roland’s advice and enjoy a dance or two.”

Jade added from further away, rather loudly, “Or three!”

You and Cedric watched as the children dispersed. You were slightly annoyed by their meddling and Cedric suddenly couldn’t look you in the eye, turning his gaze to the far side of the ballroom while he stood beside you fidgeting.

“We will probably never hear the end of it if we don’t share at least one dance,” you pointed out mildly. You added, “Although we probably won’t even if we do.”

“You’re probably right,” Cedric muttered, all too able to vividly imagine Roland and Baileywick lecturing him on not being a good escort for such an important guest, yet also able to imagine them pressuring him into being nicer to you. He cleared his throat but didn’t say anything, apparently lacking the confidence to ask you to dance.

You stood there, making a mental list of the pros and cons of being famous. It was still too early to make a final conclusion but so far being well known was more con than pro. Here you were, less than a week into your winter settlement, and the annoyances of being famous were beginning to pile up. Perhaps you would take another moniker soon, or simply vanish from the public eye for a year or so. Actually, since you were going to have a child, you might as well take the vanishing route.

That decided, you turned to Cedric and asked, “Do I have to put another dancing spell on you?”

Cedric turned red and actually squeaked. He coughed and straightened his posture as he put his wand away. You tucked yours up one of your angel sleeves and turned to him. The thin sorcerer held out his hand and asked, “May I have this dance, (False Name)?”

You took his hand, “You may.”

From another part of the ballroom, Jade, Ruby, and Sofia giggled into their hands, watching everything.

Neither you nor Cedric were eager to go to the center of the ballroom, so you remained closer to the wall as you danced a waltz. Cedric’s hands trembled where he touched you, but his gloves kept his nervous sweat from touching your hand and dress. He held one of your hands and your other held your dress. As you danced in your little area, stars shot across your dress and the galaxies there glittered brightly.

You mentally prepared a list of what to bring to Cedric’s tower tomorrow to continue your quest for ingredient replacements.

Cedric, meanwhile, couldn’t wipe the smile off his face if he tried.

***

Later that night Roland declared the evening over and carriages were taking everyone home. The villagers had helped each other arrive at the castle, and now they were helping each other get home. Your ride had been arranged by the king and thus you had a carriage to yourself. Cedric stood with you while you waited for your ride home to arrive at the castle stairs where everyone was departing.

The sky overhead was clear and beyond the lights of the castle, you could dimly see the stars. You wondered if any of the children who received a glass ball would look up and wonder which part of the sky you gave them. Then you dismissed that train of thought and brought yourself back to the present moment.

Cedric nervously shuffled his feet. “(False Name), will you…will you still be coming back to my tower tomorrow to continue our, uh…collaboration?”

You pondered that for a moment. _Was_ it a collaboration or something else by definition? You closed your eyes and answered, “Would you prefer the day after tomorrow, or some other day entirely? I am sure you must be getting tired of me.” 

It had only been a few days so far but the feeling would be mutual. Too much of Cedric was beginning to get on your nerves. He was too eager to please and flatter you, although his desperation made it worse than the others who had tried before him. You could ask him to make you his bride and you were fairly certain that he would literally be the happiest man in the world if you did.

“Not at all,” Cedric said emphatically, affirming your thoughts. 

With an annoyed start, you realized that you had been repeating yourself in saying variations of that and making Cedric repeat himself in his reply. You hated repetition because that meant you weren’t paying attention and when you didn’t pay attention, you got hurt.

A peaceful life made you dull, it seemed.

“Then tomorrow,” you said, making the sorcerer perk up. You drew your cloak closer against the chill of the night air and murmured, “I will remember my notes this time.”

“It’s fine if you forget,” Cedric replied generously.

But it wasn’t alright to forget.

You had the burn scars to prove it.

“…There’s my carriage,” you said, nodding at the last one in the queue. Jade and Ruby had vanished long ago, no doubt well on their way to their own beds in the village they have lived in for most, if not all, of their young lives.

“Ah,” Cedric uttered disappointedly. After a moment of hesitation, he offered you his arm once more, “May I?”

You stared at his arm and suddenly your limbs and eyelids felt heavy even though you had been awake for only one day. One long day of dealing with peaceful fools living in a perfect dreamland, where no one got hurt and few knew what it was to be adrift day in and day out… An irrational anger bubbled up and you reached out to slap his arm away before you changed your intention at the last moment, grasping his arm instead.

If you were adrift then you just had to find a destination and set sail for it. No one was going to save you but yourself.

Cedric carefully led you down the stairs as your carriage drove up. When it came to a stop, he was the one to help you into it instead of the coachman. He closed the door as you took a seat and he smiled warmly at you. “I will see you tomorrow, (False Name).”

_Not if I die in my sleep,_ you thought instantly, remembering you had once said something similar to your baby before she died. You nodded at him, revealing nothing of your unexpected melancholy, “Goodnight, Cedric.”

Cedric stepped back and the coach jolted gently into movement.

Once Cedric was out of sight, you frowned, knowing you weren’t going to be sleeping tonight, not after that abrupt reminder. Certainly, the sorcerer hadn’t meant to drag up such a depressing memory, but he had and now you were going to be awake all night, trying to—

Your frown deepened slightly as you stared at the opposite seat of the carriage, remembering something.

You had forgotten to cancel out the golden bubbles and silver flowers before you left.

“Ah.”

**Discipline is remembering what you want.**

**~David Campbell**


	8. The Volume of Body Language

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo. Here's today's second update.
> 
> See you all on Monday. :)

You didn’t sleep that night. Instead, after removing and carefully putting away your enchanted gown, you spent the long hours working on the delicate potion that had been interrupted days ago by the king’s messenger, plus two others that required strict concentration. You were pleased when you bottled the completed potions into their small glass bottles for future sale. Now anyone looking for a cure for poor eyesight would have it, and anyone looking for either dreamless sleep or sweet dreams would be satisfied as well. When you were done with the three different potions, it was still dark outside.

You considered locking up building with the usual protective spells and taking a vial of dreamless sleep for yourself but decided against it. Your memories were not tormenting you enough to seek an easy escape just yet. Drumming your fingers against the table in the backroom of your shop, you wondered what to do next.

An idea came to you and you went to the main room where you opened a drawer and pulled out parchment, ink, and a writing quill. As the hours slowly ticked away, you sat at your counter and made a list of potions you needed ingredients for and a separate list of the missing ingredients and their effects in various potions. In this way, you passed the rest of the early morning hours and wrote well into the full sunrise of the day.

You were in the middle of a sentence when your stomach growled, derailing your work rhythm. Eating food was a tedious necessity and the need for it came much too often for your liking. Again, however, you would rather take the time to eat than suffer the embarrassment of fainting due to a simple lack of nutrition. You pulled out a spare wand and summoned a sandwich, your preferred choice of food because it allowed you to still do other things. You glanced around the shop, noted the light streaming in from the windows, and with a flick of your wrist, all the candles still lit were extinguished.

While you were absently eating your conjured sandwich, a knock came at the door. You lifted your head and stared at the door across the room, your sandwich hanging from your mouth. The knock came again and you stood, crossing the room while continuing to eat your sandwich. Taking your time, you chewed and swallowed before casting the spell that would unlock the door. You stuffed your sandwich back into your mouth as you opened the door.

The same royal messenger from before was there. He blinked at the sight of the sandwich hanging from your mouth but made no comment on it. Instead, he went straight to business, “Good morning, Miss (False Name). King Roland II would like you to come to the castle today in order to remove the enchantments you performed last night. They are still in the ballroom and the royal sorcerer, Cedric, has proven unable to remove them.”

You took hold of your sandwich, and chewed and swallowed the bit in your mouth before eloquently replying, “Ah.”

The messenger stood there and stared as you took another bite and slowly chewed while standing in the doorway. After a long moment where you continued chewing, he opened his mouth to talk but you swallowed your food and cut him off, “I will be there later today. The enchantments are harmless…” You glanced off to the side, “Mostly.”

The messenger refrained from fidgeting at your words and calmly asked, “Shall I have the carriage wait for you?”

You stared at him with your nearly finished sandwich in one hand while your other hand lazily held the door open. He wasn’t overly anxious so that probably meant no one was fused to a golden bubble…yet. What was the rush to get you up there? Probably just a need to have everything clean and in order…butlers could be obsessive like that.

“I’ll be out in fifteen, maybe twenty minutes,” you finally decided, stuffing the last of your sandwich into your mouth as you closed the door in his face.

You gathered your notes and newly made lists and put them in your satchel. You looked over your appearance and made a mental note to buy hair ribbons sometime soon as your hair was long enough to need to be tied back out of your face. It had been for some time now, actually, though you hadn’t bothered to do anything about it. Perhaps you’d ask Ruby where she got her hair ribbons.

You paused for a moment, instantly mentally visualizing Ruby’s face when you asked her where to shop for hair ribbons. No. You’d wander the streets for weeks before descending to the level of asking a child where she got her hair accessories. Besides, it was probably her mother who bought them for her.

When you finally left your shop and locked it behind you, sixteen minutes had elapsed. You hadn’t rushed to get ready, oh no. Rushing was for emergencies or fights and this summons did not qualify as either one. You boarded the carriage and sat down, appearing to be very bored to the messenger.

As the carriage made its way to the castle, you let your mind wander just a little bit as you stared unseeingly at the passing scenery. However, before it got very far, you suddenly clamped down on it and focused on what you were doing. Right now, you were sitting in a carriage on your way to a castle to work with the sorcerer there. You had your notes and newly made lists and you were going to make some progress on them. After you vanished your enchantments from last night, anyway.

Yes, you were going to stay in this present moment and not let your mind wander off because who knew when it would decide to come back and who knew what it was going to drag you through if you gave it free reign. Rather than getting lost in your thoughts, your time was better served on other matters, such as the current project with Cedric.

The carriage eventually came to a stop and the messenger disembarked first to open the door for you. He led you into the castle and you followed, making sure that you had indeed remembered the way and that the incomplete mental map of the castle in your head was at least correct on that matter. Given enough time and enough tours, you could create an entire map without the use of ink, save for things like secret passageways and the like. The messenger opened the door to the ballroom where your enchantments were indeed still floating around.

Cedric was standing in the middle of the room and was, by the way he was gesturing with his wand, obviously vexed. The messenger left you to the sorcerer and you approached Cedric, his back turned to you.

“How can I not banish these flowers and bubbles? This is ridiculous! I _know_ I’m fairly good at vanishing spells! What sort of conjuring skills does she have for these things to be resistant to vanishing?”

“Cedric–“

“Eek!”

You stared at the thin sorcerer, deadpan, as he jumped, startled, and spun to face you. He squeaked and coughed into his hand, pulling himself together. “(F-False Name), h-how long have you been here?”

“Long enough to gather that you are frustrated with my spells,” you replied drily.

Cedric flushed. “I, well… they are difficult to vanish. How is it that they can resist being vanished?”

You brought out your spare wand. “Cedric, if my spells could be vanished by another sorcerer so easily then I would have little use for them. I need my spells to be resistant to vanishing, teleporting, and transforming, at least to some degree. Few things are as irritating as having my spells interfered with, especially at crucial moments. Mind you, a significantly powerful magic-user can interfere with my spells.”

Cedric looked crestfallen that he didn’t qualify as ‘significantly powerful’.

You added, “I quite dislike such interlopers. I get rather…angry…at them.”

To say the least.

You spoke true when you said few things were as irritating as having your spells interfered with. You usually got quite cross at such powerful magic users, angry with them for just existing and then having the utter gall to interfere or meddle with your magic. You were partial to killing such individuals at the first given opportunity. You didn’t care if they existed the moment before they interfered, but the instant they did they landed themselves on your Kill List. A rather short list, considering that you were mostly successful in killing the people listed there.

Cedric looked conflicted for a moment, as though he wasn’t sure he should be happy about that or not. He shook his head and gestured at the silver flowers and golden bubbles. “Do you mind? The King requested their removal and Baileywick has been breathing down my neck about it since last night.”

You paused, completely distracted from your vanishing spell as you turned your head to look at him. “You haven’t been awake all night, have you?”

Cedric shook his head, “Not all of it. I gave up around two or three in the morning. I only woke up a short while ago because Baileywick went up to my tower to get me. I guess he sent for you after that.”

It took you just over a quarter of an hour to get ready to leave your apothecary. That, plus the time it took to get here by carriage and the time it took the carriage to get to your shop in the first place… ‘A short while’ was apparently relative. For you, a short while was half that time, maybe less. Still, no need to bring it up for discussion or anything. You merely nodded.

You brought up your spare wand again and flicked it twice, once for each enchantment. “ _Vertibile est in nihilum._ ”

The silver flowers and golden bubbles vanished and left behind silver and golden glimmers that quickly disappeared. You stowed your spare wand in your sleeve and commented, “Well, that is that done.”

Cedric resisted the urge to groan. Seriously, it took you less than seven seconds to vanish something he had spent hours on! What was with your brand of magic? Was it different from his or was he really just _that_ incompetent? What was it you had said, vertabile ist in nihillum? No, that doesn’t sound quite right...

“Ah, thank you, (False Name),” Baileywick said, observing the clear ballroom upon his arrival. “Cedric couldn’t clear them out on his own.”

“It was not Cedric’s fault, but mine,” you stated, because it was. You tilted your head slightly, “My apologies, Baileywick. I shall endeavour to not forget such details again.”

To Cedric and Baileywick it seemed as though you were covering for Cedric’s deficiencies. Cedric was torn between feeling happy and being irritated because you of all people were standing up for him, while Baileywick was under the impression that you were trying to protect Cedric. You were not covering for Cedric in the slightest. You had forgotten, thus it was your fault, not Cedric’s for not being able to vanish your enchantments. You were certain that they would not physically punish you for it so you had little qualms in admitting your lapse of memory.

Then again, you should not have forgotten in the first place.

Peace was deadly. It was making you increasingly dull. The few things you had done which had earned you such fame in the southern kingdoms were laughable in comparison as to what you did in Tenebris and across Umbra. In Tenebris and across Umbra there had been endless conflicts in which to involve yourself, either willingly or by necessity or command. Your few adventures in the southern kingdoms were not enough to keep you sharp. You had to remember that and correct it somehow. You did not want to die for some stupid reason like a moment’s inattentiveness.

“Thank you,” Baileywick replied graciously. He glanced between you and Cedric. “Now, I have some news from the king. He says that you two may work together uninterrupted on Tuesdays and Saturdays, barring emergencies and holidays. Of course, (False Name), you are quite welcome in the castle outside those days.”

Cedric held up a finger, “Let me get this straight, Baileywick. (False Name) and I can work together uninterrupted for the whole day on Tuesdays and Saturdays? We will not be interrupted by a summons or such?”

“Barring emergencies and, as I said, holidays,” Baileywick confirmed. He turned his gaze to you apologetically. “I know you were hoping for three days, (False Name), but as I said, you are quite welcome to come to the castle outside those days. You will just be interrupted more often than on the Tuesdays and Saturdays his majesty has set aside for you two to work.”

“It is quite fine, Baileywick,” you replied. “It is about as good as I had hoped for. However, just a reminder, Cedric will be away at my shop on one of those days.”

Baileywick nodded. “Just be sure to inform someone of your absence, Cedric, whichever day you are away at (False Name)’s apothecary.”

“Yes, yes,” Cedric replied impatiently.

Baileywick noted his impatience, “Very well. (False Name), as it is Thursday today, will you be staying to work with Cedric, or shall I call a carriage for you?”

You raised an eyebrow at Cedric.

He brightened, “You are quite welcome to stay, (False Name). We did agree last night, after all.”

You nodded and looked back at the steward. “I shall be staying, Baileywick.”

The steward nodded in return, “As you wish. I do hope that your work goes well.”

“It will,” Cedric asserted, annoyed as he correctly guessed at Baileywick’s doubt that he would be much help to you. Cedric glared after the departing man for a moment before he turned to you, his expression brighter. “Well, shall we go, then?”

You let him lead the way.

“Princess Sofia was trying to talk my ear off earlier while I was in the ballroom,” Cedric said. “She was rather intrusive about our dance last night. She, uh, she seemed to think that… That you were a good dancer,” he finished, lying terribly as he avoided your eyes.

You rolled your eyes while he wasn’t looking. Really, how did you land yourself here again? You dug your own grave, you were certain of that much. On the other hand, was the proper expression ‘made your bed’? Well, it was your own fault you were stuck working with this transparent besotted sorcerer, anyway.

Oh, oh, wait… if Princess Sofia tried talking his ear off about your dance last night then… You closed your eyes and it was only with a surge of willpower that you did not groan aloud in anticipation of the torture to come someday soon.

Ruby and Jade were sure to talk your ears off, possibly literally.

You scowled briefly and decided that in the future you were not going to let children into your shop unless they were escorted or customers. You were still stuck with the problem of Jade and Ruby, possibly for the rest of your life unless you completely alienated them, but at least you could avoid such situations in the future.

“I am not a good dancer,” you said.

“You are,” he insisted, looking at you. His face reddened and he faced forward as you climbed the spiral stairs to his tower. “I mean, you danced very well last night.”

You were firm in the belief that you were not a good dancer so nothing Cedric could ever say would make you think otherwise. When you were a child, you did not learn to dance and when you gained your legacy, you were too busy being ‘trained’ to learn how to dance. When Parvam became king, you were too preoccupied with his failing health to learn how to dance. Parvam himself had never learned, being too poor of health for the lengthily lessons or for the actual balls and dances themselves. He usually made a short appearance and returned to the peace and quiet of elsewhere while you accompanied him, both of you dressed for the occasion but unable to stay long for it. Him because of his health, and you because of his health. You had to take care of him, after all. You did not mind that you could not dance very well and no occasion has ever made you regret that you cannot twirl and prance with the best of them.

“Kaw,” Wormwood greeted darkly as you followed the thin sorcerer into his tower.

“Stop that, Wormy,” Cedric chided. He turned to you and smiled. “So, where shall we begin, (False Name)?”

You brought out your notes and your lists. “Let us start with my lists. This one here is a list of potions I need ingredients for and here is a separate list of the missing ingredients and their effects in various potions.”

Cedric took lists and quickly looked them over. “These three here,” he pointed them out in turn, “There are different potions to cover the same effects that I can teach you, rather than us stumbling around trying to find substitute ingredients for pretty much the same result.”

“That will suffice,” you said. Of course, you still intended to find the substitute ingredients; it would just be on your own. Your grandfather loomed in your memory while you steadfastly tried to ignore him.

“Shall we begin with those or with trying to find a substitute for one of these?”

You tilted your head at the unpleasant memory of being taught to brew potions. Grandfather was so harsh and exacting… You blinked hard and focused. You glanced at Cedric. “I do prefer being prepared over experimenting.”

“Then let’s begin with the replacement potions,” Cedric said energetically. He bustled about, preparing a cauldron.

You shoved the memory of your grandfather into the dark depths of your mind.

***

You stared at the bluish potion doubtfully. “And this will cure boils on the buttocks?”

Cedric blinked and resisted the urge to cough. He cleared his throat and nodded, “Yes, it will. I understand that unless it actually works on someone you will continue to doubt it, especially since you learned a different potion to accomplish the same thing, but it is not like we have anyone to test it on.”

You stared at him.

Cedric looked at you in alarm, “I am not going to be a guinea pig!”

Wormwood cawed in derision from his perch. It sounded like he was disgruntled. Perhaps Cedric used him as a test subject sometimes.

You looked away from him. “I suppose I shall have to take you at your word, then.” You continued staring at the potion mistrustfully. If it could be proven to work then you would have much less issue with it, but until then you would simply have to endure its unproven worth. “What is the next–“

You both turned at the sounding of knocking. Cedric sighed, “Excuse me, (False Name).”

You turned your attention back to the bluish potion while you listened to the conversation at the doorway. Apparently, Princess Sofia was at the door and she wanted to know if he had a spell for curing clumsiness. You had a cure, but it wasn’t a spell, and it would probably leave both mental and physical scars. It was taught to you by King Mendax and your grandfather–

_Hell’s bells!_

What would it take to never remember those two old monsters again?

“Pardon me, (False Name),” Cedric said suddenly, brushing past you to put a book on the table.

“Hi,” Princess Sofia said brightly, trailing after him.

“Princess,” you acknowledged. You turned to watch them as Cedric wrote out a spell and gave it to the princess. You noted the ingenious use of a roll of tear-away parchment he kept for seemingly just such occasions. You made a mental note to copy the simple device sometime in the future. It would be convenient to just tear a piece away from a ready-hanging roll of parchment than to find an unused roll that you had to unpack from somewhere, unroll, cut, roll again and put away, even if you could do it using magic instead of your hands.

“Thank you, Mr. Cedric,” Princess Sofia beamed. She waved at you as she left, “It was nice to see you, Miss (False Name)!”

You gazed after her for a moment before turning a raised eyebrow at Cedric. He muttered, “She wanted a spell to cure clumsiness. Technically, there is no such spell, but there are spells to grant gracefulness. I gave her a simple one that wears off after a night’s sleep.”

He gave a spell to a child? A spell to a child from a non-magical bloodline? Did he do such things often? Did he not realize how…unwise that could be?

Cedric, of course, knew full well how unwise such things could turn out. Heck, he did it on purpose numerous times in attempts to steal the Amulet of Avalor. Right now, though, his reason for giving the spell–the correct spell–to Sofia was because he thought that you had a weakness for children and that it might warm you to him if you saw him being generous with children.

That assumption was far from correct, though.

You did not like children. They were messy and noisy and often unwise or hasty. You did not like even Jade, Ruby, or the Princess Sofia. You outright hated Prince James and you disdained Princess Amber. Moreover, Clover…well, Clover was a special circumstance and she was long dead anyway. As for the children you planned on having, your second daughter and first and only son, well… they would be starting out as babies and babies were even worse than children were, really. So no, you did not like children in the slightest.

Your dislike of children thus made Cedric’s attempts to curry your favor that way fruitless.

“I see,” you said neutrally. You tucked your hair behind your ear. “Well, what next, Cedric?”

The thin sorcerer seemed to brighten at his name. “Next is a potion for the lengthening one’s hair. Be warned, though, while it grows the hair on your head, it also grows the hair on your face.”

You made a mental note to reserve that one for men and added an additional note to find that substitute. The potion you needed it for grew only the hair on one’s head, thank you.

***

It was dark out when you finally noticed the time. Well, actually, it was dark outside by the time Wormwood reached his absolute limit of being ignored and starved and angrily cawed and demanded his master’s attention, beating his wings around the sorcerer’s head.

“Wormwood, what–oh! Is it nighttime already?” Cedric looked out the window and saw that it was indeed after sunset. He glanced around his tower and saw that he had lit the candles at some point without registering the action. He looked at you sheepishly. “I did not notice.”

You shrugged one shoulder, “Nor did I. It is a bad habit of mine, when I am working without interruptions, to forget the time.”

“I lose track of time too, occasionally,” Cedric said as his raven landed on his shoulder.

“I should go,” you decided.

Cedric looked disappointed. “Will you be coming back tomorrow?”

“Not tomorrow,” you replied, crushing him. “But I will return on Saturday. Hopefully there will be no interruptions like there were today.”

Cedric’s stomach growled. He blushed. “Oh, goodness, we forgot to eat today too, didn’t we?”

You thought back on the day. Except for that sandwich this morning… you nodded, “Apparently we did.”

“I do apologize,” Cedric fussed. “I hope you are not too hungry, (False Name). Perhaps… perhaps you would like to stay and eat before departing?”

He looked so hopeful.

“I am sorry, Cedric,” you said, not sorry at all, “But I do want to get back to my apothecary. I shall see you on Saturday.”

“O-Of course,” the thin sorcerer replied. He watched as you packed away your notes and the three potions you had brewed today. A day without you was too long! Tomorrow would surely drag on forever…

You made sure the clasp of your satchel was firmly closed before you turned to Cedric. “I shall see you on Saturday then.”

“Yes, Saturday,” he repeated. He walked you to the door and held it open for you. “I will be waiting.”

You stared at him for a moment. Yes, he definitely looked like he would be. You could see signs of infatuation written all over him. The longing gaze in his eyes tinged with sadness, the slight lean of his body towards you, the overall expression on his face…it was nearly enough to make you wretch. Why would someone allow such emotion to show in their every movement? How could they not notice how much of a fool they were making of themselves?

You disdained him in that moment.

“Goodnight, Cedric.”

****

**The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less.**

**~Eldridge Cleaver**


	9. Solitude and Unwanted Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey.
> 
> Not feeling well, so you get both updates at once. See you tomorrow.

You did not sleep that night either and instead worked through the night, searching for a substitute for the potion that would grow only head hair. If you ever needed to grow your hair then you did _not_ , under any circumstances, want to have to rely on the potion Cedric taught you as it would make you grow facial hair. You were not auditioning for the role of the bearded lady in a circus or freak show, not now, not ever. Although, if a woman who did want to happened to walk into your shop then you would be able to provide her with Cedric’s potion. A night’s research and experimentation yielded nothing. Near dawn, you put aside the project with some irritation and set about preparing for your day outside.

The day dawned bright and clear. You were out the door and headed off for the forest before the sun had fully risen. The air nipped at your face and you pulled your hood over your head. Yes, today would be the first and last day you tried to find any fungi or vegetation in the surrounding area. It was late fall, after all, and most things had already withered away. Still, there was tree bark you could gather, as well as autumn leaves that some potions called for, though those were rare.

As you walked through the village, a small part of you wondered if you had taken today specifically for getting away from Cedric. Since arriving, you had seen entirely too much of him for your taste. Still, as you would be working with him throughout the winter, you had better acquire a taste for the thin, overeager sorcerer. Then again, you didn’t _have_ to. You could just think of it as shamelessly using him, which, technically, you were. You didn’t like Cedric and you doubted that would change.

It was rare that you liked someone, especially after King Mendax and your grandfather were done conditioning you. In fact, if you thought about it, you did not like anyone new after your grandmother died. So, with your mother, grandmother and Parvam dead, there was no one left in the world whom you _did_ like. You didn’t have friends, only slaves and sycophants, and since leaving Tenebris you did not have even those. You had suitors, you supposed, but you didn’t like any of them for a variety of reasons. You didn’t like children either so Jade and Ruby did not count as friends or as people you liked.

You were essentially a solitary sorceress.

…Huh.

Was that not what they called a cliché? If your life were a story, then either your future would have an ignominious defeat at the hands of some bright hero or there would be a True Love who would lead you to the path of light and righteousness.

You brought your hands up to your mouth and stood still for a moment, trembling in disgust.

It was honestly difficult to choose which of those two undesirable options would be the least despised fate. Defeat and death, or becoming a simpering fool? So hard to choose…

You shook your head and straightened your shoulders, dragging yourself back from futures that probably won’t happen. The forest on the outskirts of the village was before you now. In order to find anything usable this late into fall, you had to be alert and use your eyes. You pulled out your magical monocle and put it on, as it would be useful to see things up close without having to bend over constantly.

Your magical monocle was a tool made by one of your ancestors. Your grandmother had lent it to your grandfather and when he died, you took it from his corpse, afraid, even behind your stoic face, that he would suddenly grab your hand and strike you for daring to take what was rightfully yours. His corpse had frightened you to the point where the only time you came even close to touching it was when you unclasped the monocle from his robes. The rest you had left to the servants, watching them as they prepared his pyre and placed him upon it. You hadn’t wanted to take your eyes off his corpse in the remote case that it got up again. You were NOT going to let him get up, you were—

**_Far away_** from Tenebris and the day your grandfather died. You muttered a curse under your breath, dragging yourself back to the present. It was late autumn in Enchancia, not early spring in Tenebris. You inhaled deeply and slowly exhaled to center yourself. The winter snows would be here soon, so today was likely your last chance to go out looking for things. You straightened your back and entered the forest, leaving behind the village of Dunwiddie.

The next three hours saw you wandering haphazardly through the bare forest. You collected fallen leaves of various color, as well as some tree bark from different species of trees. You found a few hardy toadstools and even three mushrooms. You idly noted that the birds and animals in the forest fled before your presence. Animals could sense evil, of that you were aware. Most people do not notice such things, but there have been a few who were clued into your true nature due to the behavior of animals around you.

An old sorcerer in Petallia told you that he could track your movements through the forest towards the castle by the way the birds took flight above the treetops. He had…’advised’ you not to try anything in Petallia, and you hadn’t. You had nothing to do with the unnaturally cold winter that year. At least, nothing he could prove since you were only there in the spring, but long gone before even the first summer breeze had drifted over the kingdom. You were eight kingdoms away by the time the bitter winter winds fell and eventually took the lives of several people. What proof was there that you sent a bitter winter in retaliation of an old sorcerer’s warning?

A smirk played on the corners of your lips as a river came into sight.

You did not like being confronted on even the smallest thing. Rare is the person who starts a fight and lives a life unscathed, for your memory for such things is long. Too long, perhaps, but that is what you were, and it was easier to remain the same with a thin veneer of civility than to actually change and be _nice_ to the bone. Changing so drastically was probably beyond you. At least, the pain of changing was not something you would consider, at least not for the far and foreseeable future.

You sat down on a rock and opened your satchel on your lap. Reaching in, much farther than the outside size would suggest you possibly could, you pulled out several jars and lined them up on the ground. A wave of your wand made your lower legs waterproof and you stepping into the river without getting wet. For an hour you bent over the water, gathering water beetles, leeches and green slime. 

When you finally heeded your hunger pangs you summoned a fish from the water to be your meal. Sandwiches were fine but even you needed a _little_ variety. You made a campfire and gutted the fish, pulling out its innards to judge the cold of the coming winter. Seeing that it would be a normal winter, you cast aside the fish guts and impaled the fish upon a stick to let it roast near the fire. As your meal twitched its last moments of life away being cooked, you washed your hands in the river and shook them to dry.

Enchancia was as peaceful as ever. Nearly every kingdom or territory you had gone through was peaceful, come to think of it. In your own opinion, you thought a little war could do these kingdoms some good. Well, not good, but it would certainly liven up a mundane existence. Quite a few obnoxious little princes and princesses might even benefit in character development if their kingdoms were under threat or siege. You had thought of sieging a castle or seven, but King Parvam’s orders stood: live peacefully unless pressed. Well, that was the summary of a rather long and convoluted order where he tried to give you loopholes so you didn’t end up dead because he forbade you to fight.

*-*-*

The silver moon flowers glowed gently in the otherwise dark room. Parvam coughed from the depths of his ornate bed and you tensed, waiting for his small fit to subside. As his coughs tapered off you could hear his labored breathing in the otherwise oppressive silence.

**Damn his mother.**

“(Name)…”

“Yes, my King?”

“…Never liked that…” He sighed and was silent for a long moment. “I… I fear I will soon meet the… inevitable end all creatures face... My dear (Name)… what then of you?”

You folded your hands on your lap, staring at his thin, pale face in the gloom. “I do not know. Since my grandmother died, it has been my fate to serve the King of Tenebris. I served first your father, then you yourself. In the normal course of events, were you healthy, had you a son, if I lived long enough then I would serve him as the next King. If there is no King of Tenebris…”

Parvam shifted, his weary eyes gazing in your general direction. “If there is no King… then you… are _free_.”

Your heart leapt as it never had before.

You swallowed hard and after a moment you shook your head, forcing back a tidal wave of bitterness so that it did not inflect your voice. “I do not know if that is true. It may be that the…curses…on me will remain and that I will live out my life following your last orders, whatever they were, however long ago they were said. My children, however, will never hear the voice of the King of Tenebris, so it may be that they will have more freedom than I ever have.”

Parvam’s face pinched at the mention of your children. They would not be his.

He sighed and seemed to sink further into his bed. “(Name), the thought you trapped here after I am gone… it pains me. I… I do not want you to remain here alone…” He turned his head back to you. “Royal Sorceress of Tenebris, hear now your King. Upon my death I order you to leave Tenebris. I order you to leave _Umbra_. Obey no false king who may rise to take my place, who may try to order you otherwise. You know only my blood may command you.”

You watched him carefully as he paused to breathe, panting as though he had run instead of merely speaking. Normally, leaving Umbra was nigh impossible. However, the King had ordered it and you would _obey_ , whatever it cost you.

After a moment Parvam opened his eyes and continued. “When you depart Umbra for the lands beyond, things will be different. I imagine… I _know_ the people will be different. Royal Sorceress, I order you to reign in your temper, so cold it is hot. Refrain from the techniques my father and your grandfather taught you, beat and burnt and battered into you.” Tears welled up in his eyes at the memory of the day you told him the truth. He breathed deeply.

You absentmindedly rubbed one of your forearms, knowing of the scars that hid beneath your clothing, so numerous that they often overlapped.

_It wasn’t always just for training that they hurt you._

“Royal Sorceress, I order you to live in _peace_. Stretch your patience beyond its limits, stay your hasty hand. Do not make life harder for yourself than need be. Murder and cruelty and torture… unless it is necessary, unless there is no other choice, do not commit these actions. I do not want you to be a monster.”

But you already were.

“Live a life of peace, away from this miserable place. Instead of using your magic to hurt people, to kill people, I want you to use your magic to _help_ people.”

‘Want’ was ambiguous and left you with slight more room to flex than a straight-out ‘order’ or ‘command’ did. You didn’t _have_ to obey ‘want’.

Parvam paused, blinking his eyes closed. “Ah… but I do not want you to die because I ordered you not to use your magic to hurt people. Sometimes… sometimes it is necessary to do so…” He murmured slowly, his eyes still closed. “Royal Sorceress, I order you to live in peace, but I also order you to protect yourself. Let no one hurt you… let no one kill you… Live in peace… if… you are… allowed…”

You waited for several long moments but Parvam was asleep now, breathing shallowly. 

You leaned back in your chair and stared up at the ceiling in contemplation.

He often rambled these days.

*-*-*

When he woke up later he added more loopholes and convolutions to his orders. It was…sad.

You shook your head and realized that you were partway through eating your fish. Ack, fishbone in your mouth…you maneuvered your tongue and pushed out the offending bone. You picked it up between your thumb and finger and stared at it.

“ _Suffocat in hoc, paulo princeps._ ” ‘ _Choke on this, little prince._ ’

The bone disappeared from your grasp. Unconcerned, you continued eating your fish, focusing on it to avoid more fish bones. A few moments later you paused, wondering if you maybe should have waited a lot longer before inflicting any sort of curse on Prince James. You shrugged. If the prince choked on a fish bone the next time he ate fish it would just be a small incident and his parents would tell him to chew more carefully. As long as you didn’t go completely overboard then a small curse now and then would not lead suspicion to you.

And if it did… eh, it was only five people you had to memory modify, maybe six.

You carefully chewed the rest of the fish and when you were done you stood up, extinguished your fire and walked over the river to the other side. Using your magical monocle you found, caught and put into your satchel two rabbits, a songbird, a hibernating toad, forty-two various larvae, a nest of black ants you trapped in an ant farm and two squirrels. What you would do with them would very likely upset Princess Sofia if she found out, so it was in your interest to not let her find out. She had the potential to poison both her royal parents and Cedric against you. Using animals and creatures in sorcery was normal but there was no need to shove it in her face. You had already magically expanded the basement of your rented building, going six stories into the ground where you had set up your darker laboratory.

Down there…that was where you made your darker potions, magic and predictions. Using fish guts to tell the status of the coming season was one thing, but gutting a rabbit to divine the direction of an object or person… well, there was a reason you went six stories underground for that in the southern kingdoms. In Tenebris you did most of your things in your towers. You still had a buried chamber, certainly, but that was emptied out and now underneath Dunwiddie.

Ruby and Jade would scream and run away if they knew. King Roland would have you arrested or exiled from his kingdom. King Parvam hadn’t told you to hide your laboratory. That was just common sense, like the silence spell on your satchel that kept sound from escaping it, even when the top was open. You didn’t need the panicked sounds of the animals within to give you away.

You paused in your walk and stretched your arms. The beginnings of fatigue were beginning to nip at your body. You could go on for a few more days without sleep but there was really no need. You would sleep tonight, you decided.

The afternoon was half gone. You turned around and headed back to Dunwiddie. You pulled off your hood and let your hair fall free. A breeze shifted your hair and you decided that you would shop for hair ribbons soon. You paused in your step and reviewed that thought. Blinking slowly you realized that not once did you think of just taking some twine from your stock to tie your hair back. Your mind had decided on ribbons and gave nary a thought to ugly, practical twine.

Why was that?

*-*-*

“You have such nice hair,” Grandmother said. You couldn’t see her face but you knew she was smiling. You smoothed your skirts as she brushed your hair and pulled it back to tie it up. Your hair was all in one bunch at the back of your head instead of at the nape of your neck where you usually tied it. She tugged something tight and proclaimed, “There. Now, go study. I have work to do.”

You scrambled out of the way as she stood up from her chair and left the room. You pushed your hands against the rub covering the stone floor and stood. Rushing over to the mirror on the wall you turned your head and saw that she had put a pretty yellow ribbon in your hair.

It looked like your hair was tied up with sunlight.

*-*-*

You scrunched your face slightly. What a foolish child you had been. There was no way your grandmother could have taken light and used it to tie your hair up. The yellow was actually gold. Your grandmother had put a golden ribbon in your hair, not a yellow one.

Moving your feet once more, you reflected that at least now you knew why you wanted a ribbon. Still, a woman your age shouldn’t be wearing something so bright. You would prefer a black ribbon, or a dark colored ribbon, something sensible, really. Shrugging, you removed your magical monocle and stowed it away in the depths of your robe. Just as you had magically extended your satchel, so you had magically extended the space beneath your robe and body.

As you walked you thought back to the day you told Cedric that the simplest potion you had wanted to make was a potion that healed severe burns. That was… slightly misleading, if not an outright lie, as proved by the potion that cures boils from the buttocks. You brushed the thought away as unimportant. Cedric had not called you out on it, and besides, even if he did, you wouldn’t care. Also, at the time you had said it, it _was_ the simplest potion you had wanted to make. It is just that when you got back to your shop, a look through your journals had revealed other potions you wanted to make.

Why were you trying to justify a slip of the tongue _to yourself?_

You scowled, irritated and annoyed with yourself. There were days when you couldn’t stand your own company.

***

It was early evening when you finally returned to your shop in Dunwiddie. As you were unlocking your shop, you sensed someone approach. Children without malice often slipped under your radar, but adults rarely did. You turned as the figure approached and noted that it was a man.

“Good evening, healer,” he spoke. He paused. “I am Samson. You may not know me—“

You dearly wanted to interrupt him and just cut straight to the point.

“—but I am the father of the boy whom you have so recently saved. My wife came to see you, you may recall.”

You did. Had you been _allowed_ , you would have cursed her the moment she invaded your personal space. You would have inflicted upon her a curse that made it extremely painful to even _touch_ someone. Still, King Parvam had commanded…

“Our boy is well and it is thanks to you.”

Maybe. Or maybe he would have succumbed to his fever. You didn’t really care either way.

“My wife has sent me to ask if you would join us for the meal you requested. My mother-in-law will be dining with us. She wishes to meet and thank the healer who saved her grandson’s life. Please, would you consider dining with us this evening?”

Why did you add a meal to her tab again? Surely there must have been a reason… You didn’t even like food very much so why on earth did you do that?

“Very well.”

The man brightened a little. He turned to the side and held out his arm to gesture down the street, “Shall we?”

You nodded and with a careless flick of your wand the enchantments to your shop were activated once again. Samson stepped in line with you and led the way down several streets before finally coming to a stop before a homey little house. He opened the door, “I am home and we have a guest!”

You vaguely heard excited voices within as you entered the home before Samson.

“Daddy!”

A little boy with dark hair came scrambling from a room and ran up to Samson. The man picked up his son and you watched as they both greeted each other with happy smiles and exclamations.

It was never like that for you. Your mother loved you but she left the world while you were still so young. Your grandmother loved you too, but she rarely had time to even see you, much less demonstrate such exuberant affection. You never knew your father and your grandfather was nearly always cruel. The few gestures of affection had not diminished your terrible fear of him. Your family was not like this.

But you wanted them back anyway because being alone was somehow worse (except grandfather; he could stay dead for all you cared).

The evening passed in social pleasantries that left the usual ash in your mouth. The food did not make up for it and you were quite glad to leave, even with more tedious thanks being tossed at your back as you left.

“’Bye, lady!”

(Clover would have been older.)

**It is good to feel lost... because it proves you have a navigational sense of where "Home" is. You know that a place that feels like _being found_ exists. And maybe your current location isn't that place but, Hallelujah, that unsettled, uneasy feeling of lost-ness just brought you closer to it.**

**~Erika Harris**


	10. A Mother's Love

You were in the west tower of the two towers dedicated to the royal sorceress. This tower held your sleeping quarters at the top, the library level for the mid- and ground levels, and the artifact chamber in the basement level. There was a book in your hands as you sat before the fireplace, studying… something. Which book was this? Actually, why where you even here? You could have sworn—

Creak.

You dropped the book in your hands and stood up, whipping out your wand to point it at the door that led into the castle. The door was hanging ajar. You always locked that door behind you. _Always_. So why—

Creeeaaak.

You stood rigid as the door opened slightly wider. Your eyes narrowed as you prepared to punish the unwelcome interloper to your base. Everyone in the castle know that if someone wanted you they were to ring the bell—

Rotted fingers slid into view, clutching the door.

“(Name)…”

Terror jolted down your spine as you recognized the voice speaking your name.

No…

No!

He was dead! _Dead!_

“Stupid girl… terrible sorceress…”

The door didn’t slam open but it continued sliding open just the same, no matter how much you willed it not. You didn’t want to see what was behind the door, you didn’t!

You stumbled back, suddenly wandless and fifteen years old again as a robed corpse stood framed at the entrance. White hair discolored by dirt clung to withered flesh and sunken, shrived eyes searched the room for you—please don’t see me, please don’t see me—before finding you and locking on to your shivering form. The _thing_ took a step into the tower and you scrambled back until your back hit a wall.

This was wrong. This was impossible! You burned him! He was ash in the wind!

“(Name)…”

But the most terrible thing was not that a corpse was standing before you, nor was it the fact that you were trapped by something that shouldn’t be.

No, the most terrible thing was that this creature was true to form.

“It’s time for your lessons.”

Because grandfather, for all he was cruel and harsh and sadistic, never raised his voice.

***

You jolted up in bed, swallowing the scream in your throat as you waved your hand in blind terror, still trying to fend off the approaching corpse of your grandfather. Blinded by darkness and terrified by the realisation that you _couldn’t see_ , you summoned bright spheres of light to illuminate the room. Your eyes wildly swung from one corner of the room to the other, staring at everything to make sure there was nothing—no one—that shouldn’t be there. Seeing that you were alone, you relaxed slightly, gasping for breath.

Grandfather was a monster, and the fact that he looked bored through every instance of pain and torture he inflicted upon you or watched inflicted upon you was a cruel reminder that where grandmother would bend laws to protect you, grandfather just _didn’t care_.

Sweat dripped down the sides of your face as you waited for your heart to stop racing erratically in your chest.

_“You’re doing it wrong, you stupid girl.” **Crack!** “Cease that infernal screeching and do it right this time.”_

The whip scars on your back gave a twinge in faint remembrance. You wrapped your arms around your knees and imagined shoving every memory of your grandfather into a box you locked. This usually helped, but you had a nagging suspicion that it would never be perfect and that his memory would continue to escape for the rest of your life.

You hated grandfather ( _Why didn’t he **help me?**_ ). Why couldn’t his memory just die with him?

***

It was a while before you lifted your head to look at your curtained windows and knew it was still dark outside, but you were too afraid to go back to sleep. You didn’t want to close your eyes and have your mind finish your nightmare. Going back to that tower with him there… No. You could face the Blood Wolves that ate your grandmother alive, and you could face great and terrible dark mages, but you didn’t have the strength to face your nightmares. It didn’t matter that your dreams— _nightmares_ —couldn’t hurt you; you just couldn’t bring yourself to risk facing them, especially if you were lucky enough to escape them early enough before your mind dragged you into frightening depths.

It was small comfort that at least King Mendax hadn’t been present with grandfather in your nightmare.

Giving up on sleep, you caved in to the need to find something else to focus on. Getting up from your bed, you went to the foot of it and dug through the depths of your childhood trunk, pulling out all manners of material and objects. Finally, you grabbed what you sought and lifted it up. A worn stuffed bunny with white fur stared back at you with dull, black bead eyes, adorned in a lilac dress and flower-patterned apron. A necklace was latched around its neck and you cradled the gem in your hand as the other held the stuffed bunny on your lap. The gem was round and a dark purple in color with many small glittering imperfections. Silver wire held it to a circle frame and those same wires were twisted to look like a tree. 

A silver tree set against the night sky.

You released the necklace to hold the stuffed bunny against the side of your face. Hugging this familiar stuffed toy was something you rarely did, because while it brought you comfort, it also tended to make you sad.

These things, this stuffed rabbit and this necklace, had been gifts from your grandmother to your mother, and on the day she took her own life, your mother had given them to you. Grandmother hadn’t been home for weeks and wasn’t due back for a few days still. You had woken up and the day had proceeded normally, but out of the blue in the afternoon, mother had set down her book and gone to your shared sleeping quarters before coming back out.

*_*_*

You looked up at the sound of mother calling your name. She smiled and knelt down holding out a white stuffed bunny.

“My mother gave me this,” she said. She was still smiling as she set it in your arms. “I want you to have it, love.”

You smiled back at her. “Granny made it? Does she have a name?”

She nodded. “I named her Yvonne.”

You held Yvonne out so you could see her face. “Hello, Yvonne!”

Mother didn’t move from your side so you looked back at her. She was still smiling, but it was a sad smile. Her hands came up to your face to hold you and she kissed your hair. You giggled happily.

“I want you to have something else, love.”

You tilted your head and watched as she reached up to her neck. Your eyes widened as her necklace came off, that necklace you loved so much. You loved sitting in her lap and holding her necklace to turn it in the firelight so that it glittered endlessly, like a piece of the night sky in your hands. She placed the beloved necklace around your neck and you threw your arms around her neck, startling her.

“I love you, mommy!”

She held you tightly and rocked you against her for several long moments.

Oh, how you loved her then, safe and warm against you.

She let you go but stared at you for a long moment, her eyes drifting all over your face. She smiled again, that same sad smile as she met your eyes one last time.

“I love you, too.”

*_*_*

You clutched Yvonne tighter still as your memories played through your mind yet again.

Mother had walked out of the tower and you thought she went to the next tower where you weren’t allowed to go. You were right. She did go there. She went there and she ate poisonous berries grandmother had stored in a jar with the rest of her potion supplies. You knew now that she died within a minute.

Because you weren’t allowed into that tower, you stayed away. You got worried, of course you did. You had been only a child then, and you wanted your mother to come back, but you had been forbidden from leaving your tower without an escort, and forbidden from entering the second tower. So you waited with Yvonne for your mother to come back. You lived on bread, cheese, and water. Sometimes you stood at the door leading to the bridge to the second tower and called for her through the closed door, but she never answered or opened it again.

Days had passed before grandmother came home. She found you alone with Yvonne, a stuffed bunny she knew well.

You can still recall the wild look in her eyes as she raced through that bridge door, a futile dash in a race long concluded.

You didn’t blame grandmother anymore, but you haven’t forgiven mother for that. You still resent her for leaving, for abandoning you to what should have been her fate before it was yours.

But damn if you don’t understand why she did it.

***

The first frost had come. You saw it gleaming on the houses opposite of your shop as you stared out the bay window of your bedroom. The frost would be gone soon, but for now, it glittered in the light of the dawn.

Yvonne sat clutched on your lap, a thing you hadn’t done since the first month of your departure from Tenebris. You had been in a coastal kingdom, unknown and renting an inn room for the night. Alone in a strange land, not long after your first experience of a choreographed song from the village folk about life in the seaside village… truly a horror you had never come across before.

Leaving Tenebris has been a culture shock. If Parvam hadn’t chained you with orders to reign in your temper, to stay your hand… you were fairly certain that you would have killed the singers out of sheer disbelief to make them _stop_. Chasing down the few dark elements in these peaceful kingdoms helped keep you sane because during those times you could use your magic without being constricted. What loophole permitted that, you weren’t sure, but you were grateful nonetheless, even if your gratitude wasn’t much.

Two years had done a lot to help acclimate yourself to your new life, but how many more did you have to slog through? How much time did you still have left to live? It’s been so long since your grandmother died. Longer still since your mother left you. Even Parvam had left the world before you did.

If no one was around to punish you for being weak, then was it wrong to admit… that you were lonely?

You closed your eyes and sighed into the back of Yvonne’s head, using her as a pillow between your forehead and knees as you remembered some of grandmother’s words.

_“I hope I live at least five more years. Sixteen would be a good age for you to have your daughter. For us, it’s best to give birth to our daughters while our mothers are still alive, because there’s less chance that the baby will be born in battle. Twelve really is young, and I’m sorry it happened, but it would have been better if Clover hadn’t died. I won’t be here forever, you know.”_

You hated babies, despised children, and, after your traumatic experience in your youth, **loathed** the lust of men.

The decision had been made and you were going to go through with it. You were going to make children, your second daughter and only son, and that would help mitigate your loneliness and give you some purpose as well.

But there were no words for how much you hated knowing _how_ you were going to make your children.

***

Not long after you stepped out to head for the castle, you suddenly found yourself with two walking companions. At this point in time, you wouldn’t be surprised if they were stalking you.

Jade and Ruby beamed up at you on either side.

Oh. _By Vivien._

“Sooo,” Jade started, holding her hands behind her back.

“We saw you dancing with Cedric,” Ruby continued, staring innocently up at you.

You continued walking. “Yes?”

They chorused, “ _Did you fall in love?_ ”

You nearly paused, full stop. Instead, you blinked and sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Jade. Ruby. People do not fall in love with one dance.”

“Some people do,” Jade protested. “Mrs. Laruen says her husband swept her off her feet with a single dance at a festival.”

“I’m sure lots of other people have fallen in love with a single dance, too,” Ruby pitched in, backing up her friend’s claim.

“Very well,” you conceded. “However, _I_ have not fallen in love with Cedric. I doubt I ever will.”

“Aww,” Ruby pouted. “I really wanted you to so that you would stay here.” She beamed up at you. “I like you, and I don’t want you to leave!”

“You’re so nice,” Jade put in, missing your fist clench momentarily at the word. “It would be awesome if you stayed in Dunwiddie forever.”

You would probably lose your patience and poison the village, honestly.

You shook your head. “Things do not always turn out the way we wish they would.”

Jade skipped a couple steps beside you. “Are you going to go see Cedric again?”

Ruby grinned. “You sure are spending a lot of time with someone you claim not to like too much.”

“We are _sorcerers_ ,” you said. “Our work is time consuming and difficult. It may look easy, but I assure you, it is not. Currently Cedric and I are working together to fill in gaps in my repertoire of potions. It is very important I continue my research as I never know when I will suddenly need a specific potion.”

After a moment of silence they ran a few steps ahead, spun on their heels to face you and squealed, “But wasn’t that dance _so romantic?_ ”

You stopped and pinched the bridge of your nose. Clearly, they weren’t going to stop this thread of thought unless they saw you slap Cedric or something. Not that the thought wasn’t tempting, but you were already set up for the winter. It would be such a pain to pack everything and return the basement to its normal proportions when you spent so much time and energy setting it up. Magic helped you, yes, but it still took time to shrink everything and pack it up and then haul it around and set it all up again elsewhere.

You lowered your hand to see that your lackluster reaction hadn’t dimmed their enthusiasm for the potential romance between you and the royal sorcerer. You dearly hoped Princess Sofia wouldn’t be so blatant about it.

“It wasn’t… terrible.”

Somehow, your dull statement filtered into their minds as something squeal-worthy, like, ‘I could fall in love with him.’

You brushed past the loud, hopping girls and continued on your way.

Jade called, “Good luck!”

Ruby added, “You can do it!”

You kept reminding yourself that pulling up your temporary roots and fleeing in the middle of the night would raise questions. Potentially awkward questions you might have to face someday in the form of crossing paths with the royal family.

Upon arriving at the castle and on your way to Cedric’s tower, a hare crossed your path, hopping into sight. It saw you and paused, eyes widening. It was fat and healthy, so you said the first thing that crossed your mind.

“You would make a good stew.”

It fled.

You continued up to Cedric’s tower, idly wondering why a hare was loose in the castle. Maybe you’d actually make a stew out of it if you saw it again.

***

“Sofia!”

The young princess turned to see her best animal friend had arrived. She smiled, “Good morning, Clover!”

The hare pointed in a seemingly random direction. “There’s a lady in the castle who’s giving me serious bad vibes, princess! Like, evil vibes!”

Sofia frowned in concern. “Oh? Maybe I should tell someone… What did this person look like?”

Clover hopped closer before giving a description of a familiar person. 

Sofia smiled, recognizing the person being described. “Oh, that’s just (False Name) the Hero!”

Clover spluttered, “ _That’s_ the woman you’ve been talking about, the one you hope marries Cedric?!”

Sofia sat down on the floor. “She’s not an evil person, Clover. Mom says she’s probably just having a hard time adjusting to losing her king, even if it was two years ago. She says people deal with grief in different ways and Miss (False Name) probably loved her king a lot so losing him must have been really hard. I’m sure she’s not evil.”

Clover sputtered, “She said I’d make a good stew!”

Sofia looked taken aback. “Oh.” She blinked, not able to resist poking fun at her friend by literally poking his tummy. “Well, you probably would.”

Clover huffed. “I’d make the best stew, but that doesn’t mean I want to be stew!”

Sofia giggled in agreement, “I don’t want you to be stew either.” She stood up. “Don’t worry, Clover. I’ll tell Miss (False Name) that you’re not for eating. I’m sure she wouldn’t want to accidently eat a princess’s best friend.”

Clover sighed, “Okay. I guess that’s the best thing to do right now.” He hopped after her. “Make really sure you tell her not to eat me!”

Sofia waved at him as she headed out the door. “I’ll do it right away. Later, Clover!”

***

Cedric was in the middle of a sentence when a knock came at the door. You both turned your heads to stare at it. The knock came again and Cedric scowled.

“So much for no disturbances,” he muttered before clearing his throat. “Come in!”

The door opened and Princess Sofia stepped into the workshop. “Hello Mr. Cedric and Miss (False Name)!”

“Sofia,” Cedric greeted. He folded his arms, “Is there an emergency I need to know about, princess?”

Sofia tilted her head, “Huh?” She seemed to recall something, “Oh! That’s right! Dad said not to bother you today unless it was an emergency.” She smiled sheepishly, “Sorry, I forgot.”

Cedric rolled his eyes. “Did you need something?”

She shook her head, “Not really. I just wanted to come tell Miss (False Name) something.” She turned her attention to you and gave you an apologetic smile. “You might not know it, Miss (False Name), but I have several woodland friends that visit me here at the castle. They are a couple of songbirds, a squirrel, and a hare. I wanted you to be aware that they’re not for eating.”

You stared at her. A princess… with woodland creatures… as friends…? So that really was a thing.

Sofia misinterpreted your deadpan stare as something else and waved her hands frantically, “Not that I think you would eat them or anything! I just wanted to, to make sure! I mean, his name is Clover and he’s my good friend, so yeah, please don’t eat him.” She smiled at you, “Well, that’s all I wanted to say. I’ll leave you two to your work.” She waved and headed out the door, “Bye!”

Cedric stared at the closed door before turning to you. “ _Have_ you seen that annoying hare around?”

“It crossed my path,” you replied truthfully, still digesting the fact that a hare shared the same name as your unfortunate first-born.

“I see.” He turned back to his desk. “Where were we?”

You joined him by his side. “You were explaining the properties and uses of the thorny blackberries.”

Cedric continued his lecture and you continued taking notes.

***

(False Name) had elected to take a break and he had obliged, conjuring a pot of tea. However, instead of sitting with him, she was now staring out the window while holding a cup of tea in her hands.

Merlin’s mushrooms. Cedric could hardly believe she was here in his workshop learning from _him_ , of all people. The great and mysterious (False Name) the Hero, in his workshop with him… 

Cedric pinched himself.

Ow!

Okay, this wasn’t a dream.

He swallowed nervously, stirring sugar into his tea.

He had heard of her long before she appeared in Enchancia. The first time he had heard of her was when he overheard King Roland talking to Queen Miranda about a sorcerer who saved a village from a devastating landslide. He had been jealous to hear the king wish that Cedric could be half as strong. Of course, now they both knew that the sorcerer in question was really a sorceress.

Her legend had only grown since then, though she wasn’t confirmed to be a sorceress until she had settled for that first winter in Hi’lead, during which she had saved the princess Aileana from falling victim to the claws of death when the ice broke beneath her and she disappeared from sight. She saved the princess’s life and that winter the nobility had been treated to grand displays of her magic and they had passed the stories on to the other royals until they eventually reached Enchancia.

Since then he had gone from jealous of a non-existent sorcerer to enamoured with the thought of a powerful, unattached sorceress, because yes, the stories often included the fact that she was not only single, but unattached to any kingdom. 

The rumor that she had finally been headed towards Enchancia had given him daydreams of successfully enchanting the famous sorceress and claiming her as his bride.

And then she had appeared at his very door!

Since then his daydreams seemed to becoming closer to his grasp. She had not distained him. She had not mocked him when his magic failed. She had even gone so far as to dance with him! The memories of their dance in his tower and in the ballroom were not daydreams but factual truth that had occurred with witnesses! If the stories of her adventures were true then so far only he, Cedric of Enchancia, had successfully danced with her and worked with her on an on-going project!

Cedric’s happy face suddenly took a sharp downturn as he remembered that Roland had ‘encouraged’ him to court (False Name). If he was then he was doing it because he was interested in her, not because King Roland told him to!

Well, that’s not what he said, but that’s basically what it boiled down to, really. King Roland wanted (False Name) to stay in Enchancia and he didn’t want Cedric to upset her enough to make her leave—

“—ric? Are you all right?”

Cedric flailed as he realized (False Name) was talking to him. “Oh! Yes! I’m fine!” He coughed. “I was just thinking about… something.”

She set down her empty teacup. “Very well. Shall we continue?”

Cedric banished the tea set. “Yes. Let’s.”

***

When evening came, you dissuaded Cedric from walking you to the castle entrance and bid him farewell from his door after reminding him that he was to join you in your shop on Tuesday.

On your way out, the same hare from earlier that day crossed your path again, this time accompanied by a squirrel. The hare stared at you as though it remembered your words from earlier. The squirrel merely tilted its head in curiosity, probably wondering why its companion had stopped.

“Clover.”

The hare froze in mid-action of hopping away. Well, it recognized its name. 

You glanced around you and didn’t see anyone else. Kneeling down you reached into you satchel and pulled out a rock. With a wave of your wand, it became a bright orange carrot. The hare’s nose sniffed in interest, though it still didn’t move toward you.

Holding out the carrot, you spoke. “I apologize for saying you would make a good stew. Had I known your name, I would never have said it.”

The hare still seemed mistrustful of you. The squirrel, seeing that its companion was interested in the carrot, left.

You continued holding out the carrot, statue still. The hare took a hop in your direction, clearly interested in the carrot but also wary of you.

“You share my daughter’s name, you know.”

The hare stilled, staring up at you. You don’t know what it saw in your face… but it finally hopped up to the carrot and took it. You stared at the hare and tentatively reached out to touch its head. It seemed reluctant to let you do so, but it didn’t flee. Its fur was soft.

“…She’s long gone, but you know what?”

It stared up at you.

Certain of its silence, you confessed a thought you had never voiced before.

“I miss her, and I wish she was here.”

***

Clover watched as the scary woman disappeared from sight. He stared down at the half-eaten carrot between his paws.

She still gave off major evil vibes…but he could sense sad ones now too, and those made her a little less scary.

Clover continued eating the carrot.

He wondered if Sofia knew that the woman she was hoping would marry Cedric had had a child before.

 

****

**Our dead are never dead to us until we have forgotten them.**

****

****

**~George Eliot, Adam Bede**


	11. The Calm Before the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello.
> 
> Feeling better, but whether you'll be getting chapter twelve later today is up in the air. Still, after chapter twelve is up, you'll be caught up with Luna and the update schedule will revert to 'whenever I finish a chapter'.
> 
> Thanks for reading so far, and extra thanks to those who left kudos and a bookmark. :)

Sofia ran into her room and jumped up into her bed, landing with a happy laugh as Clover hopped over. He jumped up onto her bed and laughed with the happy princess.

“What’s up, Sof?”

She turned on her side and smiled at the animal. “Mr. Cedric is looking forward to seeing Miss (False Name) on Tuesday.” She giggled. “It’s only Sunday and he’s already so anxious to see her again. I’m really happy for him and hope she likes him back. It would be great if they fell in love and got married!”

Clover hummed thoughtfully, staring at the happy girl. He hated to rain on her parade, but… “Would Cedric still want her if she had already had a family?”

Sofia paused and stared at him solemnly. “What do you mean?”

He folded his paws. “Well, Miss (False Name) doesn’t know you can talk to animals, right?” At her nod, he continued. “She spoke to me yesterday after conjuring the best carrot I’ve ever tasted.” He looked momentarily dreamy at the memory of the carrot before shaking himself back to seriousness. “She told me that she had a daughter once with the same name as me, but that she was gone.” 

He met her eyes. “She still misses that kid, Sof. Do you think Cedric can really support her when she’s got a weight like that on her heart? Can he really accept that he’d be her second husband?”

Sofia sat up and stared at her hands in silence. After a long moment she spoke. “People can move on, Clover. I don’t know how long ago it was that Miss (False Name) lost her kid, but I think that even she will move on eventually. Maybe she won’t choose Mr. Cedric… but if she did, I think Mr. Cedric would accept that she had had a family before. He’s a good person, Clover, even if sometime it doesn’t seem like it. He really likes Miss (False Name) and I think he’d accept everything about her.”

She sighed. “Of course, I can’t force them to get together, or even really know them deep down.” She smiled softly. “I can only hope for the best and pray that they’ll find their happily ever after someday.” She giggled mischievously and winked at her friend. “And if I hope they end up together, well, it doesn’t have to hurt them, right?”

Clover rolled his eyes but smiled. “Okay, princess.” He hopped into her arms. “But don’t be too disappointed if they don’t work out, okay?”

She nodded, “Okay.”

***

Sunday and Monday passed without much incident.

For once, Jade and Ruby had not burst into your shop to pester you, and your most interesting customer had been the aforementioned Mr. Humphry searching for an aphrodisiac to try with his wife. He had been flustered and nervous and your blank face probably hadn’t help in that regard, but you didn’t care one way or the other as long as he paid upfront. You hoped that whatever was keeping the two pests away from your shop would continue to do so.

Sunday night saw a light snow covered the kingdom, but it soon melted and turned the ground to mud. The frost of Monday morning had the mud frozen, but it soon returned to a mushy state underneath the sun. With no reason to venture outside, you didn’t. Sure, you could have gone shopping for hair ribbons, but it was easier to just _conjure_ them (that you had gone so long before realizing this was embarrassing and would never be mentioned to anyone ever). If your palm met your face, there were no witnesses save your reflection in the numerous jars on the shelves.

The refreshed memory of your grandfather made you hesitant to sleep again, afraid he would still be waiting. When you finally dared to sleep again Monday evening without the aid of a dreamless sleeping potion, you were not bothered by nightmares. If you dreamt, it was gone before you raised your head from your pillow the next morning.

“Tuesday,” you muttered, sitting up in bed with frazzled hair. 

You yawned and undid the ribbon near the base of your neck, letting your hair free before you flipped the covers off your legs and tugged off your sleeping socks. In your lifetime, more than once had you been dragged out of bed to either battle or flee, and doing either barefoot was not recommended, hence your sleeping socks which were enchanted to become soft-soled shoes once you stood up. You then loosened the string of your dark drawers, letting it drop so you could step out. Then your night shirt came off, tossed onto the bed to await you the next time you slept. Like your sleeping socks, your drawers and nightshirt served a dual purpose, becoming travel-worthy if necessary. However, they were not needed, so off they went and on came your usual clothing for life in these strange kingdoms.

Tying your short robe securely, you peeked into the space between and saw that your materials were where they were supposed to be. Taking a seat at the dresser, you picked up your hairbrush and went to work on your growing mane. Knots taken care of, you gathered your hair up and secured it with a dark blue ribbon. Deeming your appearance satisfactory, you leaned forward.

“Show me the laboratory.”

The mirror shimmered and showed you a picture of your lab deep beneath the building. You frowned as you realized that a few of the woodland creatures had chewed through their cages and escaped, though there was nowhere for them to go. The hatch in the ceiling was the only way in or out and they couldn’t reach it. 

“Annoying,” you grumbled, taking out your wand and flicking it. The woodland creatures found themselves back in their now repaired cages and proceeded to rattle their prisons. A couple more spells to further secure their cages and now you knew they couldn’t get out again. It was fortunate that they hadn’t gotten it in their minds to mess with your potions on the table as one of them was a growth potion. A whole vial of that and a single woodland creature could have destroyed quite a lot. 

Waving your hand, you banished the sight of your hidden lab and headed downstairs. You had to double-check that the entrance to your subterranean room was well-hidden and locked. It wouldn’t do for Cedric—or anyone, really—to go snooping down there. Much of what you set up was dark magic that was outlawed in these heavily sugar-coated kingdoms. You wouldn’t have given a damn, but again, Parvam chained you there.

You didn’t resent him. 

(Not yet.)

***

After securing and hiding the forbidden door, you had breakfast and ate without enthusiasm. When that was done you inspected your workshop one more time to make sure no dark books or objects were in view. True, most of it was contained deep beneath your feet, but you refused to be done in by a moment of forgetfulness. Seeing that everything was proper, you unlocked the front door and sat down to wait for Cedric’s arrival. Truthfully, you were mildly surprised he wasn’t already here, but mostly you grateful he wasn’t already here.

…Actually, when he got here, you were flipping the sign back to ‘closed’ and locking the door. That might send the wrong message, but surely that was better than risking Jade and Ruby bursting in and then hanging out to make goo-goo eyes at the sight of you and Cedric in the same room. You grimaced and resolved to discreetly hex them with a temporary clumsy curse if they came at you again with their foolish notions of you marrying Cedric.

Time slowly crawled by and you pulled out a map of the Tri-Kingdom area to peruse. When spring came you would go wherever your feet and/or intuition took you, so knowing your general surroundings was useful.

The bell rang and you looked up in response, deceptively casual but ready to kill. The sight of Cedric made your fingers twitch, the only indication that expressed your desire to murder the awkward sorcerer. Keeping your blasé expression in place, you nodded, “Welcome to my shop, Cedric.”

The purple-robed sorcerer beamed at you. “Good morning, (False Name). I hope I am not too early.”

“Not at all,” you said, surprisingly truthful. If he had been here at the crack of dawn, on the other hand…

Cedric looked about your apothecary in interest, noting several items he would like to purchase himself.

You gestured to your shop with open arms. “We can use anything here for our projects.”

Cedric’s head snapped to you. “Really?!”

You were not above lying, but right now you wouldn’t have said it if you didn’t mean it. You folded your arms, “There’s no point in not using everything at our disposal.”

He nodded slowly, eyes drifting from jar to jar, “True. We still haven’t reproduced your burn healing potion, after all.”

Cedric had offered an alternative, similar potion, but where his was applied directly to the affected area, yours was ingested orally. In addition, from the description, his potion was less effective than you would like. You learned how to make it, of course, but you continued your search for a replacement ingredient to make what was familiar to you.

You hummed quietly in thought. “Well, let’s get started. We shall be working in the back.”

Cedric nodded and followed you. Once your back was turned he made a stupid smile, gazing adoringly at your back.

You felt his gaze and supressed a shudder.

***

Over the course of the day, a grand total of four attempts blew up in your faces. The first three explosions were the result of incompatible ingredients, but the fourth was pure human error and could have been avoided if Cedric hadn’t been standing so close to you, resulting in your elbow hitting his side, your hand slipping, and just a little too much of powdered nightshade roots added to the potion.

“I-I am awfully sorry about that, (False Name),” Cedric flustered once the smoke dispersed. His face was as blackened as yours and his hair also suffered comedic spikes.

You ran your hand through your hair to smooth any wayward strands and wipe away the black residue. With forced calm that sounded genuine, you dryly commented, “Now we know the dangers of standing too close to each other.” 

Cedric cringed and shrunk into himself ever so slightly. Ignoring him for a moment, you poured water into a bowl from a jug and washed the soot off your face before drying up with a cloth. You stepped aside and gestured to the bowl, wordlessly inviting Cedric to wash his face. As he did so, you vanished the ruined potion and made a note of the time. It was late afternoon.

“I believe I will call it a day for now,” you said. You turned to the royal sorcerer and gestured to the ruined potion. “I will remake this and make note of the completed version and how it compares to the others we have made thus far.”

Cedric finished drying his face and set aside the damp cloth. “Very well. I look forward to your presence on Saturday.”

You nodded in acknowledgement and gestured to the door leading to the front. He took the hint for once and left. You followed him to the front door and saw him out.

He turned to you one last time. “Good day, (False Name). I have enjoyed our work together so far.”

You nodded once more. “Farewell, Cedric. Until Saturday.”

“Until then,” he said, turning and walking away.

You immediately closed the door and locked it.

While this was nowhere near the worst thing to ever happen to you and also not on your top twenty list for rash actions you’ve taken, this is still highly annoying. Unless you and Cedric neared some sort of breakthrough, you would be sticking to your Tuesday and Saturdays for the foreseeable future.

***

Cedric was on cloud nine the whole way back to the castle. (False Name) had yet to raise her voice against him and she still wished to see him come Saturday. Oh, this week would surely drag on forever!

Sofia called his name, “Mr. Cedric!”

Cedric grumbled but came to a stop, waiting for the princess to catch up to him. He sighed as she reached him, “Yes, princess?”

The brown-haired girl gave him a cheerful smile. “How was Miss (False Name)? I haven’t seen her in days. Is she okay?”

Cedric absolutely couldn’t help the dreamy look that passed over his face as he remembered how he had spent his day. “Oh, she is definitely more than okay, princess.”

Sofia gasped, “You mean she was happy?” 

She hadn’t seen Miss (False Name) happy since that time she and Cedric waited for her to arrive that one time. Miss (False Name) had certainly looked happy then, smiling as she thought about something while walking. Sofia hadn’t seen her smile like that before and hadn’t seen her smile like that since, not even at the celebration.

A sensation akin to cold water poured over Cedric and he frowned. He wouldn’t go that far. In fact, she reminded him of… well, himself, in that she only seemed to be tolerating the people around her. But still, she was tolerating _him_ and maybe in time…

Sofia tilted her head, “Mr. Cedric?”

Cedric came out of his thoughts. “Ah, right. She was perfectly fine. We accomplished quite a lot, if not what she is ultimately searching for.” His daydreams came back in full force and he beamed. “We two shall be working together for quite a while, I would hope.”

The young girl beamed and clapped her hands. “I hope so too!”

Cedric blushed slightly, torn between mortification and pleasant surprise that Sofia was genuinely cheering for him to court (False Name). After a moment his emotions settled on mortification and he spluttered, “N-Not that I mean anything by it! She’s just a talented sorceress and I enjoy working with her. That’s all!”

The princess just _giggled_ at him, staring at him as if to say she knew otherwise. Thankfully, instead of saying anything more on the subject, she changed topics. Slightly. “Spring is a long way off, at least. I’m sure you two will become good friends in the meantime!”

She really, _really_ wanted them to work out and for Mr. Cedric to get his happily ever after.

Cedric smiled dreamily. “Oh, yes. Hopefully we’ll become _very_ good friends.”

Back in Dunwiddie, you felt something crawl over your grave and you glanced around your shop in suspicion, rubbing your arms from a sudden and unknown chill.

***

It was late Wednesday morning when Ruby finally showed up again wearing a heavy cloak wrapped around her shoulders. A chilly breeze followed her into the shop before she closed the door and shivered loudly, “Whew! It’s starting to get cold outside!”

What was her first clue? The multi-colored foliage or the morning frosts?

Ruby walked up to the counter and smiled up at you. “I missed you, Miss (False Name)!” She glanced around your shop. “Has Jade come by?”

You eyed the child contemplatively, your gaze drifting from her face to her cloak. “No. There have been no children come to see me.”

Ruby sighed in relief. “Oh, good. I was worried that maybe she might have come alone and that I missed out on some fun.”

You sighed for a different reason. “Surely it isn’t that much fun to come here?”

The little girl climbed onto one of the stools and giggled at you over the counter. “It kind of is, actually. We get to talk to each other and to you, and you’re a sorceress! We both like you, Miss (False Name). It’s fun to come and see you.”

Someone preserve you from sappy children.

You tilted your head. “Where is Jade?”

Ruby sighed and leaned forward. “I went to her house but she wasn’t there. No one was home, actually. I looked around but I couldn’t find her anywhere.” She cupped her face and stared at you. “I’ve been sick and couldn’t see anyone, so I was really looking forward to seeing Jade and the others again.” She frowned, tilting her head slightly as she murmured, “Come to think of it, a lot of the other kids are sick too…”

Your mind snapped on to that piece of information with savage interest though your bland expression didn’t change in the slightest.

“Well, I came here to check if Jade was here,” Ruby continued, “But she isn’t, so I’m going to go check her house again. Maybe someone is home by now.” She hopped off the stool. “If you see Jade before I do, can you let her know that I’m looking for her?”

You gave an absent nod. Ruby grinned, “Thanks, Miss (False Name).”

Another chilly breeze drifted into your shop as Ruby departed. You tapped your forefinger against the counter, thinking.

Children getting sick? Perhaps something was going around. Perhaps this was seasonal.

But perhaps not.

You were going to investigate every source of water for the village and if nothing turned up then you were going to deepen your search.

You didn’t like Jade or Ruby nor did you care anything for the other village children.

But there was someone behind this then there was someone you could secretly and justifiably _eviscerate_ , a sacrifice upon which you could vent your frustrations and anger.

An eager grin briefly crossed your face as you exited the shop, heading for the nearest water source.

****

**Evil. Mistrust those who rejoice at it even more than those who do it.**

**~Victor Hugo**


	12. False Accusations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeepers. Even with two pairs of socks on, my feet are still cold. It makes everything worse~!
> 
> Regardless, here's the last chapter I have ready.
> 
> I'll be honest, it completely got away and mutated on me. I don't remember the original plan I had (I've gone through so many iterations, omg), but Forever Flu just came outta nowhere and clonked me on the head. o_o
> 
> I'm almost done chapter thirteen, so you won't have too long a wait. Chapter fourteen, however...

Sofia sniffled and blinked her eyes as she slowly walked into her room and closed the door behind her.

“Sof?”

She looked over at Clover who was by the window. She smiled tiredly. “Hey, Clover.”

The hare hopped over. “Are you okay, Sof?”

She kept the weary smile on her face. “I’m okay, just a little tired. I thought I’d come take a nap.”

Clover’s nose twitched. That… wasn’t really something Sofia did. Naps were almost never on the agenda. The princess was usually out and about, a bundle of energy that was hard to pin down. He hopped alongside her as she went over to her bed. Kicking off her shoes, the young princess slid under the covers still wearing her gown. Clover joined her on the bed and hopped near.

Sofia was already asleep.

Clover’s head drooped. Okay, that was weird. The kid was just… out like a light.

And she smelled off.

Inching closer, Clover sniffed at the sleeping girl. Oh yeah, her scent was off. He wouldn’t be able to articulate it any better than ‘off’. Worried, Clover settled down near her and watched as she slept on.

He’d see how this turned out before panicking. She might actually feel better if she just got a little sleep, right?

***

A river, a creek, three wells, and the occasionally the lake near the castle served as water sources for the village of Dunwiddie, so you gathered samples from each location and returned to your apothecary. Setting up in the back of the shop while the sign still read ‘Closed’ out front, you got to work analyzing the different water sources for poisons or toxins.

You started with the mundane and would work your way up to the more complex—

A sudden loud knocking came at the door, making you scowl in frustration. You waited for a moment, hoping the person at the door would just leave, but the knocking continued for several moments, loudly and persistently. Grumbling under your breath, you stood up and stalked over to the front door and faux calmly opened it while you silently seethed with irritation.

An unfamiliar man stood before you.

“Please,” he said quickly, which probably would have cut off any words you might’ve said if you’d bothered starting them. He wrung his hands. “I heard what you did for Samson’s boy. My daughter, Lily, she’s sick. Nothing the doctor’s recommend has worked. Can, uh, do you have anything that can help her?”

Ah, so more of Ruby’s generation are indeed sick.

You didn’t open the door any further but deigned to give the man some of your time. You asked, “Has the doctor given her any medicine to take?”

He nodded and rattled off a common medicine for colds. Mentally listing the ingredients, you asked a couple more questions, such as when she last took some and what effects it seemed to have. The man, the father, answered your questions. Finally, you opened the door and walked further into the interior to fetch a vial. Returning to the door, you gave the father the same disclaimer you had given that mother when you first set up shop. He left clutching the vial like it was a lifeline. 

Frowning at his departing back, you felt as though he hadn’t shared something important with you. Shrugging, you deemed it unimportant and returned to your work.

You had to work quickly before a potential horde descended upon your shop.

***

Baileywick discovered the sleeping Sofia, and after chasing Clover out of the room, he checked on the young princess. He was dismayed to find the girl running a fever. He summoned a maid to watch over her and left to inform the king and queen.

Queen Miranda quickly strode off to her daughter’s room. The king followed soon after, remaining only long enough to give Baileywick a command.

“Fetch the doctor at once, Baileywick.”

“Yes, your majesty.”

Baileywick sent the coach for the doctor and hoped he would arrive soon.

***

More than half a day passed as you continued searching the water for contaminants. Nothing obvious was being detected, so you had gone on to the subtler things that even you ever rarely used (after all, why be subtle when all you wanted were quick deaths?).

As you sprinkled in your current refined detection powder, the water in the test tube slowly changed pink as the powder sank in.

“ _Forever Flu_ ,” you breathed in success.

Forever Flu was a highly complex potion that was colorless and odorless when mixed into water, and could surely taint even a wide river and stay there until it reached the ocean where the salt water would negate it. This was not a fast acting potion, but a slow and enduring one. Any person who drank the tainted water and continued to drink it would eventually develop a chronic sickness that at first would come and go as a cold and then finally manifest as a deadly flu. If a person managed to fight it off, it would only return in a few days with not enough time to recover between bouts. This would continue as long as the person continued to drink the tainted water.

To combat Forever Flu, one had to find the perpetrator and make them cease feeding the potion into the water sources, otherwise one would have to constantly drink the counter potion Flu Free, or the severely complex and rare potion, Sure Cure.

Speaking of which, as you had been drinking from the same tainted water sources… You pulled out your green carpetbag from the magical depths of your robe. The potions in this carpetbag were the last of your potions made in Tenebris where you had had all the ingredients to make all the potions you knew, including Sure Cure. Holding the vial in question, you frowned at the half-full, glittering liquid. Sure Cure was precious, and you’d yet to succeed in making it without Tinder Berry seeds. You’ll stick with the pale blue Flu Free potion for now—

WAIT.

You groaned softly in aggravation. Both Flu Free and Sure Cure were severely limited, so unless you stopped the perpetrator from tainting the water sources with Forever Flu, then you’d have to keep drinking the cure and it will eventually run out, leaving you in the same boat as the rest of the villagers.

Grumbling, you returned Sure Cure and Flu Free to the carpetbag and returned the whole thing to the depths of your robe. Okay, so first you had to find the villain responsible for the Forever Flu before you started getting sick—

You paused, realizing something.

Forever Flu was from Umbra.

What was it doing _here?_

Your eyes narrowed again. Whoever it was had to have passed through Tenebris to escape Umbra. If you’d still been there… You shook your head. No use thinking about it.

Parvam had commanded you to leave.

He couldn’t have known he was sending away the only guard to the Gate left.

( _You hadn’t told him because your lips had been sealed on the subject, as it had been since time immemorial between the king and his royal sorceress._ )

Forcing yourself to concentrate on the matter at hand, you realized that since your stones hadn’t alerted you to an evil presence crossing it, the wells, if they were tainted, had been done before you set up the sensor stones. That left the creek and river as your only clues. You’d need a more detailed map, and you’d probably have more luck asking the king to lend you one or let you see one so you could duplicate it.

First, though, you had to confirm the number of tainted water sources before you went off searching up-river for the culprit.

Packing a spare carpetbag with empty vials for the water and the refined detection powder, you donned your hood and stepped out into the night.

***

You were just pouring well water into a jar for easier pouring into the vials when a shout suddenly came from behind.

“You there! What are you doing?!”

Turning, eyes narrowed in annoyance, you saw a group of three men, though none of them had a light source. One was standing in front and was pointing accusingly at you.

“I’m drawing water,” you replied coldly, irritated that you had to explain the obvious. Unfortunately, your carpetbag was out in the open and the powder was in a jar there. This… probably did seem suspicious, what with you wearing a hood and it being night. Okay, you’d give them that, but really, you weren’t guilty of doing anything so you weren’t going to kill any of them.

This time.

The man took an aggressive step forward. “You’re that sorceress who just moved here, right?”

Slowly turning so that your back wasn’t facing him, you answered in a continued cold tone. “Unless there is another, then yes, I am.”

He jabbed a finger at your feet. “What is that?”

You didn’t even glance down. “That is my carpetbag.”

“What’s in it?”

Your patience was wearing thin quickly. Oh for the days when you could subjugate any fool who dared question your actions…

“My vials and a detection powder.”

The men rushed forward aggressively.

_‘Live peacefully unless pressed.’_

Even as they grabbed your arms and pulled you away from the well, you remembered Parvam’s command. Technically, this could be defined as being ‘pressed’ and you would be justified in using your magic to defend yourself from being manhandled, but unless they got violent you’d let it slide. Well, in a manner of speaking. You wouldn’t do anything to them now, but later you most certainly would, though in a manner that could be passed off as bad luck or unfortunate circumstances.

So you let them drag you along while you wondered which form of revenge you’d take on them later.

***

The men had tied your wrists (and you had nearly lost it then, because you hate being tied, but managed to keep your temper in check). It was dark and the castle gates were closed when the men, a group grown from three to six along the way, dragged you there.

“Halt!” The heads of two guards popped into view up above. One called down, “State your names and your business!”

You idly remembered the names of each man for later. After the last man yelled back his name and confirmation he was from Dunwiddie, the original aggressor yelled back the explanation for their late night visit.

“The village children are sick, and they’re not getting better! Well, they do, but only for a day or two before they are ill again!” He gestured behind him towards you. “We found this sorceress tampering with the well water in the southeast part of the village! We want King Roland to judge her!”

The guards glanced at each other. It wasn’t well-known, but the young royal children had fallen ill just yesterday. First it had been Princess Sofia, then Princess Amber and Prince James later that same day. The King and Queen were worried, and rightly so. They looked back at the gathered men and you.

“Okay, you may proceed!” The guard in charge turned to his companion and called, “Take them to the Captain of the Guard! He’ll decide if the king needs to be informed before morning!”

The other nodded and both disappeared from sight. After a minute or two, the gates opened enough for three to pass through side-by-side, presumably for you and the two holding your arms. The group entered the castle grounds and were escorted up to the castle to wait for the Captain of the Guard.

As you waited, you tried very hard to not let your mind wander as this was not the time to get lost in your thoughts, doubly so when your hands were tied. Really, you were technically in a vulnerable position right now. A quick stab to your gut and you could meet your end here in this piddling, peaceful kingdom far away from Tenebris.

Oh, the dark mages in Umbra would be torn between gleeful laughter and disbelieving scorn.

Sometime while you imagined various foes reacting to your death at the hands of peasant in some fairy tale kingdom, the Captain of the Royal Guards arrived. Staring at the large, round man, you felt the familiar tug of instant-dislike ( **he** had been big and round and disgusting, and you’d been too thin and _weak_ —).

Your thoughts stalled as you forcefully thought about _anything else_. When they started moving you again, you focused on the moving of your feet (and not escaping and cutting them down, you were _ordered_ , you would **obey** ).

King Roland eventually appeared in the throne room where you’d been brought. The Captain of the Royal Guards was right behind him, no doubt having informed him of the situation thus far. He stopped in front of his throne, level on the floor with the rest of the group.

“(False Name), there have been accusations against you. I sincerely hope there is no truth to them.” He waved off the men holding your arms. “Please, tell me what you were doing to the well.”

Standing straight (but still _boiling_ beneath the surface), you answered him. “I was drawing water from the well, your majesty. I wished to test the water of not only that well, but the remaining wells, and also the creek and the river.”

Roland exchanged a glance with the Captain. “And what did you hope to find?”

“How many water sources were tainted with Forever Flu.”

The men behind you muttered and grumbled darkly under their breath. Fathers and uncles, and-or friends of fathers and uncles, no doubt.

Concern passed over Roland’s face. “What is ‘Forever Flu’?”

“I believe it is what is causing the children’s sickness. Forever Flu starts as a potion. It is a potent and enduring one, capable of tainting even a river. It is difficult to detect as it is commonly and falsely identified as a mere outbreak of sickness, troubling but beatable. Typically, delivery is made through nearby water sources. Once enough tainted water is consumed, the symptoms of a cold appear. The victim gets sick, but then gets better.

“However, it is called _Forever_ Flu for a reason.”

Here, the Captain frowned in concern and Roland’s lips pursed in displeasure. You continued the explanation. True, you could’ve said ‘it makes the user sick forever’, but such a blunt delivery would most likely be a mark against you

“The victim becomes chronically ill, afflicted by a series of colds before they are struck by the flu. A flu can be deadly, as most people know. If it is fought off, it only returns, stronger if the person has continued drinking the affected water. Eventually, the victim dies, unable to keep fighting off the sickness.”

Roland took a step forward. “Is there a cure?”

You held your silence for a moment before deciding to not mention your reserves of Flu Free and Sure Cure. “From my land, there is. However, at least seven different components of the counter potion, Flu Free, are not available to me, nor are eight others for a different potion I know of that could help. Besides which, even if I had the cure, Forever Flu will keep its potency as long as the culprit responsible keeps tainting the water sources.”

The king looked stricken as you confessed that you did not have the cure.

The captain asked you a question. “Why are only the children getting sick?”

You shifted your eyes over to him. “Oh, they’re smaller, so it affects them quicker. The rest of the populace will eventually start feeling the effects, from smallest to largest. If this budding epidemic runs its course, you will lose the weakest first, which are typically the young, the old, and the those who already suffer from illnesses.”

Both the king and the captain exchanged panicked glances. The men behind you yelled.

“You know too much! You must be the perpetrator!”

“We caught you red-handed trying to put more of this Forever Flu in the well!”

More yelling, which you did not deign to acknowledge, instead staring straight at the king. He held his hand up and the men quieted.

“(False Name), how do you know that it is Forever Flu?” He paused. “ _Did_ you put it in our kingdom’s water sources?”

Your lips twitched. “I learned of it from books, and I have come across it twice before in my life. I only know it is Forever Flu because I tested the water sources for the village after learning Ruby had been ill, and possibly Jade as well. As for if I put it in the water sources, no, I did not.”

Roland spoke. “You said you wanted to test the water. How did you intend to do so?”

“On the spot, preferably,” you answered. “At that point, all I would have to do is pour some water from each place into a vial and then sprinkle it with the detection powder I had on hand. In that manner I would be able to number and identify which water sources were tainted.”

Staring down at you, the king asked, “And what were plans after that?”

“Find the culprit, hopefully,” you said honestly. Though really, you’d have much preferred to avoid this current situation, as now you probably wouldn’t be able to take said culprit and ‘vanish’ them. “If they continue pouring Forever Flu into the river, wells, and what-have-you, then the sickness would only continue to strengthen its hold on whoever drank it. 

“ _I_ have drunk from these sources, thus I too am afflicted with Forever Flu. It is just a matter of time before even I begin to suffer its effects. I know how the potion works, thus I know that I must find and stop the culprit before I can begin to find a cure, otherwise my efforts will be for naught.”

Roland turned to the captain and began talking to him under his breath. The men behind you were still muttering, though some had lost the heat in their voice. Reflecting on your explanation, you doubted if you had been clear on one particular point and spoke up.

“Your majesty.”

Roland turned his attention back to you.

“I must be clear: Forever Flu takes a while to take hold, but once it does, I know of only two potions that can save the afflicted. _Also_ , tainted water must be countered with Flu Free or Sure Cure, otherwise it stays. If poured into a well, and no counter potions available, the well must be given up as a lost cause. If poured into a river, the counter potions must be poured in at the starting point, otherwise it will continue to flow until it reaches salt water.”

The captain spluttered at the implications. Everyone who drank from the river would be in danger! That river even continued on through two, perhaps three more kingdoms!

Roland, looking increasingly worried at your words, suddenly perked up. “So salt water can negate Forever Flu?”

You slowly blinked. “I am unaware, as I know no one who would willingly drink copious amounts of salt water, especially when already sick.”

His face fell. “True… and I doubt many parents would be successful in getting ill children to try a foul-tasting cure that might not even work.”

You added, “And drinking salt water can _cause_ health problems, as well.”

A serious expression crossed Roland’s face. “(False Name), is it possible the villain behind this is a sorcerer?”

You nodded. “It is more than likely.”

His expression did not falter. “You said the cure to Forever Flu was from your home land. I take that to mean Forever Flu is from there as well.”

You shrugged your shoulders slightly. “Technically the neighboring lands have them too.” You continued quickly to cut off any further questions. “I cannot return to my former kingdom. I was ordered to leave.”

He pondered that for a moment. “Did you commit a crime?”

As Tenebris knew them, no. “Not according to the laws of our land. The king did not want me to remain after his death, so he ordered me to leave the day he died.”

Roland asked, “Did he order you to never return?”

You opened your mouth and paused. Your mouth slowly slid closed as you recalled the orders Parvam gave you. He ordered you to leave… yet he gave no order that you could never return. Your eyes were wide as you breathed, “He did not.”

Roland stepped forward. “Then (False Name), I ask you. No, I…” He paused, surely thinking of his young children. “I beseech you. Return to your land, wherever it may be. I know you don’t like to discuss it, but please, return there, gather everything you will need, and return here to brew the cure! The children, no, all the people of Dunwiddie, of _Enchancia_ , are relying on you. Please, as a king and as a father, I ask this mighty favor of you.”

You wriggled your hands, and one of the men took the hint and released you from your bindings. Rubbing your wrists, you silently pondered Roland’s request. In truth, you had no interest in Tenebris, not without Parvam there. By now the castle will have surely descended into anarchy as the remaining nobles vied for the crown.

_’Suffer no false king of Tenebris.’_

Oh, now _there_ was a reason to return. You could vent your built up frustration on any fool who sat on the throne and it wouldn’t go against your orders!

So where you had been thinking of just leaving Enchancia and washing your hands of the affair, you decided instead to answer Roland’s call. You couldn’t stay in Tenebris because your orders were to live beyond Umbra, but you could go for a while, long enough to do what you wanted and to complete Roland’s request.

But for all they call you a hero, you are not without selfishness.

Still, no need to senselessly shatter the illusion they built for themselves. If you played it right, you would get what you wanted at a later point, and the fewer people who died the better, though only in correlation to getting what you wanted, of course.

“It pains me to return against the implied wish of my former king, even if my life is on the line.” That being that you were infected by the potion mixed into the water. You paused for dramatic effect. “…But it’s not just my life at risk here, is it?” You closed your eyes and sighed. “Very well. I will return to my home land for what is needed.”

“Excellent!” Roland turned to the captain. “Constable Myles, prepare a carriage for (False Name) at once!”

The man nodded and left at a quick pace.

Roland nodded at the men behind you. “You may return to the village. I ask you not to discuss what you have heard here. We don’t want the other villagers to panic.”

You heard the men murmuring assent and shuffling as they left.

Baileywick entered the throne room. “The queen told me you were down here. Prince James’s condition hasn’t changed, nor has Sofia’s. The queen thinks they will be fine a couple of days.”

The king pursed his lips, knowing different. He’d explain later. “Baileywick, I need to write a letter to the kingdoms between here and…” He glanced at you. “(False Name), which direction is your former kingdom in?”

“Northwest of Enchancia,” you replied. Yes, far northwest and hidden behind a strange mist over the ocean.

He looked back at Baileywick and finished his sentence. “Between here and the northwest.” He walked as he talked and Baileywick followed. “It will be a general letter, addressed to royalty families, asking them to provide (False Name) with a fresh carriage and team of flying horses…”

The king’s voice trailed off in the distance, and you were left in the middle of an empty throne room. You stood there for a minute, mentally listing the things you would grab from your shop before leaving Dunwiddie when you suddenly remembered that Roland hadn’t addressed the issue of searching for and-or capturing the ‘villain’ behind the Forever Flu incident. As you were mostly certain it was a dark mage or other dark magical person, it would take a magical person to capture them, or at least lessen the casualties that non-magical folk would take. You didn’t care, per se, about the potential deaths of soldiers or volunteers, but you did want to get your hands on the aforementioned culprit…

Striding quickly further into the castle, you made a beeline for Cedric’s tower.

**Self-interest lies behind all that men do, forming the important motive for all their actions; this rule has never deceived me.**

**~Marquis de Sade**


	13. It's Not Home Anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here's chapter thirteen.
> 
> I don't know when chapter fourteen will be (real life is interfering), but rest assured, it will arrive eventually.
> 
> I hope to get real life out of the way so I can keep writing while this particular fandom obsession has its hold on me. :)

On your way to Cedric’s tower, as an afterthought, you sent back a message to be written in the air declaring your location in case Roland returned before you did. With that taken care of, you quickly ascended the stairs to Cedric’s door where you proceeded to knock loudly and then paused to listen for a reply from the other side.

When none came, you pulled out your wand and gave it a flick so that a soft, glowing bubble appeared at the tip. Bring the bubble close to your lips, you spoke. “Cedric, open the door. I need to speak with you.”

With another flick of your wrist, the bubble left your wand and slipped right through the locked door. As you waited, you remembered that you knew where the key was, but as you didn’t know where he slept, the point was moot.

…what _would_ Cedric do if you just suddenly appeared over his bed in the dead of night? Scream, probably. Perhaps try to murder you, though that might just be you projecting your reaction on him.

Soon you heard the sound of footsteps on the other side of the door, and said door swung open to reveal a slightly disheveled Cedric. He opened his mouth, no doubt to babble and stutter about your unexpected presence, and you didn’t want to listen to that so you cut him off and started talking first.

“Do not interrupt me.” You proceeded to give him a quick rundown of the situation. Concern passed over his face when you mentioned that Princess Sofia was sick, and likely a victim of Forever Flu. You finished the explanation by informing him that you were leaving soon to collect the ingredients to counter the cursed potion, but added, “Cedric. It’s highly likely that a magical from my old kingdom or neighboring kingdom is responsible.”

You met his eyes. “You must be careful if you face them. They are likely to fight, and we tend to fight to the death, especially when cornered.” 

He swallowed nervously.

You lifted one side of your robe and peered into it, not noticing the way Cedric blushed and glanced away. Remembering where you put the item you were looking for, you reached into a pocket and felt four stones. Taking just one between your fingers, you pulled it out and let your robe drop down against your chest.

“Cedric.”

The sorcerer looked back at you.

You held up the yellow stone so he could see it. It was smooth and small. You originally had nine of these stones, returned to you the same day you received your grandmother’s legacy, but in your life until you left Tenenbris, you saw fit to only part of five of the nine you should have given. If you could take it back upon your return without his death, you would, but as you did not serve a king of Tenebris anymore there was no need to be strict with whom you chose to give these stones. 

Besides which, they were only ever as powerful as you let them be.

“This is a Link Stone. With this, you can access any spell I choose to share with you specifically. The spell I want to share with you is a banishing spell from my former kingdom, in hopes that if you cross paths with the dark mage responsible for this situation, you can use it to defend yourself.” Lie. If that was a possibility, then you wanted Cedric to banish said dark mage to place where you could get at them, not because you were concerned about his safety. “Will you accept this stone?”

***

Cedric pursed his lips, mentally listing the pros and cons of accepting (False Name)’s sudden ‘gift’. His instinctive reaction would be to say yes, because this a gift from _her_ , of all people. However, on the other hand, people might see this as him leeching off her, and he already had quite enough trouble from people looking down on him already, thank you.

Her voice cut into his thoughts. “I don’t have much time, Cedric.”

His gaze flicked back up to her impassive face. She continued, “I will be leaving soon, and I don’t know when I will return. Do you wish to face an evil from my former kingdom and not have a way to quickly end that fight? If so, then simply refuse the stone rather than waste my time.”

He cringed slightly at the impatience starting to leak into her voice. This was the first time he could clearly hear it. His shoulders drooped. “I accept.”

She took his hand and the action made him straighten his back. She pressed the stone into his palm and let go. “Put this stone at the tip of your strongest wand, but we warned: once placed, it only comes off when one of us dies, so choose wisely.”

***

You held up a hand to cut off whatever he was about to say. “Time is of the essence. Pay attention.

“The words for the Banishment spell are: _victa et vicit_.”

He repeated the words back and you corrected him. Repetition annoyed you, but you understood its necessity when learning new things. Soon his pronunciation was satisfactory.

You nodded. “That will have to do.” You took a step back. “If it glows brightly, just ignore it.”

You turned and headed back down the stairs, ignoring his spluttered calls and questions.

Striding back into the throne room, you found Baileywick just leaving the king where he stood beside your message written in the air. He greeted you. “(False Name), I was just about to go get you.”

“No need now,” you replied, waving your wand to erase the floating message. 

You both walked back to the king who handed you an envelope shut with a royal wax seal. Roland explained, “The coachman has order to push the horses as fast as he can, and to land at the castle or palace of the nearest royalty when they begin to tire. This letter will, hopefully, get you a fresh set of horses and a new coachman to continue. In this manner, we hope you will reach your destination all the quicker.”

You slid the envelope into your robes. “I will be stopping at my shop in the village before I begin the journey in earnest.”

He nodded. “Please, go quickly.”

You nodded in return and strode out of the throne room. Roland and Baileywick followed you and watched from the top of the stairs as you descended to meet the waiting, capable of flying coach.

You gave your order to the coachman, and he set the horses off in a quick trot towards the village. Sitting back, you listed all the things you might need, and exactly where you would have to fetch them from. When the coach stopped in the village, you disappeared into your shop for ten minutes before emerging again to magically lock and protect the building.

Dawn was still hours away when the flying coach disappeared from the view of Dunwiddie.

***

In the two days since he sent (False Name) back to her homeland, Roland has been busy. He was worried about Enchancia and his children, but he couldn’t forget the other kingdoms that shared the river that ran through his kingdom. He sent official letters to the royal families of those kingdoms warning them of the ‘Forever Flu’ that tainted the water.

Thankfully, from what he understood of (False Name)’s explanation, the taint in the water was diluted, especially the farther one was from the originating spot. The farther villages would be showing signs of afflictions much later than someone halfway from the originating area. Unfortunately for his people, they seemed to be near, if not actually, ground zero, so they were the first to feel the effects.

The village doctor—actually the royal doctor, but Roland had placed him in the village for the sake of the villagers who suffered illness more often that the royal family did—was becoming beleaguered by worried parents and sick children, plus a few of the more elderly villagers. The people were coming to him with their worries, pleading for a solution he could not give them just yet.

And this wasn’t even the worst this situation could become.

Sighing, Roland slowly rubbed his temple. He wished Miranda were with him at the moment, but she was going back and forth between the three children. They were getting better, but both he, she and Baileywick knew the children were going to get sick again. Cedric could help them stretch out the time between then and now through a combination of his potions and magically conjured water, but he feared it was only a matter of time.

(False Name) did call it _Forever_ Flu…

***

You stared at the looming wall of fog before your sailboat. Somewhere in that mass of thick, roiling fog was Umbra, a hidden place difficult to find and difficult to escape. When you first left, you never imagined you would be back. It had never even _occurred_ to you to go back, because aside from being ordered to leave, there was nothing left for you there.

Anyone important to you was dead and burned, their ashes scattered to the wind.

Parvam, whom you always saw as that frail boy you first laid eyes on, your only friend…

Grandmother, who loved you and tried so hard to protect you even when she wasn’t present, whom you loved and admired so much…

Mother, who didn’t love you enough to stay, yet enough to not take you with her, whom you still resent and love in equal measure…

Clover, so small and ugly, who never had a chance to grow up or live even a year, whom you held in your arms only twice…

You sat down and lowered your eyes to the bottom of the sailboat.

You did not cry, nor feel the need to shed tears…

…but the heavy weight in your chest let you know that you did miss them all so very, very much…

***

It’s been four days since (False Name) left on her quest, and though the king has sent the royal guard to search upriver for the culprit she thought existed, nothing has been reported back, nor has he, Cedric, been asked to go out on the search with them. On the other hand, Roland did advise him to be ready to set out a moment’s notice, so maybe they were just waiting for the right moment.

Sighing, Cedric sat down on his stool as his current potion slowly bubbled away in its cauldron.

The Link Stone she gave him has yet to be attached to wand, too.

It seemed to be gleaming accusingly at him from where it sat on his desk. He’d been staring at it on and off for the past couple of days between his brewing potions to help the children fend off their sickness. They had seen an improvement, but the king had already informed him of what to expect. The children were going to get sick again, over and over until they were either cured or their bodies gave up fighting. This fate was not only theirs, but also shared between all who had been drinking non-magically-conjured water.

King Roland had summoned the fairies from Royal Prep to ask if they could purify the waters of its taint, but their efforts had been without success. A jar of (False Name)’s detection powder had been delivered by a village guard the morning after she left, and every test after the fairies’ attempts to remove the taint had been… well, the water drawn after each attempt continued to turn pink.

As a further test, Roland had asked both him and the fairies to conjure water and for Cedric to test each. Neither his conjured water nor the fairies’ had turned pink, so (False Name)’s detection powder actually worked and didn’t just turn water pink (he’d bristled in insult on her behalf at Roland’s words but said nothing).

As a result of the water test, Cedric had been commanded to fill up several massive barrels for both the castle and the village down below. Water usage was limited, and the villagers had been asked to consider letting the children, the pregnant, the elderly and the infirm have first dibs on the water. And because there were so many villagers, Cedric had to make frequent trips down there to keep the barrels full. 

Sighing again, Cedric stood up and added the next ingredient to his potion.

He deliberately did not think of the yellow stone still on his desk.

***

Umbra was massive, yet for all its space, one would eventually run into the Wall, that magical, treacherous mountain range that circled the entire land. Most inhabitants were too busy fighting or trying to survive to realize where they were, where they had been born in, but you had known since the day you received your legacy.

Anyone with a map would know that the Wall ran the ultimate length of the land, but very few would actually care about what lies beyond. The few who did care would sometimes try to find a way beyond, and desperate peasants frequently tried their luck, but those who entered the mountain’s range were rarely seen alive again.

Umbra was a _prison_ , and you were the guard to the only gate in or out of it.

This was knowledge known only to the Royal Sorceress of Tenebris, and her words were sealed against speaking of it, even to her own heiress and the King. Only when one took the role of the royal sorceress did knowledge of the gateway become known to them, and even then it was knowledge that could not be shared.

To get to the gate from Umbra’s side, one had to find their way to the deepest part beneath the castle of Tenebris and enter the archway there. Then they had to follow the tunnel until reaching the open cavern. The gate itself could only be locked or opened from that side, and only your family’s blood could command the gate to open or close. From there, one had to follow another tunnel, one which would eventually give way to water and an exit at the mountain’s base to the ocean covered the Labyrinth Fog, the first defense against attackers and the last obstacle to escapees from Umbra.

You had found your way back through the Fog and traversed the length of the tunnels to emerge in the depths of the castle dungeons. During your travel through the tunnels, you had cast a tracking spell, lighting up any footsteps that had been taken in the tunnels. There were more than just your set, and nearly every single set had been one way: towards the exit. Your suspicions back in Enchancia had been correct. You were not the only one to leave Umbra.

Pausing to take a moment to cast a sensory spell, you could sense the presence of others above in the higher levels of the dungeons as well as lifeforms in the castle higher still. The castle was full of humans who no doubt sought to use the it for their own purposes.

An unexpected flood of memories suddenly flashed across your mental vision. This castle was where Prince Parvam lived, grew, and died, where you lived with your mother and grandmother, but it was also the place of your prison and… ‘education’. Glimpses of your magical control training assaulted you; the sting of the whip, the burning of the torch and brands, the heavy weight of your water laden hair and clothing, the numb sensation of hanging from your arms, the painful stretch of the rack… Mendax’s cruel laughter and raised voice, grandfather’s flat tone and lightless eyes, the fearful and useless pity of the chambermaids, the indifference of the guards and dungeon masters… your tears and unanswered hopes—

Pinching your side roughly, you forced yourself to stop thinking of the past. Hissing slightly, you released your hand and held it over the assaulted spot.

After several moments to collect yourself and force everything to the distant background of your mind, you began your ascension to the castle above.

***

Sofia was currently sitting on Amber’s bed with her sister while their mother left the room to go see their father.

Sofia studied her blonde sister and saw the remnants of her cold in the paleness of her face, but other than that, Amber seemed to be on her way to recovery. Tucking her nightgown over her feet, Sofia hummed cheerfully, glad that not only her brother but her sister was on their way to being well again.

“These past few days have been positively dreadful,” Amber complained. She held her fan in her hand but didn’t wave or flutter it around. “I can hardly wait to get back to Royal Prep and catch up on all the news the other princesses might have.”

Sofia perked up. “Oh, yeah! I’m looking forward to seeing Jun, Vivian and the others, too!”

Amber smirked prettily. “And I’m sure James can hardly wait to be up and about again as well.” She frowned slightly. “Although it is odd that all three of us would get sick at the same time…”

“Maybe it’s because we see each other so often,” Sofia suggested.

Amber sighed and brushed a stray hair from her face. “I’m tired of wearing pajamas and eating liquid food. I want to put on a gown and eat pancakes!”

Sofia giggled. “Do you think they’d let us eat pancakes if we asked?”

A smile crossed Amber’s face. “Well, we _are_ feeling much better, so I don’t see why they would refuse. Let’s ask!”

Sofia bounded over to the rope to ring the bell to summon one of the maids.

She hoped they would let them eat pancakes!

***

It was only as you reached the kitchens that you decided to leave any possible new ‘king’ for the last thing you’d do before leaving again. Nodding to yourself, you decided: potion materials first, kill the king last.

Hexing any witnesses to forget they saw you, a quick exit was made from the castle, and soon the castle grounds itself. Stealthily making your way through the village, you briefly noted the increased shabbiness of the buildings and the visible despondency of the people. You gritted your teeth, not out personal empathy, but in annoyance that your work for Parvam had been so cleanly undone.

( _Parvam was so proud when he learned that Tenebris was the safest kingdom in Umbra to live in. He **praised** your magic and efforts and smiled at you._ )

Shaking your head, you exited the village and entered the forest.

First, the mourning moss and decade bark…

***

Inops was thirteen-year old orphan girl, and her future looked bleak.

After the death of King Parvam, the Royal Sorceress had disappeared, and with them went the peace, prosperity and safety of the kingdom. It wasn’t long before the remaining nobility started fighting for the throne, and the villagers were soon caught up in their battles. Her brothers and mother had fallen in the first year, but it was only recently that her father passed away, leaving her alone.

It wasn’t good for girls to be alone. Already she knew of four who had gone missing, and any day _she_ could be the next one to just vanish.

Sitting in an alleyway with her legs tucked close to her chest, Inops stared at the end of the alleyway and wondered what point there was to life.

Not too long ago, there had been plenty of reasons. Her family, her friends, seeing the King and his Royal—

A familiar hooded robe passed by, and Inops froze in recognition.

That… that was…!

Scrambling out from her hiding place, Inops ran to the street and looked in the direction the Royal Sorceress had gone.

( _She lifted her wand and the village gardens were growing vegetables at a quick rate. She waved her wand again and the trees nearby were suddenly laden with apples and oranges ripe for picking. They cheered and clapped, but she only had eyes for the distant figure of the sickly king high above._ )

She was gone.

Terrible hope filled her chest and tears welled up in her eyes.

They didn’t need a king.

They just need the Royal Sorceress.

If they could have her, then they could go back to having happy lives!

Sliding down to cry into her arms, Inops never realized just how insignificant her suffering and the suffering of the other villagers truly was to the one on whom she and they pinned so many hopes.

***

Lignum, warlock of the castle forest, normally did not care too much if people or magical folk harvested items from his territory. However, strip harvesting—taking everything in one’s path—was something he absolutely and utterly _did not appreciate_.

Thus, here is was, racing along in vine form, racing along a picked clean chain of areas. His first clue was a bald patch of mourning moss, then two more bald moss patches, and when he came to a tree stripped bare of its decade bark his judgement had been cast on the so-far faceless pirate. Death was coming, but it would not be mercifully swift.

Finally, bursting into a clearing, he saw the back of the culprit.

And switched back into his human state out of pure shock.

The Royal Sorceress deigned to turn to look at him while her magic plucked clean yet another patch of mourning moss. First she returns from nowhere, and now she is ruthlessly harvesting the bounty of the forest! His strangled voice croaked.

“ _Why?_ ”

Her hooded head tilted slightly. She said nothing, but he heard her all the same.

_Because I can._

The cold, distant, and arrogant Royal Sorceress… his Master.

When his next lucid memory is of twilight in the forest, he’s dismayed ( _they need her_ ) but not surprised.

(Name) was never one to talk when she could just make the other person go away instead.

***

You watched impassively as Lignum abruptly turned around and walked away. He had enough thought left to protect himself, and he would remember that he’d seen you, but he would have no memory of between the moment you cast your spell on him and the moment it broke.

In your days as the Royal Sorceress, Lignum had been useful, and killing him would be a waste ( _what if you needed him some distant day?_ ). All Heads of your Hydra had been useful, even if you only had five back when Parvam was alive. They’d earned the right to be able to walk away if they came across you when you were angry or frustrated.

Sighing, you turned back to watch your magic continue harvesting the mourning moss. Silence reigned, and you slowly crossed your arms.

_~”They had reason to call me cruel—“~_

_smack_

You clamped your hands over your mouth in horror.

YOU WERE NOT GOING TO BURST INTO SONG!

NO!

NO.

No.

No…

You kept your teeth pressed firmly together as you slowly lowered your hands. You could feel your face was heated, and you glanced around to make sure there were no witnesses. The forest rustled in a breeze, but no living presence was near. Inhaling slowly, you held a breath before slowly letting it out.

_Singing was contagious._

You glared as the last of the moss disappeared into a bag. The bag flew into your hand and you tucked it into the depths of your robe as you stalked off in search of moonlit pine needles. Singing was a distraction that could get you killed.

You were going to die someday, that was an unavoidable truth, but you would prefer it if it didn’t happen during something stupid like mid-song!

Resisting the urge to run a hand through your hair or stomp towards your destination, you slid through the forest and forced yourself to think of what you else you had to collect and in what quantities.

Now, as it would probably be a long while until—if—you ever bothered coming back, so you might as well grab a few other things too.

***

When Jade and Ruby went to go see (False Name), they found that they couldn’t find her shop.

Jade frowned in confusion as she stared down the street they just walked down. “I’m not crazy, right, Ruby? We didn’t just imagine the sorceress, right?”

Ruby hummed under her breath, tugging on the inside of her cloak. “I’m pretty sure she’s real and that this is the street she lives on. I don’t know why we can’t find her shop, though.” Her teeth chattered. “We should get inside somewhere. I promised mom I wouldn’t be outside long.”

Jade huffed in defeat. “Yeah, me too. Come on, we can go to my house and play dolls.”

The two girls walked off talking happily, not realizing they were passing (False Name)’s shop as though it didn’t exist.

***

At the dawn of your second day in Tenebris, an inexplicable itch beneath your skin had begun to grate on your nerves. You knew it was futile to try and alleviate the itch as it was the beginning of the manifestation of your punishment for disobeying the King’s orders. Eventually the itch would become a full body shock, and that was something you were keen to avoid, so when you finished grabbing the last of what you wanted—a colony of forest fairies—you turned back for Tenebris castle.

Hours later, when you looked up at the looming structure from a village street, you couldn’t even pretend to imagine Parvam still living within its walls. The bright castle drapes that hung along the walls were torn and dingy, and the village Parvam was so insistent be kept safe was dead silent and dark, even in this relatively early evening hour.

Nothing of Parvam nor anyone else you cared for remained in the castle.

There was no reason to leaving it standing this time.

***

It had been a long day of counting his gold, so King Cupiditas deeply enjoyed lounging amongst the beautiful women of his harem. The castle and right to rule had been hard won from the others who had vied for power, but now he was the ruler, the supreme authority, of all of Tenebris! Relaxing like this was his due and would not be denied to him for a single day.

As the women attended to his needs, he closed his eyes in relaxation, relishing in the sensations they gave him.

The door to his pleasure chambers opened, and he opened his eyes in a rage. He had given specific orders that he was not to be disturbed!

His blood froze in his veins at the sight of the Royal Sorceress ( _she who served Kings and held their realm, she who was **incomparable**_ ).

The bitch hadn’t been seen since the day that Parvam, that pathetic excuse for man and king, had died! No one, not even her personally chosen elite sorcerers, had seen hide nor hair of her, so why now?!

Well, surely it was no matter ( _she doted on the frail king in a way no one had ever seen the Royal Sorceress behave towards her King_ ) because _he_ was the King of Tenebris!

( _rumors were that the Royal Sorceress was the King’s **friend**_ )

“Well, I see you have returned to serve the King of Tenebris.”

( _they were rarely apart, and never for very long_ )

Her head tilted slightly, as if considering his words. “Why… yes, I have.”

( _King Parvam kept **looking** at his personal sorceress as though she were… **human**_ )

“Bow to your new King, Royal Sorceress.” He gestured magnanimously for her to obey.

His eyes widened as her wand came into view.

“No—“

***

You ignored the surviving, fleeing, screaming harem women as you calmly surveyed the bloody remains of what was once Duke Cupiditas. His head was intact, but most of his chest cavity and the vital organs normally located there were so much splattered mush. Distastefully, you cast a spare glance at the room before turning and leaving. Truly he had embodied everything you reviled in a man: fatness, entitlement, hideousness and lust.

Three of the harem women had been caught in your spell, but that was inconsequential.

You are much appreciative that the magic that chains you _at least_ makes the distinction between a true King of Tenebris and a false one—

You came to a stop as yellow sparks of a failed magic bolt originated from behind you. Turning, you saw a young witch and wizard there, too alike to be anything other than twins.

The boy kept his wand pointed at you, most likely the caster of the failed magic attack. “You killed the king!”

The girl behind him glared at you over his shoulder. “You will not escape this castle alive!”

You huffed a quiet breath as they began flinging spells at you. Your wand hand was quick, and soon you were easily parrying their spells.

These _children_ were barely even moving around ( _“A still sorceress is a dead sorceress.”_ )! Rank amateurs, really.

Your instincts screamed, and you jumped aside as enchanted daggers flew past where your body had just been. Ah-hah, the ‘real’ big bad had finally arrived.

The dark mage behind you was a woman. Perhaps the mother of the rookie twins?

“Lacus won’t face you, but _I will!_ ”

Lacus, the Fourth Head, middle aged and inclined towards water magic. Wise to not show his face, especially if he helped put Cupiditas on the throne.

As you began fighting a battle from two sides, you briefly wondered if this was Lacus’ family. As he was a Head you forced into servitude, he didn’t talk about himself, so you knew little of him beyond what he was capable of with magic. Well, whether or not they are, if he’s left them to your nigh non-existent mercy then they must not mean all that much to him.

“ _LACUS!_ ”

The woman screeched in rage as she stared at something behind you, and a conjured mirror to show you what was behind you revealed an empty corridor.

Well, he cared enough to rescue the brats.

The woman in front of you, however, was not going to get away.

( _a false king, and one of your Hydra Heads **put him there**_ )

Burning her and this awful new castle décor might help vent your frustrations.

***

“The castle is burning!”

Semper was not surprised. If anything, he’s surprised it didn’t burn earlier. Grinning back at the panicked messenger, he quipped, “I shall fetch a roasting stick and have myself a merry bonfire dinner!”

The messenger glared at him. “I don’t why I tell you anything.”

Smirking, he knows they both already know the answer, but he can’t resist replying anyway. “Because in their absence, I’m the boss.”

The messenger muttered under his breath as he left to inform the other important, non-magical personnel in their little hideout, “Yeah, telling the Duke that really worked out in our favor…”

Ignoring the displeased muttering of the riffraff, Semper pulled out his compact mirror and opened it up, calling, “Lignum.”

An older man’s face appeared, his eyes shadowed by his own sorcerer’s hood and a mostly brown beard hanging from the lower, visible half of his face. He grumbled in a rough voice, “What is it, Semper?”

The warlock cheerfully announced, “The castle is burning. Can you find out who’s burning it?”

Lignum, never one to take advantage of sarcastic opportunities, ignored the chance to say ‘I hadn’t noticed the great flaming castle that looms above my forest domain’, and chose instead to stroke his beard before giving a boring reply. “Perhaps, if I can catch someone who has managed to both witness the perpetrator and escape with their life.”

“Inform me when you have an answer,” Semper ordered before closing the compact shut.

Striding out from the hidden haven, Semper quickly covered the distance to the closest lookout spot with a view of the faraway Tenebris castle. Yes, it was indeed burning.

He sighed and placed a hand under his chin.

It was going to very annoying to have to build a new one.

***

Lignum will inform Semper of his suspicions that (Name) was the one to burn the castle, but not until much later. After all, while Semper is the First Head, Lignum owed him nothing and liked him a whole lot less. Besides which, (Name), their Master, would no doubt make herself widely known if she wanted them to come to her, or she’d summon them herself. Since she had gone to the effort of hiding her return, it was obvious to him that she had no intention of staying, thus it would only be a fool who ratted out her presence.

Lignum was many things—a warlock, a hermit, a murderer—but not a fool, not twice.

He’d already learned his lesson at the end of her scythe and wand, and he had no desire to experience the end of her patience again…

***

As you walked back down the tunnels towards Umbra’s exit, you cast six separate magical barriers behind you. You couldn’t lock the gate from this side, but you could at least make it more difficult to escape. Forever wasn’t your concern, nor was the short-term.

You just wanted to frustrate the next person who tried to come this way.

( _”You have always had a strange sense of humor. I admit it escapes me, but when it hits you, I can see it in your eyes, if not on your lips.”_ )

As you boarded your sailboat to leave Umbra for a second time, you idly wondered how much time had passed and if anyone in Enchancia had died yet. (False Name) the Regretful didn’t give a damn one way or the other, but (False Name) the Hero would surely rush back, if only to move towards her ulterior motives.

Decisions, decisions, all of them boring…

**Your memory feels like home to me.**

**So whenever my mind wanders, it always finds its way back to you.**

**~Ranata Suzuki**


End file.
